Dear Wonderful Readers,
I hope you are getting ready for your holidays! We are getting near the end of the year. Have you thought about what you have learned this year about Life, Love, and Relationship? What have you gained? What is your next step? Where are you going next?
If you are searching for your Ideal Relationship, here are some tips for this week.
1. Fill your heart with love
You fill your heart with love by finding something or someone that you love. If you have friends whom you love, then, give your love to your friends. If you have a pet, then, give your love to your pet. If you love to dance, read, write, cook, or do some activities that you love, then, put your whole heart into everything you do. When you put your heart into everything you do, you will find joy, happiness, and love. You will become a magnet of love. You will attract more love into your life.
2. Let go of your limiting beliefs
Find your hidden beliefs that are holding you back. Here are some limiting belief:
Fear of greatness
Fear of not being good enough
Fear of not being loved
Fear of rejection
Fear of failure
Fear of success
I don't deserve/ I am not worthy of love
You can practice letting go of your limiting beliefs by:
1. Be aware of the limiting beliefs.
2. Ask yourself if that belief is true or not?
3. Dig deeper and find out where it is coming from. Whose voice is it that is talking to you? Perhaps it is from your parents, your ex, other people, or your own critic voice that has been sabotaging you for years.
4. Change your new belief
Write it down on a piece of paper or type into your computer in bold letters. State in a present tense.
Here are some example of new beliefs:
I am good enough.
I am worthy of love.
I can succeed in finding my Ideal Life Partner.
I deserve to be loved.
5. Post it somewhere that you can see it daily
6. State your new belief out loud 2 times a day morning and night. Make it a routine. You might need to say your new belief 50 times a day to replace the old.
7. Do this exercise for the next 30 days
It takes time to change your limiting beliefs. It takes reputation, determination, courage, and love. You can do it!
3. Be happy
You can choose to be happy. When you are happy, you attract more happiness in your life. When you are happy, you are attractive!!! It is an attitude that you want to have in order for you to live joyfully. You are the Chooser! You can be happy now by choosing to be!
4. Be the Ideal person who you want to attract
If you want to attract love, be love, loving, and lovable.
5. Give of yourself
The secret of getting love is by giving it. Give without expectation. Give with love even if it is a small thing like your smile. Smile from the heart! Everybody loves a smile. Find some ways to give each day. You will find love, peace, and happiness. The key is to detach from the outcome. You give because you want to give; not because you want something back. That is the true giving. It is giving without expectation. When you give from your heart, it all will come back to you in many beautiful magical ways!!!
6. Believe in yourself
To succeed in anything in life, you have to believe in yourself. If you want to succeed in love, you have to believe that you are worthy of love. Believe that you will meet the right person. Believe that you are good enough. Believe that you have the right to be the Chooser. Don't wait to have someone to choose you.
7. Take actions
Nothing will happen unless you take actions. What is your next step on finding love? What do you need to do? Where will you meet your life partner? What is your plan? If you want something, take actions. If you want love, take actions now. The Divine Spirit will step in and help you when you first help yourself on finding love.
Love starts within a loving heart. Love yourself first. Then, love others more.
If you want love, be love.
If you want peace, be peace.
If you want happiness, be happy.
If you want joy, be joyful.
If you want your Ideal Life Partner, be the Ideal Life Partner.
Just be...And start giving from the heart today.
Happy Sunday!
With Love and Gratitude,
Pichaya
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Friday, December 10, 2010
7 Tips to Overcome Fear
Dear Wonderful Readers,
There are many different kinds of fears that we all do face. Are you familiar with one or some of the following? How do you overcome fears?
Fear of... heights, darkness, water, a certain kind of animals
public speaking
change
unknown
uncertainty
taking risks
rejection
not good enough
looking bad
failure
losing your loved one?
You might want to add on to the list above. Good news is this! You are not alone. I have met many people who have some of those fears and they learned to overcome them.
From my personal experience, I have faced all the fears mentioned above. One of my biggest fears is losing my loved one. I had to deal with it 10 years ago when I lost my previous husband who died of lung cancer. He left me with two small children; 8 months old and 2 years old at that time. I had all sorts of fears. My children and I lived on food stamps in New Mexico. I had no job, no money, and no family to support me. (They all were in Thailand.) I did not know how I could survive in the U.S. I was living with fears for quite sometime. Fortunately, I had some great support from amazing people to help me for what I needed. I am very grateful for those wonderful people who came into my life at that time. Although I had great support, I was still living with fears. Finally, I got to the point where I did not want to live that way anymore.
We all have fears. As long as we live on this earth, we all have to face our own fears. It depends on what kind of fear that we are meant to face and how we deal with them. I would love to share with you about how to overcome fears.
Here are some tips.
1. Acknowledge the fear, feel it, and shift your attention
When fear is presented to you, there is a significant meaning in the fear itself. It is your gift to learn more about yourself that there is nothing that you can't handle. Otherwise, it would not have been given to you since the first place. When you feel the fears, I invite you to ask yourself the following questions.
*What are you afraid of?
*Why?
*What is the worse case that could happen?
*What is the hidden gift behind this event?
*What is your focus?
*What do you really want?
*What is the most important thing for you right now?
*Who are you being?
*Which choice would you want to choose; love or fear?
*What would you do for love?
By acknowledging the fear and feeling it, it helps you recognize that there is something that you really need to work on. Fears come to you because you need the experience to learn more about yourself. You will learn that you can handle anything that comes your way. You will know how to handle them better each time. When fear appears, acknowledge it, feel it, and shift your attention to love and service.
2. Focus on Love and Service
Focus is a great key to bring forth the energy and love to where you want it to be. For example, when I lost my previous husband, I shifted all of my attention on my children instead of feeling sorry for myself. The children were my inspiration. I put all my love and attention on my children. Fear disappeared when I did not think about it. It is all about focus and attention. When I focus on what is more important to do, I can put my energy and love on what I want to focus on. Instead of focusing on the husband who already passed, or feeling sorry for myself, I put my love, care, energy, and attention on my two small children who needed me. I needed to move on not just with my life, but my childrens lives. Focusing on the past brings sadness, regret, guilt, shame, anger, resentment, and fear. Focusing on the goal and the present brings strength, motivation, determination, peace, enthusiasm, trust, acceptance, forgiveness and love. Focusing on love and service brings a sense of life purpose and it chases fears away. When love appears, fear is vanished.
3. Trust, Believe, and Act As If
Trust
Trust in yourself that you can handle anything that comes your way. When you have more trust in yourself, there is nothing to hold you back from doing anything that you want to do. If you have a negative voice that says to you “ You are not good enough” or “You can't handle it.”, please acknowledge that voice and talk to it by questioning your own thoughts and use the questions in #1. You can also say to that voice in a loving way with a positive talk “Thank you for saying so. I do believe and trust in myself and I want to move forward. Thank you for giving me strength.”
Believe
Believe in yourself. Believe in your own highest potential despite of what people say about you or what your negative voice says to you. You can choose to believe when and what you want to. Let's say that you are fear of dating, initiating contacts, or intimacy, you can ask yourself all the questions that I share with you on # 1 Acknowledging Fear, feel it, shift your attention, and focus on Love and Service. Then, make your decision and choose to believe in your own power. Say it many times out loud to yourself “I believe in me.”
Act as if
Have you seen successful people who are very confident in themselves? What if you could act like that by acting as if you were a successful, powerful and confident being? Act as if you are 100% confident in yourself and knowing that you can succeed in anything that you do.
A few years ago, someone asked me to give a talk and share my story in public. First, I said “no” to the person. I got away with it. I did not want to do it because I had fear of looking bad, fear of not good enough, and fear of making mistakes about my English grammar, etc. (FYI: I am Thai. I am not a native speaker.) A few months later, she asked me again to give a talk. This time I asked myself “What is this all about? Why does she keep asking me?” The truth was that it was a gift for me to break through this fear. That was why it was presented to me. Finally, I saw that opportunity as a gift, accepted it, and acted as if I was fully confident in myself to give a talk. I focused on Love and Service and acted as if I was a professional speaker. I acted as if I was a native speaker. As a result, I did fine. I would not want to say that I liked it, but I did it. I walked through it, took action, and I saw the gift.
4. See a hidden gift
When fears are presented to you, look for a gift. What is in it for you? Let's say... you have fears of rejection. You are afraid to initiate contacts because you were hurt from the past and you don't want to get hurt again. Ask yourself “What is in it for me?” Or “What is my gift here?” You might find a gift that helps you to learn how to open heart and accept more love into your life despite of what happened to you in the past. You might be seeing a gift of confidence. That fear of rejection is giving you a gift to bring more confidence in yourself. A great way to see a gift is by looking at life in perspective and be positive. Look for your hidden gift and you will find it.
5.Be in the now
Often we live in the past and in the future. We are not in the now. Have you experienced hurt in the past? Has someone hurt your feelings, broken your heart and trust? Have you found yourself still living in the past thinking about such and such person who hurt you when that event happened a few years or many years ago? In your thoughts you are still hurting even though that event is over. Why don't you want to let go of the past? Why are you keeping it in your thoughts? How does living in the past serve you? It does not. Have you ever been worried or feared of what is going to happen in the future? Why do you worry about the future that has not arrived yet?
We all are given a new day everyday. There is only this moment. It is the now. Be here now. A great way to be in the now is doing meditation, controlling your breathing, and focus on your positive self talk. Put your attention on where you are right now. If you are feeling the fear of something, be here now. Feel the fear, ask yourself the above questions from #1. Next, fill your heart with love.
6. Fill Your Heart With Love
A wonderful way to fill your heart with love is by thinking of when you experience great love. Think of someone you love so greatly that you are willing to risk anything for the other person whether that person is your lover, spouse, children, parents, friends, your pets or your job. Think of something that makes you feel so joyful, happy, and in love. Listen to your favorite music or sing your favorite song. Another way to fill your heart with love is by choosing it to be. Just be love. When your heart is filled with love, there is nothing to hold you back. You will be willing to take risks and do anything just for love.
7. Face Your Fear
Now your heart is filled with great love, fear is starting to quiet down. If you still feel the fear, the only way to overcome your fear is to face it and walk through it. Just do it. Once you take actions, you will experience your own power and learn that you have an ability to handle anything that comes your way. You will face fears with confidence, believe and trust in yourself that you could handle it. Above of all, you will learn about the Power of Love which is the highest power in this whole universe! And you are that LOVE.
Fear is a great opportunity for growth in each area of your life; lifestyle, self-esteem, personal organization, health and fitness, relationships, money and finances, job and career, personal growth, quality of life, and spirituality. Fear will keep appearing in your life until you leave this earth. Life requires growth. When you pass one test, there will be another test to challenge you. There is always a next step to unfold. If you look at fear as your great vitamin for life, you will learn to appreciate fear. It gives you strength. When fear appears, embrace it with love and humility. You will never fail when you do anything with love. When your heart is filled with love, there is nothing to hold you back from moving forward to where you want to go. The more you experience fear, the more you learn about how to love, trust, and believe in yourself. Believe in your own ability. Believe in your own given power. Believe that you can succeed in anything that you want to do. You are unlimited and you are capable of handling anything that life gives you. Take your time to unfold. Go at your own pace. You can do it! Feel the love, face the fear, and find freedom!
With Love and Gratitude,
Pichaya
There are many different kinds of fears that we all do face. Are you familiar with one or some of the following? How do you overcome fears?
Fear of... heights, darkness, water, a certain kind of animals
public speaking
change
unknown
uncertainty
taking risks
rejection
not good enough
looking bad
failure
losing your loved one?
You might want to add on to the list above. Good news is this! You are not alone. I have met many people who have some of those fears and they learned to overcome them.
From my personal experience, I have faced all the fears mentioned above. One of my biggest fears is losing my loved one. I had to deal with it 10 years ago when I lost my previous husband who died of lung cancer. He left me with two small children; 8 months old and 2 years old at that time. I had all sorts of fears. My children and I lived on food stamps in New Mexico. I had no job, no money, and no family to support me. (They all were in Thailand.) I did not know how I could survive in the U.S. I was living with fears for quite sometime. Fortunately, I had some great support from amazing people to help me for what I needed. I am very grateful for those wonderful people who came into my life at that time. Although I had great support, I was still living with fears. Finally, I got to the point where I did not want to live that way anymore.
