Dear Readers,
A relationship starts with yourself. Before you have a good relationship with someone, it is very important to have a great relationship with yourself. There are at least 10 principles of being and doing in order for you to have wonderful relationships with yourself and others. There are questions for you to ask yourself too. When asking yourself questions, you will find answers.
1. Love
Love yourself. This might seem like an old story being said over and over again. Some people might say “Why do you have to love yourself?” My question to you is “How can you love others if you don’t love yourself first?”