We all have fears. As long as we live on this earth, we all have to face our own fears. It depends on what kind of fear that we are meant to face and how we deal with them. I would love to share with you about how to overcome fears.
Here are some tips.
1. Acknowledge the fear, feel it, and shift your attention
When fear is presented to you, there is a significant meaning in the fear itself. It is your gift to learn more about yourself that there is nothing that you can't handle. Otherwise, it would not have been given to you since the first place. When you feel the fears, I invite you to ask yourself the following questions.
*What are you afraid of?
*Why?
*What is the worse case that could happen?
*What is the hidden gift behind this event?
*What is your focus?
*What do you really want?
*What is the most important thing for you right now?
*Who are you being?
*Which choice would you want to choose; love or fear?
*What would you do for love?
By acknowledging the fear and feeling it, it helps you recognize that there is something that you really need to work on. Fears come to you because you need the experience to learn more about yourself. You will learn that you can handle anything that comes your way. You will know how to handle them better each time. When fear appears, acknowledge it, feel it, and shift your attention to love and service.
2. Focus on Love and Service
Focus is a great key to bring forth the energy and love to where you want it to be. For example, when I lost my previous husband, I shifted all of my attention on my children instead of feeling sorry for myself. The children were my inspiration. I put all my love and attention on my children. Fear disappeared when I did not think about it. It is all about focus and attention. When I focus on what is more important to do, I can put my energy and love on what I want to focus on. Instead of focusing on the husband who already passed, or feeling sorry for myself, I put my love, care, energy, and attention on my two small children who needed me. I needed to move on not just with my life, but my childrens lives. Focusing on the past brings sadness, regret, guilt, shame, anger, resentment, and fear. Focusing on the goal and the present brings strength, motivation, determination, peace, enthusiasm, trust, acceptance, forgiveness and love. Focusing on love and service brings a sense of life purpose and it chases fears away. When love appears, fear is vanished.
3. Trust, Believe, and Act As If
Trust
Trust in yourself that you can handle anything that comes your way. When you have more trust in yourself, there is nothing to hold you back from doing anything that you want to do. If you have a negative voice that says to you “ You are not good enough” or “You can't handle it.”, please acknowledge that voice and talk to it by questioning your own thoughts and use the questions in #1. You can also say to that voice in a loving way with a positive talk “Thank you for saying so. I do believe and trust in myself and I want to move forward. Thank you for giving me strength.”
Believe
Believe in yourself. Believe in your own highest potential despite of what people say about you or what your negative voice says to you. You can choose to believe when and what you want to. Let's say that you are fear of dating, initiating contacts, or intimacy, you can ask yourself all the questions that I share with you on # 1 Acknowledging Fear, feel it, shift your attention, and focus on Love and Service. Then, make your decision and choose to believe in your own power. Say it many times out loud to yourself “I believe in me.”
Act as if
Have you seen successful people who are very confident in themselves? What if you could act like that by acting as if you were a successful, powerful and confident being? Act as if you are 100% confident in yourself and knowing that you can succeed in anything that you do.
A few years ago, someone asked me to give a talk and share my story in public. First, I said “no” to the person. I got away with it. I did not want to do it because I had fear of looking bad, fear of not good enough, and fear of making mistakes about my English grammar, etc. (FYI: I am Thai. I am not a native speaker.) A few months later, she asked me again to give a talk. This time I asked myself “What is this all about? Why does she keep asking me?” The truth was that it was a gift for me to break through this fear. That was why it was presented to me. Finally, I saw that opportunity as a gift, accepted it, and acted as if I was fully confident in myself to give a talk. I focused on Love and Service and acted as if I was a professional speaker. I acted as if I was a native speaker. As a result, I did fine. I would not want to say that I liked it, but I did it. I walked through it, took action, and I saw the gift.
4. See a hidden gift
When fears are presented to you, look for a gift. What is in it for you? Let's say... you have fears of rejection. You are afraid to initiate contacts because you were hurt from the past and you don't want to get hurt again. Ask yourself “What is in it for me?” Or “What is my gift here?” You might find a gift that helps you to learn how to open heart and accept more love into your life despite of what happened to you in the past. You might be seeing a gift of confidence. That fear of rejection is giving you a gift to bring more confidence in yourself. A great way to see a gift is by looking at life in perspective and be positive. Look for your hidden gift and you will find it.
5.Be in the now
Often we live in the past and in the future. We are not in the now. Have you experienced hurt in the past? Has someone hurt your feelings, broken your heart and trust? Have you found yourself still living in the past thinking about such and such person who hurt you when that event happened a few years or many years ago? In your thoughts you are still hurting even though that event is over. Why don't you want to let go of the past? Why are you keeping it in your thoughts? How does living in the past serve you? It does not. Have you ever been worried or feared of what is going to happen in the future? Why do you worry about the future that has not arrived yet?
We all are given a new day everyday. There is only this moment. It is the now. Be here now. A great way to be in the now is doing meditation, controlling your breathing, and focus on your positive self talk. Put your attention on where you are right now. If you are feeling the fear of something, be here now. Feel the fear, ask yourself the above questions from #1. Next, fill your heart with love.
6. Fill Your Heart With Love
A wonderful way to fill your heart with love is by thinking of when you experience great love. Think of someone you love so greatly that you are willing to risk anything for the other person whether that person is your lover, spouse, children, parents, friends, your pets or your job. Think of something that makes you feel so joyful, happy, and in love. Listen to your favorite music or sing your favorite song. Another way to fill your heart with love is by choosing it to be. Just be love. When your heart is filled with love, there is nothing to hold you back. You will be willing to take risks and do anything just for love.
7. Face Your Fear
Now your heart is filled with great love, fear is starting to quiet down. If you still feel the fear, the only way to overcome your fear is to face it and walk through it. Just do it. Once you take actions, you will experience your own power and learn that you have an ability to handle anything that comes your way. You will face fears with confidence, believe and trust in yourself that you could handle it. Above of all, you will learn about the Power of Love which is the highest power in this whole universe! And you are that LOVE.
Fear is a great opportunity for growth in each area of your life; lifestyle, self-esteem, personal organization, health and fitness, relationships, money and finances, job and career, personal growth, quality of life, and spirituality. Fear will keep appearing in your life until you leave this earth. Life requires growth. When you pass one test, there will be another test to challenge you. There is always a next step to unfold. If you look at fear as your great vitamin for life, you will learn to appreciate fear. It gives you strength. When fear appears, embrace it with love and humility. You will never fail when you do anything with love. When your heart is filled with love, there is nothing to hold you back from moving forward to where you want to go. The more you experience fear, the more you learn about how to love, trust, and believe in yourself. Believe in your own ability. Believe in your own given power. Believe that you can succeed in anything that you want to do. You are unlimited and you are capable of handling anything that life gives you. Take your time to unfold. Go at your own pace. You can do it! Feel the love, face the fear, and find freedom!
With Love and Gratitude,
Pichaya
Sunday, October 24, 2010
9 Tips to Self love
Dear Readers,
Are you one of those people who have a hard time loving yourself? If so, you are not alone. Loving yourself is an ongoing journey. It takes practice. You can do it! Here are some tips for you to practice self love.
1. Practice receiving love
To truly love is to be able to receive it. When someone loves you, does some kind deeds to you, say kind words, give you gifts, or give you compliments, embrace it. Allow yourself to feel the love that has come your way. Know that you are worthy of love. It is important to accept a gift of love by others. You give yourself a chance to learn more about yourself that you are lovable. You give someone a joy of giving by loving you. Another important way is to practice receiving love by saying “I love you” to yourself. Let that love fill your heart. Receive that love that you give to yourself unconditionally.
2. Practice saying “no”
It is o.k. to say “no” to people when you do not feel like doing something. Do not feel guilty about it. Just realize that you have the right to do so. This is different from doing things out of love. If you do things out of love and your heart wants to do them, that is a different story. What I am talking about here is when your heart does not want to do it and you feel like you have to please someone, and make others happy by over extending yourself. Learning how to say “no” is an art. It takes practice. You might say “Thank you for asking. I am not ready to commit to doing anything right now.” You cannot please everyone. When you say “no”, remember to smile sincerely and say “no” gracefully.
3. Do what you love
What do you love to do? If you could find something that you love to do and spend time doing it, you will experience love, joy, and happiness in your heart. That is when you truly connect with your authentic self. As a result you become happier and more loving.
4. Treat yourself like treating your very best friend
How do you treat your very best friend? Do you treat him/her with love, kindness, trust, appreciation, acceptance, and respect? If you can give that to your friend, why don’t you give that to yourself? Practice treating yourself like you treat your very best friend by saying kind words to yourself. Stop calling yourself names. Stop beating yourself up. Forgive yourself. Give yourself compliments. Know your boundaries and listen deeply to your needs. Treat yourself kindly, gently, and lovingly like you treat your very best friend.
5. Forgive
Forgive yourself for all the mistakes, regrets, shames, and everything. Leave the past behind and be present with your new day. Today is your day. It is time to move forward. Just do it.
6. Nurture yourself
Self care is very important. Set up some time to be by yourself, just by yourself. Do something that gives you peace, love, and joy with yourself. You can nurture yourself physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.
Physical
*Go to a gym, yoga class, take a walk, play tennis, or any kind of exercise that you love to do
*Go to a dance class if you love to dance
*Take a nap when you want and need to
*Get a massage
*Consume healthy food that is good for your body.
Realize that you do this because you love you. Take very good care of you. If you don’t, who will?
Emotional
*Feel good about yourself. Look at yourself in the mirror, smile, and say “I love you. I am love, loving, and lovable.”
*Listen to your favorite music
*Acknowledge your accomplishment each day even it is a small thing
*Look at the sunrise each morning
*Pet your dog or cat
*Water your plants
*Call or e-mail your friends and share your feelings with them
*Wear your favorite clothes
*Do whatever makes you feel good about yourself
Mental
*Read your favorite books
*Write your daily journal about dreams
*Write your to do list
*Write your gratitude list
*Make a list of your short and long term goals
*Track your goals
*Make a list of things that you want to improve about your life, love, and relationships
Spiritual
*Meditate or contemplate
*Be centered with your higher self
*Connect with nature
7. Stop comparing yourself to others
Everyone on this earth is unique. We all have different gifts. When you compare yourself to others, it makes you feel bad about yourself. When you compare yourself to others for what they have, whether it is a car, a house, a mate, children, money, or a job, it makes you feel low self esteem, lose your confidence, and perhaps depressed, envy or jealous. A way to stop comparing yourself to others is by focusing on your own strength. Get to know yourself and discover what is your greatest gift that you are meant to share with the world.
Another great way is by practicing gratitude. Be happy for what you have. Really be grateful about everything that you have; people in your life, job, relationships, material, etc. Gratitude keeps your heart open to love. No one is quite like you. Just be you. Be grateful for being the wonderful you. Do the best you can. Be the best you can and love yourself more. Then, you have more love to give to others.
8. Stop trying to be perfect
Here is a quote from a dear friend of mine: “Excellence I can achieve. Perfection is God’s business”. Stop criticizing yourself for being less than perfect. Always do your best. But, not reaching perfection is not failure.
9. Change your self talk
“Change your Self-Talk and you will change your programs. Change your programs and you will change your life.”
~Dr. Shad Helmstetter
Have you ever watched your thoughts on how you talk to yourself? Is it negative or positive? If you have been talking to yourself negatively, you can change it by changing your programs. You can change your self-talk by changing your programs that have been stored in your brain since you were born. A great way that I would recommend is to listen to self-talk cds. It works for many people. It worked for me and it changed my life in an amazing, profound, and incredible way.
There are 3 books by Dr. Helmstetter that I highly recommend.
1. What To Say When You Talk to Your Self.
2. Who Are You Really And What Do You Want?
3. The Gift
To learn more about Self Talk, please visit www.selftalkstore.com.
If those books and cds can change my life and many people’s lives, it can change yours!
When you love yourself, you have more love to give. You become more attractive. As a result, you attract more love into your life when you are love, loving, and lovable.
With Love and Gratitude,
Pichaya
Are you one of those people who have a hard time loving yourself? If so, you are not alone. Loving yourself is an ongoing journey. It takes practice. You can do it! Here are some tips for you to practice self love.
1. Practice receiving love
To truly love is to be able to receive it. When someone loves you, does some kind deeds to you, say kind words, give you gifts, or give you compliments, embrace it. Allow yourself to feel the love that has come your way. Know that you are worthy of love. It is important to accept a gift of love by others. You give yourself a chance to learn more about yourself that you are lovable. You give someone a joy of giving by loving you. Another important way is to practice receiving love by saying “I love you” to yourself. Let that love fill your heart. Receive that love that you give to yourself unconditionally.
2. Practice saying “no”
It is o.k. to say “no” to people when you do not feel like doing something. Do not feel guilty about it. Just realize that you have the right to do so. This is different from doing things out of love. If you do things out of love and your heart wants to do them, that is a different story. What I am talking about here is when your heart does not want to do it and you feel like you have to please someone, and make others happy by over extending yourself. Learning how to say “no” is an art. It takes practice. You might say “Thank you for asking. I am not ready to commit to doing anything right now.” You cannot please everyone. When you say “no”, remember to smile sincerely and say “no” gracefully.
3. Do what you love
What do you love to do? If you could find something that you love to do and spend time doing it, you will experience love, joy, and happiness in your heart. That is when you truly connect with your authentic self. As a result you become happier and more loving.
4. Treat yourself like treating your very best friend
How do you treat your very best friend? Do you treat him/her with love, kindness, trust, appreciation, acceptance, and respect? If you can give that to your friend, why don’t you give that to yourself? Practice treating yourself like you treat your very best friend by saying kind words to yourself. Stop calling yourself names. Stop beating yourself up. Forgive yourself. Give yourself compliments. Know your boundaries and listen deeply to your needs. Treat yourself kindly, gently, and lovingly like you treat your very best friend.
5. Forgive
Forgive yourself for all the mistakes, regrets, shames, and everything. Leave the past behind and be present with your new day. Today is your day. It is time to move forward. Just do it.
6. Nurture yourself
Self care is very important. Set up some time to be by yourself, just by yourself. Do something that gives you peace, love, and joy with yourself. You can nurture yourself physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.
Physical
*Go to a gym, yoga class, take a walk, play tennis, or any kind of exercise that you love to do
*Go to a dance class if you love to dance
*Take a nap when you want and need to
*Get a massage
*Consume healthy food that is good for your body.
Realize that you do this because you love you. Take very good care of you. If you don’t, who will?
Emotional
*Feel good about yourself. Look at yourself in the mirror, smile, and say “I love you. I am love, loving, and lovable.”
*Listen to your favorite music
*Acknowledge your accomplishment each day even it is a small thing
*Look at the sunrise each morning
*Pet your dog or cat
*Water your plants
*Call or e-mail your friends and share your feelings with them
*Wear your favorite clothes
*Do whatever makes you feel good about yourself
Mental
*Read your favorite books
*Write your daily journal about dreams
*Write your to do list
*Write your gratitude list
*Make a list of your short and long term goals
*Track your goals
*Make a list of things that you want to improve about your life, love, and relationships
Spiritual
*Meditate or contemplate
*Be centered with your higher self
*Connect with nature
7. Stop comparing yourself to others
Everyone on this earth is unique. We all have different gifts. When you compare yourself to others, it makes you feel bad about yourself. When you compare yourself to others for what they have, whether it is a car, a house, a mate, children, money, or a job, it makes you feel low self esteem, lose your confidence, and perhaps depressed, envy or jealous. A way to stop comparing yourself to others is by focusing on your own strength. Get to know yourself and discover what is your greatest gift that you are meant to share with the world.
Another great way is by practicing gratitude. Be happy for what you have. Really be grateful about everything that you have; people in your life, job, relationships, material, etc. Gratitude keeps your heart open to love. No one is quite like you. Just be you. Be grateful for being the wonderful you. Do the best you can. Be the best you can and love yourself more. Then, you have more love to give to others.
8. Stop trying to be perfect
Here is a quote from a dear friend of mine: “Excellence I can achieve. Perfection is God’s business”. Stop criticizing yourself for being less than perfect. Always do your best. But, not reaching perfection is not failure.
9. Change your self talk
“Change your Self-Talk and you will change your programs. Change your programs and you will change your life.”
~Dr. Shad Helmstetter
Have you ever watched your thoughts on how you talk to yourself? Is it negative or positive? If you have been talking to yourself negatively, you can change it by changing your programs. You can change your self-talk by changing your programs that have been stored in your brain since you were born. A great way that I would recommend is to listen to self-talk cds. It works for many people. It worked for me and it changed my life in an amazing, profound, and incredible way.
There are 3 books by Dr. Helmstetter that I highly recommend.
1. What To Say When You Talk to Your Self.
2. Who Are You Really And What Do You Want?
3. The Gift
To learn more about Self Talk, please visit www.selftalkstore.com.
If those books and cds can change my life and many people’s lives, it can change yours!
When you love yourself, you have more love to give. You become more attractive. As a result, you attract more love into your life when you are love, loving, and lovable.
With Love and Gratitude,
Pichaya
Saturday, October 2, 2010
8 Tips to Attract Love Into Your Life
Dear Friends,
If you are yearning to love and to be loved, here are some tips for you to attract the love into your life.
1.Be a magnet of love
You attract love by being a magnet of love. Love is what you are. The people you attract are the reflection of who you are. If you are loving, cheerful, or positive, you will attract that kind of people into your life. If you are angry, negative, or doubtful, you are more likely to attract that into your life. How do you practice being a magnet of love? It is simply by filling your heart with love and thinking happy thoughts. Think of a time when you first fell in love. Feel it. Truly feel it. How wonderful and blissful does it make you feel? Then, act upon it. Act as if you are already in love with your ideal partner. What does he/she look like? What are the values/qualities in the other person that you want to see? Imagine he/she is here right beside you. Imagine how great it feels for you to be loved by that special someone. Imagine the touch, the kisses, and the love making. Feel the softness of his/her skin, hair, the warmth of his/ her body, and hear the voice. See you both together being deeply in love, hear the laughter, and feel that strong bond of love between the two of you. When you imagine, it becomes real. Allow yourself to be unlimited. That is what you are. You are unlimited. Why limit yourself? Imagine, think, act, feel, and act upon it. Then, you will manifest it. When your heart is filled with love, you become a magnet of it.
2.Know who you are and what you want
It is very important to know who you are and to be specific with what you really want in your ideal life partner.
Here are some questions for you:
*What is your mission, vision, and life purpose?
*What are your values?
*What do you really want in a relationship?
*What is the most important for you in a relationship?
*What does your future partner look like?
*What qualities/values of your partner are you searching for?
*What are your relationship requirements, needs, and wants? To give you some ideas, please see mine:
Requirements
1. Must love me and my children unconditionally. (I was a widow with two small children at the time.)
2. Must accept the differences between us especially on my spiritual path.
3. Must be honest, loving, kind, giving, thoughtful, and understanding.
If one of those qualities is missing, the relationship would not work for me. I would not waste my time with that person. I would put my love and energy on searching for my white knight who would have those three qualities.
Wants
1.Compliment
2.Excitement
3.A middle age man 50+ with mustache and beard is a plus!
Needs
1.Love for me and my children.
2.Trust
3.Complete acceptance
4.Open Communication
5.Romance
6.Support
3.Believe in yourself and believe in love
What you believe, you achieve. If you believe that you would attract the right partner, you will succeed. If you believe that there was no right person for you, then, you would attract the wrong person. It is very important to recognize your highest potential and be aware of how you talk to yourself. Is it positive or negative? Any time when your negative voice appears, acknowledge it and ask yourself if it is true. Then, change that thought to be a positive and loving thought. Belief in yourself is a crucial step for your success in any area of your life.
4.Give love freely
One of the secrets of getting love is by giving it. True giving is when you give without expectation. When you give love freely, all that you give out comes back to you. It might not come back in the way you expect it, but you would truly feel it in your heart. If you can picture when you throw a boomerang, you will see how it comes back to you. What you give out comes back to you. When that love comes back to you, your heart will be filled with it. Then, you become a magnet of love and attract more love into your life.
5.Keep your heart open
It is hard to open your heart again after getting hurt. I know. I invite you to put things into perspective. Please see my questions to ask yourself below.
*How can you attract love into your life if you close the door?
*What could be the worst things that would happen to you if you allow yourself to be open?
*What possibilities or opportunities would you miss if you close your heart?
*What door would open if you keep your heart open?
*What are you afraid of?
*What impact does it have on you when you feel afraid?
*What opportunities are you missing when feel that way?
*What attitude do you need to shift?
*What would you do if you knew that there was someone out there in this universe who will love you truly and accept you for who you are?
*How would you feel if you fall in love again?
*How would you act differently?
*What would be possible when you give yourself a chance?
*How do you know if it is true that you would never find the right person? (This question is for those who believe in this thought.)
Please see my previous article about 10 Ways to Open Your Heart to Love.
6.Be grateful
Being grateful keeps you happy, healthy, and keeps your heart open to more love. The more you count your blessings, the more love will come to you. What are you grateful for? Make a list. Look at your list. Feel the love and all the blessings that have been given to you. Say “thank you” and really mean it from your grateful heart. You will feel the power of gratitude!
7.Be present
This is very important! Being in the present means you are here at this moment where you are manifesting love. Stop thinking about someone who broke your heart yesterday, last week, last year, or last decades. It is over. All of the broken hearts were over. The time is now for you to start your new life, new relationship, and new love. Let go of all the past. Be here now. Forgive those who hurt you. Send them love. Forgive yourself for everything. Today is your new day. It is your day to attract love. It is your day to be in love with yourself. Give yourself that love. Love, trust, accept, and forgive yourself. Give that unconditional love to yourself. You deserve to be happy. You deserve to be loved. You deserve your new love – it is on its way. It starts from you. Love yourself and be here now.
8.Dare to dream big
Dreams do indeed come true. When you dream, it gives you hope, courage, and inspiration. Anything is possible when you believe in yourself and allow yourself to be unlimited. Your dream have to be big enough that when you think about it, it gives you goosebumps. If you dream of finding your ideal partner, see yourself with that person, feel the love that you are receiving, and know that you deserve this special someone to truly love you. Be in the relationship that you have always dreamed of. Dare to dream big and start living it. You will see a miracle.
Attracting love into your life starts from you. You have the power to create the world you want. You have the power to attract the love you desire. You can do it! You are a magnet of love.
Love,
Pichaya
If you are yearning to love and to be loved, here are some tips for you to attract the love into your life.
1.Be a magnet of love
You attract love by being a magnet of love. Love is what you are. The people you attract are the reflection of who you are. If you are loving, cheerful, or positive, you will attract that kind of people into your life. If you are angry, negative, or doubtful, you are more likely to attract that into your life. How do you practice being a magnet of love? It is simply by filling your heart with love and thinking happy thoughts. Think of a time when you first fell in love. Feel it. Truly feel it. How wonderful and blissful does it make you feel? Then, act upon it. Act as if you are already in love with your ideal partner. What does he/she look like? What are the values/qualities in the other person that you want to see? Imagine he/she is here right beside you. Imagine how great it feels for you to be loved by that special someone. Imagine the touch, the kisses, and the love making. Feel the softness of his/her skin, hair, the warmth of his/ her body, and hear the voice. See you both together being deeply in love, hear the laughter, and feel that strong bond of love between the two of you. When you imagine, it becomes real. Allow yourself to be unlimited. That is what you are. You are unlimited. Why limit yourself? Imagine, think, act, feel, and act upon it. Then, you will manifest it. When your heart is filled with love, you become a magnet of it.
2.Know who you are and what you want
It is very important to know who you are and to be specific with what you really want in your ideal life partner.
Here are some questions for you:
*What is your mission, vision, and life purpose?
*What are your values?
*What do you really want in a relationship?
*What is the most important for you in a relationship?
*What does your future partner look like?
*What qualities/values of your partner are you searching for?
*What are your relationship requirements, needs, and wants? To give you some ideas, please see mine:
Requirements
1. Must love me and my children unconditionally. (I was a widow with two small children at the time.)
2. Must accept the differences between us especially on my spiritual path.
3. Must be honest, loving, kind, giving, thoughtful, and understanding.
If one of those qualities is missing, the relationship would not work for me. I would not waste my time with that person. I would put my love and energy on searching for my white knight who would have those three qualities.
Wants
1.Compliment
2.Excitement
3.A middle age man 50+ with mustache and beard is a plus!
Needs
1.Love for me and my children.
2.Trust
3.Complete acceptance
4.Open Communication
5.Romance
6.Support
3.Believe in yourself and believe in love
What you believe, you achieve. If you believe that you would attract the right partner, you will succeed. If you believe that there was no right person for you, then, you would attract the wrong person. It is very important to recognize your highest potential and be aware of how you talk to yourself. Is it positive or negative? Any time when your negative voice appears, acknowledge it and ask yourself if it is true. Then, change that thought to be a positive and loving thought. Belief in yourself is a crucial step for your success in any area of your life.
4.Give love freely
One of the secrets of getting love is by giving it. True giving is when you give without expectation. When you give love freely, all that you give out comes back to you. It might not come back in the way you expect it, but you would truly feel it in your heart. If you can picture when you throw a boomerang, you will see how it comes back to you. What you give out comes back to you. When that love comes back to you, your heart will be filled with it. Then, you become a magnet of love and attract more love into your life.
5.Keep your heart open
It is hard to open your heart again after getting hurt. I know. I invite you to put things into perspective. Please see my questions to ask yourself below.
*How can you attract love into your life if you close the door?
*What could be the worst things that would happen to you if you allow yourself to be open?
*What possibilities or opportunities would you miss if you close your heart?
*What door would open if you keep your heart open?
*What are you afraid of?
*What impact does it have on you when you feel afraid?
*What opportunities are you missing when feel that way?
*What attitude do you need to shift?
*What would you do if you knew that there was someone out there in this universe who will love you truly and accept you for who you are?
*How would you feel if you fall in love again?
*How would you act differently?
*What would be possible when you give yourself a chance?
*How do you know if it is true that you would never find the right person? (This question is for those who believe in this thought.)
Please see my previous article about 10 Ways to Open Your Heart to Love.
6.Be grateful
Being grateful keeps you happy, healthy, and keeps your heart open to more love. The more you count your blessings, the more love will come to you. What are you grateful for? Make a list. Look at your list. Feel the love and all the blessings that have been given to you. Say “thank you” and really mean it from your grateful heart. You will feel the power of gratitude!
7.Be present
This is very important! Being in the present means you are here at this moment where you are manifesting love. Stop thinking about someone who broke your heart yesterday, last week, last year, or last decades. It is over. All of the broken hearts were over. The time is now for you to start your new life, new relationship, and new love. Let go of all the past. Be here now. Forgive those who hurt you. Send them love. Forgive yourself for everything. Today is your new day. It is your day to attract love. It is your day to be in love with yourself. Give yourself that love. Love, trust, accept, and forgive yourself. Give that unconditional love to yourself. You deserve to be happy. You deserve to be loved. You deserve your new love – it is on its way. It starts from you. Love yourself and be here now.
8.Dare to dream big
Dreams do indeed come true. When you dream, it gives you hope, courage, and inspiration. Anything is possible when you believe in yourself and allow yourself to be unlimited. Your dream have to be big enough that when you think about it, it gives you goosebumps. If you dream of finding your ideal partner, see yourself with that person, feel the love that you are receiving, and know that you deserve this special someone to truly love you. Be in the relationship that you have always dreamed of. Dare to dream big and start living it. You will see a miracle.
Attracting love into your life starts from you. You have the power to create the world you want. You have the power to attract the love you desire. You can do it! You are a magnet of love.
Love,
Pichaya
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Seven Tips for Forgiveness
Dear Wonderful Readers,
What does it take to forgive someone who HURT you? Why forgive them at all? Forgiveness is one of the greatest gifts that you can give to yourself. You do it for YOU, not for anyone else. Think about when you hold on to the thoughts of someone who hurt you, how does it make you feel? Think about when you let go of all the painful past experience in life, how does it make you feel?
There are many people who have been abused or hurt in life. I once was one of them. It is very painful, so painful and hurting that the abused ended up hating the abuser, himself/herself or others, even innocent people. When abused, the mind of the abused becomes a breeding ground for prejudice, hate, hurt, closed heart and other negative traits. In some cases, the abused may feel hurt physically, verbally, mentally, emotionally, psychologically and even spiritually. Though a bad and sad encounter, there's always something to learn for the duo. This is a situation that impels the abused to ask, “Why me?”
From my personal experience, forgiveness sets me free. Forgiveness brings me love, peace, and joy in my heart. I would love to share some tips with you about how to forgive.
1. Love yourself
Be kind and gentle with yourself. Take good care of your body, think good thoughts, and live in spirit. You are a spirit. You are love. Stop beating yourself up from all those past hurts. Nurture yourself with love and care. Eat healthy food. Exercise. Do things that bring you joy, peace, and love. Look in the mirror and say “I love you.”
2. Look at life in perspective
Life is a precious gift. Every problem that comes in life is a great gift. Why? It is for each one of us to learn, grow, and become stronger. In truth, it is for all of us to learn how to love, accept, trust, and forgive ourselves. Look back and see everyone who has come into your life as your teacher. When someone hurt you, see the lesson behind it. You might be learning about forgiveness and compassion or love. You might be learning about who you truly are. You might be learning about making choices to choose how you think, act, and say and learn discrimination. You might be learning about being in the moment. When you put things in perspective and see the person who hurt you gave you as a gift of truth for you to learn more about yourself, you will be at peace.
3. Be in the present moment
Stop thinking about the past. When you think about your old hurts in the past, you make the stories become alive. Thoughts are real. Thoughts are energy. The more you think about negative thoughts, the more you give them energy. Focusing your thoughts on the past feeds the demons by giving them your attention. The result is that you create your own hurt by thinking about it. You cannot fix the past. You are here now. The incident is over. Start your new day and create your new picture. You are a creator of your own world. Think about what you want to create at this moment. The incident is not happening now. It is all in the past. Focus on your present. Take a couple of deep breaths, inhale, hold your breath, and let go. When you breathe in, feel the love that surrounds you. Allow yourself to truly feel that love within yourself too. When you exhale, allow your old hurts to leave you. Let it go, let it go, and let it go. Be at peace with yourself and feel that love in your heart at the very present moment.
4. Control your thoughts
When negative thoughts show up, acknowledge it. Then, ask yourself the following questions.
* Why am I thinking about this?
* Am I in the past or in the now?
* What is the benefit of holding on to this thought?
* What is the benefit of letting go of this thought?
* What choice do I want to make to bring me at peace?
You have the power to control your thoughts. It takes practice. You can do it!
5. Let go of your anger
Writing and meditating are great ways of letting go of anger. Releasing your anger through writing will help you let go of your anger. You can write an angry letter to someone who hurt you, but don’t mail it. It is not necessary. You might want to even burn it. Then, let go. Meditation is really a great way to bring you to focus on the present. When you are in the present, it brings you love, peace, and joy in your heart.
6. Choose to be, do and have
Forgiveness is a choice. You can choose to be angry, or loving. You can choose holding on or letting go. You can choose to be happy or sad. You can choose to be stuck or free. You can choose to have anger or love in your heart. You can create the world you want. You have the power within you.
7. Get help
It can be difficult to forget about the painful past and forgive those who hurt you. Find help and the support you need. Meeting with a therapist, friend, or coach might help you with letting go of your old hurts on a deeper level. Talking out your pain with someone who loves you and isn’t going to judge you will help. You deserve to have a happy life. You really do.
Forgiveness is another form of love. You give yourself a great gift by forgiving those who hurt you. You free yourself from hurt, anger and resentment. You are in this present moment. It is the moment for you to move forward. It is the moment for you to be in a new place where it is brighter, happier, and more beautiful. It is the moment for you to be free!
With Gratitude and Love,
Pichaya
What does it take to forgive someone who HURT you? Why forgive them at all? Forgiveness is one of the greatest gifts that you can give to yourself. You do it for YOU, not for anyone else. Think about when you hold on to the thoughts of someone who hurt you, how does it make you feel? Think about when you let go of all the painful past experience in life, how does it make you feel?
There are many people who have been abused or hurt in life. I once was one of them. It is very painful, so painful and hurting that the abused ended up hating the abuser, himself/herself or others, even innocent people. When abused, the mind of the abused becomes a breeding ground for prejudice, hate, hurt, closed heart and other negative traits. In some cases, the abused may feel hurt physically, verbally, mentally, emotionally, psychologically and even spiritually. Though a bad and sad encounter, there's always something to learn for the duo. This is a situation that impels the abused to ask, “Why me?”
From my personal experience, forgiveness sets me free. Forgiveness brings me love, peace, and joy in my heart. I would love to share some tips with you about how to forgive.
1. Love yourself
Be kind and gentle with yourself. Take good care of your body, think good thoughts, and live in spirit. You are a spirit. You are love. Stop beating yourself up from all those past hurts. Nurture yourself with love and care. Eat healthy food. Exercise. Do things that bring you joy, peace, and love. Look in the mirror and say “I love you.”
2. Look at life in perspective
Life is a precious gift. Every problem that comes in life is a great gift. Why? It is for each one of us to learn, grow, and become stronger. In truth, it is for all of us to learn how to love, accept, trust, and forgive ourselves. Look back and see everyone who has come into your life as your teacher. When someone hurt you, see the lesson behind it. You might be learning about forgiveness and compassion or love. You might be learning about who you truly are. You might be learning about making choices to choose how you think, act, and say and learn discrimination. You might be learning about being in the moment. When you put things in perspective and see the person who hurt you gave you as a gift of truth for you to learn more about yourself, you will be at peace.
3. Be in the present moment
Stop thinking about the past. When you think about your old hurts in the past, you make the stories become alive. Thoughts are real. Thoughts are energy. The more you think about negative thoughts, the more you give them energy. Focusing your thoughts on the past feeds the demons by giving them your attention. The result is that you create your own hurt by thinking about it. You cannot fix the past. You are here now. The incident is over. Start your new day and create your new picture. You are a creator of your own world. Think about what you want to create at this moment. The incident is not happening now. It is all in the past. Focus on your present. Take a couple of deep breaths, inhale, hold your breath, and let go. When you breathe in, feel the love that surrounds you. Allow yourself to truly feel that love within yourself too. When you exhale, allow your old hurts to leave you. Let it go, let it go, and let it go. Be at peace with yourself and feel that love in your heart at the very present moment.
4. Control your thoughts
When negative thoughts show up, acknowledge it. Then, ask yourself the following questions.
* Why am I thinking about this?
* Am I in the past or in the now?
* What is the benefit of holding on to this thought?
* What is the benefit of letting go of this thought?
* What choice do I want to make to bring me at peace?
You have the power to control your thoughts. It takes practice. You can do it!
5. Let go of your anger
Writing and meditating are great ways of letting go of anger. Releasing your anger through writing will help you let go of your anger. You can write an angry letter to someone who hurt you, but don’t mail it. It is not necessary. You might want to even burn it. Then, let go. Meditation is really a great way to bring you to focus on the present. When you are in the present, it brings you love, peace, and joy in your heart.
6. Choose to be, do and have
Forgiveness is a choice. You can choose to be angry, or loving. You can choose holding on or letting go. You can choose to be happy or sad. You can choose to be stuck or free. You can choose to have anger or love in your heart. You can create the world you want. You have the power within you.
7. Get help
It can be difficult to forget about the painful past and forgive those who hurt you. Find help and the support you need. Meeting with a therapist, friend, or coach might help you with letting go of your old hurts on a deeper level. Talking out your pain with someone who loves you and isn’t going to judge you will help. You deserve to have a happy life. You really do.
Forgiveness is another form of love. You give yourself a great gift by forgiving those who hurt you. You free yourself from hurt, anger and resentment. You are in this present moment. It is the moment for you to move forward. It is the moment for you to be in a new place where it is brighter, happier, and more beautiful. It is the moment for you to be free!
With Gratitude and Love,
Pichaya
Friday, September 3, 2010
Ten Ways to Open Your Heart to Love
Dear Wonderful Readers,
What is life all about? Why are we here? For me, what I have experienced is that I am here to learn how to give and receive love. I am here to be of service to others. If life is about giving and receiving love, what is the point of having a relationship with someone, fall in love, then experience heart broken, dealing with challenges, problems, obstacles, pain, sorrow, grief, regret, etc. Life is teaching us how to find love within ourselves, keep our hearts open, and know that the best is yet to come. When situation in life does not come your way, if you can put it in perspective and see it in a bigger picture, you will realize that there is a reason behind everything. There is a specific lesson that you are supposed to learn from every experience in life. All experiences in life teach you how to find your true self. All experiences in life teach you how to love, accept, trust, and forgive yourself. All experiences in life teach you how to open your heart to love.
What do you do when you experience a broken heart, getting hurt, or facing disappointments? Some of us close ourselves up because we are fear to be hurt again. Some of us can move on with ease. There are at least ten ways to help you open your heart again. I have been practicing them and would like to share with you.
1. Do what you love and love what you do
*What makes you heart sing?
Find the time to do something that you love. Give that special time for yourself and connect with your authentic, true self who has an ability to give love, receive and be love. For example, reading, writing, cooking, talking to friends, walking in the woods, working in your garden, going to the beach, etc. When you do something that you love, your heart opens for more love to enter and more love to give.
2. Do something for someone without any expectations
*What would be a kind deed, thought, or speech that you would like to give to someone without expectations?
*How would that make the other person feel when he/she receive an act of kindness from you?
*How would that make you feel when you do something kind to others?
For me, it does not have to be a big, grand action, but small things with great love. For example, I walk my dog regularly because I love her. I do it just for her because I know she loves going out and it is good for her. When she is happy, it makes me happy. Making someone happy keeps my heart glowing, dancing, and expanding to more love. My other favorite things to do are to open doors for someone wherever I go, smile at people who walk by, wave to my neighbors, say “hi” to people who pass by while I walk my dog, etc. You will feel the love in your heart that you give out because what goes around comes around.
3. Think happy thoughts
*What brings you a smile when you think about it?
Have you ever heard of the “Law of Attraction”? Like attracts like. Love attract love. Hate attract hate.
When you think of happy thoughts, some happy things start to show up in your life.
When you think of sad thoughts, sad incidents start to show up in your life. When you think of someone or your old friend, that person would call you or e-mail you, etc. Thoughts are energy and so are you. Be aware of what you are thinking about because you will receive whatever you think about. If you want happiness, then, think of happiness. If you want to have love in your heart, then, think about love. If you want peace, then, think about peace, etc. When you think of happy thoughts, your heart will be filled with love and happiness. Your heart will smile and be ready to open up again.
4. Embrace life and say “yes” to it
*What happens when you embrace life?
*What happens when you don’t?
When an opportunity is presented to you, what do you with it? When a new friend, relationship or job appears in your life, how do you embrace it? Are you accepting with grace or running away from it?
If you say “no” to life, think about how many opportunities and lessons in life you will miss. Think about what you might miss in order for you to learn, grow and become strong. Life is growth. As long as you live, you will continue to grow.
Take risks, get out of your comfort zone, stretch your muscles, and say “yes” to life. I would also recommend you to see the movie “Yes Man!” with Jim Carrey. It is a great movie for all of us to learn how to listen to our hearts and say “Yes” to life.
If you say “yes” to life, you will learn to find your true self who is unlimited, incredible and bold. You will learn that you can indeed do anything that you want to do and be anything you want to be. You have that power within you. It is a matter of taking action and accepting all opportunities that come. The important key is to always listen to your heart or your inner voice because it always speaks the truth. Say “yes” to what you want and say “no” to what you do not want.
*What is holding you back from being open or embracing life?
A typical answer would be “I am afraid of….” Yes, it is good to acknowledge the fear. It is indeed good for you. It is healthy. It can help you build confidence when you move past your fear to the other side. You will be proud of yourself that you actually overcame it. The key is to fill your heart with love. With love you can do anything!
Although things may seem to be difficult at the moment, allow yourself to be who you truly are and tap into the power within. Go beyond the limitation. Feel and experience the limitless within you. You will be amazed with yourself that in truth anything is possible when you allow yourself to be who you truly are -- the unlimited!
You are unlimited. Why limit yourself? Be open, say “yes” to life and see what life might bring for you.
5. See the best in every person, every situation, every opportunity and every moment
*What do you see in your life right now that is a great opportunity for you to grow?
*What is your life teaching you?
When you see things in perspective, it helps you widen your perception. You see things in a bigger picture. Instead of beating yourself up, blaming yourself or others about your past mistake, practice seeing the lesson behind your experience. What does life teach you? When you see the best in everything and everyone, you are more likely to see the best in yourself. When you see things in a bigger picture, your heart is more likely to accept what life might bring and be more open to love.
6. Practice controlling your breathing, meditation, or contemplation
*What helps you be at peace?
Controlling your breathing, meditation, or contemplation helps you connect to your true being. As many of you may have heard, we are spiritual beings living in human bodies. Each one of us has the inner voice that always speaks the truth. Practice controlling your breathing, meditation or contemplation. This will help you still your mind and be in touch with who you truly are. It will bring you love, peace, and even heal your broken heart. When you listen to the mind instead of your own heart, it stops you. It stops you from seeing truth. It stops you from being your authentic, true self. It stops you from feeling that love within you. It blocks you from opening your heart. Your true nature is love. Love is what you are.
Close your eyes, still your mind and practice your breathing. Take deep breaths, hold them, and let go slowly. Let go of all your hurts, worries, doubts, and fears. Be in the moment of your breathing. You are breathing love in and letting love out. You are conscious of your state at the moment. It is a state of being in love. Keep practicing that for about 15-20 minutes a day and you will see the result. You will feel at peace and find love there.
Control your mind. Do not let the mind control you.
7. Be grateful for everything
*What are you grateful for today?
*What blessings have you been receiving since you were born until now?
*What are the blessings that make you feel loved, accepted and special?
Start counting you blessings today. You will be amazed that indeed you are very blessed.
Are you still breathing? You are alive! You have eyes to see, ears to hear, mouth to eat, nose to smell beautiful roses, hands to touch things or hold people, you even have six sense and your heart is still beating!!! You might not have what your neighbors have; dream mate, children, dream job, dream car, money, etc., but you do have you, the wonderful, incredible you!
What are you grateful for? Do you have your journal that you can write down your list? When you write things down, it helps you see things clearly. At the moment, you might not feel grateful. If you pick up a pen and start jotting it down, going through all of the wonderful things that you are grateful for in your life, you will be surprised. Think about someone in the past who came into your life and taught you something -- whether it was your parents, siblings, spouse, children, teachers, friends, coworkers, boss, neighbors, strangers or even your ex, etc.. What did you learn from them? What specific lesson was it that each of those people taught you and brought you to be the person you are today?
I count my blessings everyday before going to bed and when I wake up each morning. I thank the Higher Power for the gift of life. I thank my spouse and my children for being in my life. I thank all my friends and everyone for being in my life. I thank my dog for teaching me how to love unconditionally. I thank every situation, every experience, and every challenge to help me grow. I thank the sun for shining. I thank the beautiful green trees for their beauty. I thank the rain for pouring on all those trees. I can go on with my endless list. The more I count my blessings, the more love comes into my heart.
Sometime when life does not come our way, we get frustrated, disappointed, and close our hearts. If you start to look at life in perspective, you will see that indeed life is teaching you to learn how to love you. Life is teaching you how to find yourself and find that love within you. When you are grateful for life and everything, you heart will start opening. That is the secret. Count your blessings today and feel your heart expand!
Life is a precious gift. Don’t take it for granted.
8. Be in the now
*Where are your thoughts right now?
If you are reading this article, you are here and now. If your eyes are looking at this article, but your mind is somewhere else, you are not being present.
Some of us or most of us spend too much time dwelling in the past thinking about how happy you were when you were in your past relationship, how sad it was to break up, how our bodies used to look like when we were younger, how you enjoyed your moment with someone, but now it is all gone, how much you regret, etc. When you think about the past, you live in the past. You are not here. You cannot go forward when you live in the past. Let go of your past. Let it go. It is over. Don’t worry about the future either. There is neither past, nor future, but the now. Every moment of your life is in the now.
9. Be loving
*How can you attract love if you are not being loving?
Be loving by giving love to yourself. Fill your heart with love by thinking of happy thoughts, letting go of your old hurts, limiting negative beliefs and seeing who you are right now. When you are loving, you allow love to enter. When you feel loving, you are tending to be more open to possibilities. You are willing to give. When you give and whatever you give out, it all comes back to you.
Practice being loving by looking at yourself in the mirror and say “ I love you. You are incredible. You are a happy being. You are loving and lovable.” When you love, trust, accept and forgive yourself, you will become more loving. Give unconditional love to yourself. Feel that love and be it.
10. Be yourself
*Who are you really?
Spend time discovering yourself. You are the creator of your own world. You can do or be anything you want to do and be. The key is to tap into that power within and to start to act now. Discover the real, authentic you. Discover the loving you who has a beautiful heart that is filled with so much love, joy, and peace. You inspire others. You are beautiful. You are love. Be yourself and be love. Then, you will attract love into your life. You become a magnet of love.
Open your heart again. Let the love come in. Fill your heart with it and give it to those who needs it. You are incredible! The world does not need your suffering, but your love. You are love.
With Love and Gratitude,
Pichaya
What is life all about? Why are we here? For me, what I have experienced is that I am here to learn how to give and receive love. I am here to be of service to others. If life is about giving and receiving love, what is the point of having a relationship with someone, fall in love, then experience heart broken, dealing with challenges, problems, obstacles, pain, sorrow, grief, regret, etc. Life is teaching us how to find love within ourselves, keep our hearts open, and know that the best is yet to come. When situation in life does not come your way, if you can put it in perspective and see it in a bigger picture, you will realize that there is a reason behind everything. There is a specific lesson that you are supposed to learn from every experience in life. All experiences in life teach you how to find your true self. All experiences in life teach you how to love, accept, trust, and forgive yourself. All experiences in life teach you how to open your heart to love.
What do you do when you experience a broken heart, getting hurt, or facing disappointments? Some of us close ourselves up because we are fear to be hurt again. Some of us can move on with ease. There are at least ten ways to help you open your heart again. I have been practicing them and would like to share with you.
1. Do what you love and love what you do
*What makes you heart sing?
Find the time to do something that you love. Give that special time for yourself and connect with your authentic, true self who has an ability to give love, receive and be love. For example, reading, writing, cooking, talking to friends, walking in the woods, working in your garden, going to the beach, etc. When you do something that you love, your heart opens for more love to enter and more love to give.
2. Do something for someone without any expectations
*What would be a kind deed, thought, or speech that you would like to give to someone without expectations?
*How would that make the other person feel when he/she receive an act of kindness from you?
*How would that make you feel when you do something kind to others?
For me, it does not have to be a big, grand action, but small things with great love. For example, I walk my dog regularly because I love her. I do it just for her because I know she loves going out and it is good for her. When she is happy, it makes me happy. Making someone happy keeps my heart glowing, dancing, and expanding to more love. My other favorite things to do are to open doors for someone wherever I go, smile at people who walk by, wave to my neighbors, say “hi” to people who pass by while I walk my dog, etc. You will feel the love in your heart that you give out because what goes around comes around.
3. Think happy thoughts
*What brings you a smile when you think about it?
Have you ever heard of the “Law of Attraction”? Like attracts like. Love attract love. Hate attract hate.
When you think of happy thoughts, some happy things start to show up in your life.
When you think of sad thoughts, sad incidents start to show up in your life. When you think of someone or your old friend, that person would call you or e-mail you, etc. Thoughts are energy and so are you. Be aware of what you are thinking about because you will receive whatever you think about. If you want happiness, then, think of happiness. If you want to have love in your heart, then, think about love. If you want peace, then, think about peace, etc. When you think of happy thoughts, your heart will be filled with love and happiness. Your heart will smile and be ready to open up again.
4. Embrace life and say “yes” to it
*What happens when you embrace life?
*What happens when you don’t?
When an opportunity is presented to you, what do you with it? When a new friend, relationship or job appears in your life, how do you embrace it? Are you accepting with grace or running away from it?
If you say “no” to life, think about how many opportunities and lessons in life you will miss. Think about what you might miss in order for you to learn, grow and become strong. Life is growth. As long as you live, you will continue to grow.
Take risks, get out of your comfort zone, stretch your muscles, and say “yes” to life. I would also recommend you to see the movie “Yes Man!” with Jim Carrey. It is a great movie for all of us to learn how to listen to our hearts and say “Yes” to life.
If you say “yes” to life, you will learn to find your true self who is unlimited, incredible and bold. You will learn that you can indeed do anything that you want to do and be anything you want to be. You have that power within you. It is a matter of taking action and accepting all opportunities that come. The important key is to always listen to your heart or your inner voice because it always speaks the truth. Say “yes” to what you want and say “no” to what you do not want.
*What is holding you back from being open or embracing life?
A typical answer would be “I am afraid of….” Yes, it is good to acknowledge the fear. It is indeed good for you. It is healthy. It can help you build confidence when you move past your fear to the other side. You will be proud of yourself that you actually overcame it. The key is to fill your heart with love. With love you can do anything!
Although things may seem to be difficult at the moment, allow yourself to be who you truly are and tap into the power within. Go beyond the limitation. Feel and experience the limitless within you. You will be amazed with yourself that in truth anything is possible when you allow yourself to be who you truly are -- the unlimited!
You are unlimited. Why limit yourself? Be open, say “yes” to life and see what life might bring for you.
5. See the best in every person, every situation, every opportunity and every moment
*What do you see in your life right now that is a great opportunity for you to grow?
*What is your life teaching you?
When you see things in perspective, it helps you widen your perception. You see things in a bigger picture. Instead of beating yourself up, blaming yourself or others about your past mistake, practice seeing the lesson behind your experience. What does life teach you? When you see the best in everything and everyone, you are more likely to see the best in yourself. When you see things in a bigger picture, your heart is more likely to accept what life might bring and be more open to love.
6. Practice controlling your breathing, meditation, or contemplation
*What helps you be at peace?
Controlling your breathing, meditation, or contemplation helps you connect to your true being. As many of you may have heard, we are spiritual beings living in human bodies. Each one of us has the inner voice that always speaks the truth. Practice controlling your breathing, meditation or contemplation. This will help you still your mind and be in touch with who you truly are. It will bring you love, peace, and even heal your broken heart. When you listen to the mind instead of your own heart, it stops you. It stops you from seeing truth. It stops you from being your authentic, true self. It stops you from feeling that love within you. It blocks you from opening your heart. Your true nature is love. Love is what you are.
Close your eyes, still your mind and practice your breathing. Take deep breaths, hold them, and let go slowly. Let go of all your hurts, worries, doubts, and fears. Be in the moment of your breathing. You are breathing love in and letting love out. You are conscious of your state at the moment. It is a state of being in love. Keep practicing that for about 15-20 minutes a day and you will see the result. You will feel at peace and find love there.
Control your mind. Do not let the mind control you.
7. Be grateful for everything
*What are you grateful for today?
*What blessings have you been receiving since you were born until now?
*What are the blessings that make you feel loved, accepted and special?
Start counting you blessings today. You will be amazed that indeed you are very blessed.
Are you still breathing? You are alive! You have eyes to see, ears to hear, mouth to eat, nose to smell beautiful roses, hands to touch things or hold people, you even have six sense and your heart is still beating!!! You might not have what your neighbors have; dream mate, children, dream job, dream car, money, etc., but you do have you, the wonderful, incredible you!
What are you grateful for? Do you have your journal that you can write down your list? When you write things down, it helps you see things clearly. At the moment, you might not feel grateful. If you pick up a pen and start jotting it down, going through all of the wonderful things that you are grateful for in your life, you will be surprised. Think about someone in the past who came into your life and taught you something -- whether it was your parents, siblings, spouse, children, teachers, friends, coworkers, boss, neighbors, strangers or even your ex, etc.. What did you learn from them? What specific lesson was it that each of those people taught you and brought you to be the person you are today?
I count my blessings everyday before going to bed and when I wake up each morning. I thank the Higher Power for the gift of life. I thank my spouse and my children for being in my life. I thank all my friends and everyone for being in my life. I thank my dog for teaching me how to love unconditionally. I thank every situation, every experience, and every challenge to help me grow. I thank the sun for shining. I thank the beautiful green trees for their beauty. I thank the rain for pouring on all those trees. I can go on with my endless list. The more I count my blessings, the more love comes into my heart.
Sometime when life does not come our way, we get frustrated, disappointed, and close our hearts. If you start to look at life in perspective, you will see that indeed life is teaching you to learn how to love you. Life is teaching you how to find yourself and find that love within you. When you are grateful for life and everything, you heart will start opening. That is the secret. Count your blessings today and feel your heart expand!
Life is a precious gift. Don’t take it for granted.
8. Be in the now
*Where are your thoughts right now?
If you are reading this article, you are here and now. If your eyes are looking at this article, but your mind is somewhere else, you are not being present.
Some of us or most of us spend too much time dwelling in the past thinking about how happy you were when you were in your past relationship, how sad it was to break up, how our bodies used to look like when we were younger, how you enjoyed your moment with someone, but now it is all gone, how much you regret, etc. When you think about the past, you live in the past. You are not here. You cannot go forward when you live in the past. Let go of your past. Let it go. It is over. Don’t worry about the future either. There is neither past, nor future, but the now. Every moment of your life is in the now.
9. Be loving
*How can you attract love if you are not being loving?
Be loving by giving love to yourself. Fill your heart with love by thinking of happy thoughts, letting go of your old hurts, limiting negative beliefs and seeing who you are right now. When you are loving, you allow love to enter. When you feel loving, you are tending to be more open to possibilities. You are willing to give. When you give and whatever you give out, it all comes back to you.
Practice being loving by looking at yourself in the mirror and say “ I love you. You are incredible. You are a happy being. You are loving and lovable.” When you love, trust, accept and forgive yourself, you will become more loving. Give unconditional love to yourself. Feel that love and be it.
10. Be yourself
*Who are you really?
Spend time discovering yourself. You are the creator of your own world. You can do or be anything you want to do and be. The key is to tap into that power within and to start to act now. Discover the real, authentic you. Discover the loving you who has a beautiful heart that is filled with so much love, joy, and peace. You inspire others. You are beautiful. You are love. Be yourself and be love. Then, you will attract love into your life. You become a magnet of love.
Open your heart again. Let the love come in. Fill your heart with it and give it to those who needs it. You are incredible! The world does not need your suffering, but your love. You are love.
With Love and Gratitude,
Pichaya
Friday, August 13, 2010
Nine Principles of True Love
Dear Readers,
Love makes all things beautiful. As a wife and a mother of three, I have been learning a great lesson about true love. Before getting married and before having children, I thought life was all about me. Once I have been giving my life to my family, something significant changed within me. Life has been no longer about “me”, but “we”. Life is all about loving and serving others. Life is about giving and receiving love. There are more than nine principles of true love, but I would love to share with you about what I have been learning. Plus, the number “9” is a great number for the Thai people. Number 9 means moving forward.
1. True love is selfless.
If you truly love someone, you would be willing to give of yourself to him/ her. You would be willing to give what is the most precious thing for you to the other person. You would be willing to give what the other person needs. You would be willing to give up something that is very important to you to give them something that is very important to them. For example, if your boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse loves watching TV, you would let him/her watch TV instead of paying attention to you or helping you do the house chores. If he/she loves going out with friends, you would allow him/ her to be with friends. If he/she has a bad day from work, you would give him/ her attention, care, and ask how he/ she is feeling. You would be willing to listen without judgment, but with love. Giving yourself to your others brings a valuable reward. It makes you happy. It brings you joy.
2. True love is unconditional.
If you truly love someone, you would let the other person be and not try to change him/her. You would give without expecting things in return. You would accept the other person for who she/he is. You would forgive the other person when the other person hurts your feelings. You would let go of your ego and be humble to true love.
3. True love is nurturing.
Love makes all things beautiful. As a wife and a mother of three, I have been learning a great lesson about true love. Before getting married and before having children, I thought life was all about me. Once I have been giving my life to my family, something significant changed within me. Life has been no longer about “me”, but “we”. Life is all about loving and serving others. Life is about giving and receiving love. There are more than nine principles of true love, but I would love to share with you about what I have been learning. Plus, the number “9” is a great number for the Thai people. Number 9 means moving forward.
1. True love is selfless.
If you truly love someone, you would be willing to give of yourself to him/ her. You would be willing to give what is the most precious thing for you to the other person. You would be willing to give what the other person needs. You would be willing to give up something that is very important to you to give them something that is very important to them. For example, if your boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse loves watching TV, you would let him/her watch TV instead of paying attention to you or helping you do the house chores. If he/she loves going out with friends, you would allow him/ her to be with friends. If he/she has a bad day from work, you would give him/ her attention, care, and ask how he/ she is feeling. You would be willing to listen without judgment, but with love. Giving yourself to your others brings a valuable reward. It makes you happy. It brings you joy.
2. True love is unconditional.
If you truly love someone, you would let the other person be and not try to change him/her. You would give without expecting things in return. You would accept the other person for who she/he is. You would forgive the other person when the other person hurts your feelings. You would let go of your ego and be humble to true love.
3. True love is nurturing.
If you truly love someone, you would nurture him/her. How do you nurture? If you are a parent, you would know how to nurture your baby by holding, kissing, hugging, or singing lullabies. If you are a plant lover, you would know how to nurture your plant by watering it. If you are a pet lover, you would pet it, or even kiss it. If you have a boyfriend/ girlfriend, you would express your care by spending time together, doing something fun together, supporting, kissing, touching, etc. If you have a spouse, you would keep on loving by doing small things each day to let your spouse know how much you care, love, appreciate, admire, and adore him/her. We all are human beings. Basic human needs are to love and to be loved, to be appreciated, and to be wanted. In summary, you will never want to take your loved ones for granted. You would express your love in anyway you can to let the other person know how much you care.
4. True love is patient.
If you truly love someone, you would be patient with him/her. This is an ongoing lesson for many people. I know. It takes practice. How do you practice being patient? Here are some questions for you to ask yourself when things don’t come your way.
* What am I impatient about?
* How does being impatient help me?
* What makes me feel impatient?
* What is it about this person/ situation that I don’t like? Do I see my own reflection in the other person?
* What can I do to make me feel at peace?
* What would be my best solution right now to solve this problem?
* What attitude do I need to change in order to help me see and feel better about the person or situation?
* What is the benefit of holding on to the ideas of how things should be?
* What would be my great benefit to allow the process to be and to accept things/people the way they are?
5. True love is understanding.
If you truly love someone, you would learn to understand the other person by putting yourself in his/her shoes. It is hard to imagine yourself in someone’s shoes. When you practice this principle, you will learn not to judge people. You will learn to understand the other person. For example, if your girlfriend, boyfriend, or spouse wants to go out with his/her friend, but you want him/her to stay with you and spend time with you, practice putting yourself in his/her shoes and imagine how you would feel when you want to do something you love, but your loved one is holding you back and not letting you go. What kind of love is that? Would you allow the other person to have freedom and do what the other person likes to do? Learning to understand someone’s needs is an art of being loving.
6. True love is loving what is.
If you truly love someone, you would be loving what is. You would accept the other person for who he/she is. You would not try to change the other person. It is impossible to change the other person anyway. The one thing that you can change is your attitude to accept things the way things are.
7. True love is inspiring.
If you truly love someone, you would inspire him/her by being your authentic self. Being your authentic self brings about love and beauty. You would build, uplift, and inspire others. Being inspiring means being in Spirit. That Spirit is you; your true being, your pure being, your beautiful, and magnificent being.
8. True love is present.
If you truly love someone, you would be present with the other person. Being present means you are embracing each and every moment with him/her. You would not think about the past or the future, but the now. You would be fully in the present moment and enjoy each moment of your life with the other person.
9. True love is eternal.
Love has always been here. Love never dies. It is this love that sustains all life. It is this love that makes all things beautiful. It is this love that is within each one of us, every breath we take, and every moment we live. It is the Divine love that is so beautiful, unconditional, immeasurable, sweet, present, inspiring, and eternal. Feel that love in your heart and give it to the world around you. Know that you are here because you are loved. You have always been loved. And you will always be loved...
With Love and Gratitude,
Pichaya
Friday, August 6, 2010
Are You Ready for Love?
Relationship Readiness Quiz will help you level of readiness for love… It is a kind of love that is deep, long lasting and fulfilling.
To assess your readiness for a committed relationship, rate yourself in each of the following ten areas. Try to be objective and honest with yourself.
Rating Scale: Rate each item on a scale from 0 to 10
8-10: Good; this area of my life is strong and would be an asset to my next relationship
5-7: OK; this area needs work, but most likely would not sabotage my next relationship
0-4: Needs Work; this area could interfere with the success of my next relationship
1. I know what I want have a clear vision for my relationship. I can envision my perfect relationship in rich detail that feels strong, very real and keeps me motivated.
2. I know my requirements. I have a written list of at least ten non-negotiable requirements that I use for screening potential partners. I am clear that if any are missing, a relationship will not work for me.
3. I am happy and successful being single. I enjoy my life, my work, my family, my friends and my own company. I am living the life that I want and I am not seeking a relationship out of desperation and need.
4. I am satisfied with my work/career. My work is fulfilling, supports my lifestyle and does not interfere with my availability to build a new relationship.
5. I am ready and available for commitment. I have no emotional or legal baggage from a previous relationship. My schedule, commitments and lifestyle allow my availability to build a new relationship.
6. I am healthy in mind, body and spirit. My physical, mental or emotional health does not interfere with having the life and relationship that I want. I am reasonably happy and feel good.
7. My financial and legal business is handled. I have no financial or legal issues that would interfere with having the life and the relationship I want.
8. My family relationships are functional. My relationship with my children, ex, siblings, parents and extended family do not interfere with having the life and relationship that I want.
9. I have effective dating skills. I initiate contact with people I want to meet and disengage from people who are not a match for me. I keep my physical and emotional boundaries and balance my heart with my head with potential partners.
10. I have effective relationship skills. I understand relationships, can maintain closeness and intimacy, communicate authentically and assertively negotiate differences positively, allow myself to trust and be vulnerable and can give and receive love without emotional barriers.
Score Results:
80 - 100: Green Light You are well on your way to the life and the relationship you really want.
50 - 79: Yellow Light Continue to work on the areas needed and take it slow in relationships whole doing so.
0 - 49: Red Light Take a break from seeking a partner, focus on your life and prepare for the relationship you really want
© Relationship Coaching Institute
Used with permission
To assess your readiness for a committed relationship, rate yourself in each of the following ten areas. Try to be objective and honest with yourself.
Rating Scale: Rate each item on a scale from 0 to 10
8-10: Good; this area of my life is strong and would be an asset to my next relationship
5-7: OK; this area needs work, but most likely would not sabotage my next relationship
0-4: Needs Work; this area could interfere with the success of my next relationship
1. I know what I want have a clear vision for my relationship. I can envision my perfect relationship in rich detail that feels strong, very real and keeps me motivated.
2. I know my requirements. I have a written list of at least ten non-negotiable requirements that I use for screening potential partners. I am clear that if any are missing, a relationship will not work for me.
3. I am happy and successful being single. I enjoy my life, my work, my family, my friends and my own company. I am living the life that I want and I am not seeking a relationship out of desperation and need.
4. I am satisfied with my work/career. My work is fulfilling, supports my lifestyle and does not interfere with my availability to build a new relationship.
5. I am ready and available for commitment. I have no emotional or legal baggage from a previous relationship. My schedule, commitments and lifestyle allow my availability to build a new relationship.
6. I am healthy in mind, body and spirit. My physical, mental or emotional health does not interfere with having the life and relationship that I want. I am reasonably happy and feel good.
7. My financial and legal business is handled. I have no financial or legal issues that would interfere with having the life and the relationship I want.
8. My family relationships are functional. My relationship with my children, ex, siblings, parents and extended family do not interfere with having the life and relationship that I want.
9. I have effective dating skills. I initiate contact with people I want to meet and disengage from people who are not a match for me. I keep my physical and emotional boundaries and balance my heart with my head with potential partners.
10. I have effective relationship skills. I understand relationships, can maintain closeness and intimacy, communicate authentically and assertively negotiate differences positively, allow myself to trust and be vulnerable and can give and receive love without emotional barriers.
Score Results:
80 - 100: Green Light You are well on your way to the life and the relationship you really want.
50 - 79: Yellow Light Continue to work on the areas needed and take it slow in relationships whole doing so.
0 - 49: Red Light Take a break from seeking a partner, focus on your life and prepare for the relationship you really want
© Relationship Coaching Institute
Used with permission
Principles for Conscious Dating Success
1. Know who you are and what you want - Endeavoring to partner when you don't know who you are or what you want is like trying to find the match to a pair of shoes you haven't seen yet.
2. Learn how to get what you want - Learn information, tools, and skills you will need to find your true love. Develop creative strategies and action plans. Don't leave things to chance.
3. Be the Chooser - Take initiative and responsibility for your outcomes. Don't react to what, or who, chooses you. Seek to create what you want in your life.
4. Balance your heart with your head- Make your relationship choices consciously. It's still exciting!
5. Be ready and available for commitment - Know the difference between dating for fun and dating for partnering. Complete business from any old relationships before dating seriously.
6. Use the Law of Attraction - Become the kind of person you want to attract by developing yourself and living the life that you want. Do you have the traits you desire in a partner?
7. Gain relationship knowledge and skills - Prepare for the love of your life by learning how relationships work, improving your relationship skills, and deepening your relationships with your family, friends, and colleagues. Date for fun and practice. Take relationship classes and workshops.
8. Create a support community - Isolated singles become lonely in their relationships when they focus on a partner to meet all their social and emotional needs. Having a strong community of friends is the best indication that you are ready for serious dating.
9. Practice assertiveness - Ask for what you want and say no to what you don't want with equal zeal.
10. Be a Successful Single - Don't put your life on hold waiting for a relationship to happen. The best way to find your life partner is to be a happy, successful single person living the life that you really want.
© Relationship Coaching Institute
Used with permission
Friday, July 30, 2010
10 Ways to Wonderful Relationships
Dear Readers,
A relationship starts with yourself. Before you have a good relationship with someone, it is very important to have a great relationship with yourself. There are at least 10 principles of being and doing in order for you to have wonderful relationships with yourself and others. There are questions for you to ask yourself too. When asking yourself questions, you will find answers.
1. Love
Love yourself. This might seem like an old story being said over and over again. Some people might say “Why do you have to love yourself?” My question to you is “How can you love others if you don’t love yourself first?”
Loving yourself sounds easy, doesn’t it?
* Do you truly love yourself?
* What do you say when you talk to yourself? Do you say “Oh, you are not good enough, or do you say “You are great, incredible, and amazing!”?
* What do you do when you make a mistake? Do you beat yourself up, or do you hold that inner child and say “It is o.k. You made a mistake. I love you anyway. All is well.”?
* What do you do when you love yourself? Do you nurture yourself? Do you eat healthy food for your healthy body or you eat food that is not good for you? Do you take the time for yourself? Do you do what you love to do?
* How do you treat yourself? Do you treat yourself kindly or do you say unkind words to yourself when things do not come your way? Do you allow others to dominate you, or do you stand up for yourself?
2. Accept
Self acceptance is an important key for a wonderful relationship. When you accept yourself as who you are, you are ready to accept others. Self acceptance means you accept yourself no matter what.
* Do you accept yourself the way you look, the way you are, the way you walk, or talk, or whatever that is all about you?
* Do you call yourself names because someone in the past called you those names and you still believe in those thoughts?
* Do you accept yourself right now and say to yourself “I accept me for who I am”?
* How does it feel when you accept yourself?
* What is acceptable or unacceptable for you?
* What can you do to change your attitude toward self acceptance?
3. Appreciate
Appreciation or gratitude is a key to open your heart to love. When you appreciate or are grateful for something or someone, you feel loved, blessed, and happy.
* Do you appreciate yourself for every positive action you do, or do you think that no matter what you do, it’s not good enough?
* What do you most appreciate about yourself, your life, your body, your mind, your being, your feelings, your thoughts and actions?
* What are you grateful for?
4. Trust
Ok. You made mistakes. You had broken hearts. Someone who was supposed to love you did not love you the way you wanted. Someone broke your trust. It is hard for you to learn to trust people because of your past experiences.
* What are you going to do with it?
* Are you willing to hold on to that pain and be miserable for the rest of your life, or let go and move on?
* What would be your benefit of holding on to all the painful past experiences?
* What would be an impact on you or others when you focus on your painful past experiences?
* What choice would you like to make for your own goodness sake?
5. Listen
Listening is love.
* How do you listen to yourself?
* Do you listen to yourself with love or you have your negative opinions about anything you say?
* What happens when you listen to your own inner self (intuition, or your gut)?
* What happens when you do not listen?
6. Be present
To live is to be in the now. When you dwell on the painful past experiences, it brings you pain. When you worry about the future that has not yet arrived, it brings you anxiety. Which way would you like to live your life?
What does it mean to be present? For me, being present is when I put my whole attention on whatever I am doing. For example, when I write, I put all my thoughts, my love, and my awareness into my writing. When I cook, I do not worry about paying bills. When I eat ice cream, my attention is to taste the richness and the sweetness of the ice cream. I am not worrying about my work. I enjoy everything I do at each moment. Every given moment is precious.
There is no past to hold you back. There is no future to worry you. There is only the now. It is the time to be in the moment and embrace this wonderful opportunity to live to the fullest. You deserve it.
7. Be happy
Happiness is a state of mind. It is also a choice. Happiness is a way of life. You have a choice to be happy or miserable about your life, your love, or your relationship no matter what circumstances you are in. Life has ups and downs. You can choose to roll with the punch or you can choose to be rigid or against it. You can choose to accept things the way things are or you can choose to keep arguing about truth. It is all about a choice. It is all about your attitude. What choice would you rather make? What attitude would you rather have?
8. Believe
Belief in yourself is one of the first steps to success. Building your self esteem is very important. Here are some questions for you:
* Do you believe in someone’s negative opinions about you?
* What would be your benefits of believing in those thoughts?
* What would be your benefits for you when you shift your awareness to believing in yourself?
* How would that feel?
* What would be happening when you start to believe in yourself right now?
* What action can you take in order for you to believe in yourself?
9. Give
True love is selfless. It is all about giving. The more you give, the more you get. The secret of getting love is by giving it. When you truly love someone, you would be willing to give unconditionally the other person to what he/she needs.
* What are you willing to give freely and unconditionally to yourself at this very moment?
* What are you willing to give up when you are in a relationship?
* Do you give yourself a chance to be open or do you close yourself up tightly after you experienced your broken heart?
* When you give yourself freedom, what benefit does it bring you?
10. Forgive
This is one of the hardest things to do. I know. It is for your own benefit. Forgiveness sets you free. Forgive yourself and someone who hurt you. By doing so, you do yourself a favor. You are giving yourself a wonderful gift. That gift is freedom! You will be free from pain, anger, hurt, resentment, and all other negative feelings that have been eating you up.
You are a beautiful and wonderful being. You are loved. Look around and focus on only those who love you. Forgive those who hurt you. Forget about the past, live in the now, and live the life that you deserve. You are magnificent. All you need to do is to recognize it. Love yourself, love others, and love the higher source. Fill your heart with love until you become a magnet of it. One way for you to fill your heart with love is by counting your blessings. The more you count your blessings, the more you will see that life indeed is precious. When your heart is open to love, you will attract more love into your life.
Building a wonderful relationship takes time. Start with small steps. Every step you take will bring you to where you want to be. Please keep on loving yourself. You can do it! You are incredible! You are magnificent! You are love!
Much Love,
Pichaya
A relationship starts with yourself. Before you have a good relationship with someone, it is very important to have a great relationship with yourself. There are at least 10 principles of being and doing in order for you to have wonderful relationships with yourself and others. There are questions for you to ask yourself too. When asking yourself questions, you will find answers.
1. Love
Love yourself. This might seem like an old story being said over and over again. Some people might say “Why do you have to love yourself?” My question to you is “How can you love others if you don’t love yourself first?”
Loving yourself sounds easy, doesn’t it?
* Do you truly love yourself?
* What do you say when you talk to yourself? Do you say “Oh, you are not good enough, or do you say “You are great, incredible, and amazing!”?
* What do you do when you make a mistake? Do you beat yourself up, or do you hold that inner child and say “It is o.k. You made a mistake. I love you anyway. All is well.”?
* What do you do when you love yourself? Do you nurture yourself? Do you eat healthy food for your healthy body or you eat food that is not good for you? Do you take the time for yourself? Do you do what you love to do?
* How do you treat yourself? Do you treat yourself kindly or do you say unkind words to yourself when things do not come your way? Do you allow others to dominate you, or do you stand up for yourself?
2. Accept
Self acceptance is an important key for a wonderful relationship. When you accept yourself as who you are, you are ready to accept others. Self acceptance means you accept yourself no matter what.
* Do you accept yourself the way you look, the way you are, the way you walk, or talk, or whatever that is all about you?
* Do you call yourself names because someone in the past called you those names and you still believe in those thoughts?
* Do you accept yourself right now and say to yourself “I accept me for who I am”?
* How does it feel when you accept yourself?
* What is acceptable or unacceptable for you?
* What can you do to change your attitude toward self acceptance?
3. Appreciate
Appreciation or gratitude is a key to open your heart to love. When you appreciate or are grateful for something or someone, you feel loved, blessed, and happy.
* Do you appreciate yourself for every positive action you do, or do you think that no matter what you do, it’s not good enough?
* What do you most appreciate about yourself, your life, your body, your mind, your being, your feelings, your thoughts and actions?
* What are you grateful for?
4. Trust
Ok. You made mistakes. You had broken hearts. Someone who was supposed to love you did not love you the way you wanted. Someone broke your trust. It is hard for you to learn to trust people because of your past experiences.
* What are you going to do with it?
* Are you willing to hold on to that pain and be miserable for the rest of your life, or let go and move on?
* What would be your benefit of holding on to all the painful past experiences?
* What would be an impact on you or others when you focus on your painful past experiences?
* What choice would you like to make for your own goodness sake?
5. Listen
Listening is love.
* How do you listen to yourself?
* Do you listen to yourself with love or you have your negative opinions about anything you say?
* What happens when you listen to your own inner self (intuition, or your gut)?
* What happens when you do not listen?
6. Be present
To live is to be in the now. When you dwell on the painful past experiences, it brings you pain. When you worry about the future that has not yet arrived, it brings you anxiety. Which way would you like to live your life?
What does it mean to be present? For me, being present is when I put my whole attention on whatever I am doing. For example, when I write, I put all my thoughts, my love, and my awareness into my writing. When I cook, I do not worry about paying bills. When I eat ice cream, my attention is to taste the richness and the sweetness of the ice cream. I am not worrying about my work. I enjoy everything I do at each moment. Every given moment is precious.
There is no past to hold you back. There is no future to worry you. There is only the now. It is the time to be in the moment and embrace this wonderful opportunity to live to the fullest. You deserve it.
7. Be happy
Happiness is a state of mind. It is also a choice. Happiness is a way of life. You have a choice to be happy or miserable about your life, your love, or your relationship no matter what circumstances you are in. Life has ups and downs. You can choose to roll with the punch or you can choose to be rigid or against it. You can choose to accept things the way things are or you can choose to keep arguing about truth. It is all about a choice. It is all about your attitude. What choice would you rather make? What attitude would you rather have?
8. Believe
Belief in yourself is one of the first steps to success. Building your self esteem is very important. Here are some questions for you:
* Do you believe in someone’s negative opinions about you?
* What would be your benefits of believing in those thoughts?
* What would be your benefits for you when you shift your awareness to believing in yourself?
* How would that feel?
* What would be happening when you start to believe in yourself right now?
* What action can you take in order for you to believe in yourself?
9. Give
True love is selfless. It is all about giving. The more you give, the more you get. The secret of getting love is by giving it. When you truly love someone, you would be willing to give unconditionally the other person to what he/she needs.
* What are you willing to give freely and unconditionally to yourself at this very moment?
* What are you willing to give up when you are in a relationship?
* Do you give yourself a chance to be open or do you close yourself up tightly after you experienced your broken heart?
* When you give yourself freedom, what benefit does it bring you?
10. Forgive
This is one of the hardest things to do. I know. It is for your own benefit. Forgiveness sets you free. Forgive yourself and someone who hurt you. By doing so, you do yourself a favor. You are giving yourself a wonderful gift. That gift is freedom! You will be free from pain, anger, hurt, resentment, and all other negative feelings that have been eating you up.
You are a beautiful and wonderful being. You are loved. Look around and focus on only those who love you. Forgive those who hurt you. Forget about the past, live in the now, and live the life that you deserve. You are magnificent. All you need to do is to recognize it. Love yourself, love others, and love the higher source. Fill your heart with love until you become a magnet of it. One way for you to fill your heart with love is by counting your blessings. The more you count your blessings, the more you will see that life indeed is precious. When your heart is open to love, you will attract more love into your life.
Building a wonderful relationship takes time. Start with small steps. Every step you take will bring you to where you want to be. Please keep on loving yourself. You can do it! You are incredible! You are magnificent! You are love!
Much Love,
Pichaya
Thursday, July 22, 2010
10 Tips for Online Dating
There are many people using online dating. Some people are successful, become couples, get married, and live happily ever after, but some aren’t. I am one of those successful people! There are 10 tips that I would like to share with you to help you with your success and results that you are looking for.
1. Do your homework
Research and determine which website is best for you. Generally the ones that charge you are better than the free ones. As an old saying that is said “You get what you pay for.”
2. Create an attractive and selective profile
Being attractive means using only positive words on your profile. Adding your sense of humor on your profile is a plus.
Do: I am looking for someone who is honest, spiritual and loves children.
Don’t: If you are not honest and spiritual, and if you do not like children, please don’t bother to respond.
Being selective means you design your profile based on your requirements, needs, and wants in your ideal relationships. Be clear about what you want and don’t want. Writing a profile that will attract fewer, but more qualitative responses is the best approach. Remember, your goal is to attract highly qualified individuals who are in alignment with what you want. If your profile is too vague, too general, or too inclusive, you will have to spend too much time sorting through responses to find those who are more closely matched with you.
3. Post your recent photos
If you do not have your recent photos, please take some. Head shot photos are terrific because people want to see your face, your eyes, and perhaps your smile. People like a smiley face, don’t you think?
4. Be honest and truthful
Being honest is one of important keys in wonderful relationships. If you are honest from the start, you will have a great score! Being honest and truthful for everything you say, you will show others about your values.
5. Limit your personal information on your profile
Being brief, precise, and honest is a great start for your profile. Your long stories are not necessary. Telling others about your past relationships are not necessary at this point. You want to create a wonderful impression when people read your profile. If your profile sounds like a great match for individuals, they will want to get to know you more and contact you.
6. Protect yourself
When signing up for an e-mail account, use your first name only. Leave your last name blank on the form. This will protect you from others to find out more information about you.
7. Give out your phone number
A safe way for you is to provide your cell phone number instead of your home phone number. You can also use skype, yahoo, google, or windows live to talk to the other person. You can even see his/her face if you have a webcam installed on your pc. Those are free. Giving out your cell phone number is to protect yourself until you get to know the other person better.
8. Start talking
You will get a feel when you start talking to someone. You will know by talking to the other person if he/she would be a good match for you. Your next step is meeting in person.
9. Meet in public
Your first meeting face to face will tell you a lot about the other person. Make sure you meet in public. Make sure your friends and relatives know where you are and who you are with.
10. Trust your inner voice
Your inner voice or “intuition” is powerful. Your inner voice, your heart, and your intuition know truth. After reading profiles, responding to e-mails, talking on the phone, and meeting in person, your will have a feeling about it. Your inner voice will tell you.
I hope this helps! Following those tips will help you with your online dating at some degree. Remember, you want a quality person who aligns with your requirements, needs, and wants. Therefore, please be clear about what you want and do not want. You have power to choose and create your own world! Have fun, be positive, and always trust your heart because it knows best!
Love,
Pichaya
1. Do your homework
Research and determine which website is best for you. Generally the ones that charge you are better than the free ones. As an old saying that is said “You get what you pay for.”
2. Create an attractive and selective profile
Being attractive means using only positive words on your profile. Adding your sense of humor on your profile is a plus.
Do: I am looking for someone who is honest, spiritual and loves children.
Don’t: If you are not honest and spiritual, and if you do not like children, please don’t bother to respond.
Being selective means you design your profile based on your requirements, needs, and wants in your ideal relationships. Be clear about what you want and don’t want. Writing a profile that will attract fewer, but more qualitative responses is the best approach. Remember, your goal is to attract highly qualified individuals who are in alignment with what you want. If your profile is too vague, too general, or too inclusive, you will have to spend too much time sorting through responses to find those who are more closely matched with you.
3. Post your recent photos
If you do not have your recent photos, please take some. Head shot photos are terrific because people want to see your face, your eyes, and perhaps your smile. People like a smiley face, don’t you think?
4. Be honest and truthful
Being honest is one of important keys in wonderful relationships. If you are honest from the start, you will have a great score! Being honest and truthful for everything you say, you will show others about your values.
5. Limit your personal information on your profile
Being brief, precise, and honest is a great start for your profile. Your long stories are not necessary. Telling others about your past relationships are not necessary at this point. You want to create a wonderful impression when people read your profile. If your profile sounds like a great match for individuals, they will want to get to know you more and contact you.
6. Protect yourself
When signing up for an e-mail account, use your first name only. Leave your last name blank on the form. This will protect you from others to find out more information about you.
7. Give out your phone number
A safe way for you is to provide your cell phone number instead of your home phone number. You can also use skype, yahoo, google, or windows live to talk to the other person. You can even see his/her face if you have a webcam installed on your pc. Those are free. Giving out your cell phone number is to protect yourself until you get to know the other person better.
8. Start talking
You will get a feel when you start talking to someone. You will know by talking to the other person if he/she would be a good match for you. Your next step is meeting in person.
9. Meet in public
Your first meeting face to face will tell you a lot about the other person. Make sure you meet in public. Make sure your friends and relatives know where you are and who you are with.
10. Trust your inner voice
Your inner voice or “intuition” is powerful. Your inner voice, your heart, and your intuition know truth. After reading profiles, responding to e-mails, talking on the phone, and meeting in person, your will have a feeling about it. Your inner voice will tell you.
I hope this helps! Following those tips will help you with your online dating at some degree. Remember, you want a quality person who aligns with your requirements, needs, and wants. Therefore, please be clear about what you want and do not want. You have power to choose and create your own world! Have fun, be positive, and always trust your heart because it knows best!
Love,
Pichaya
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)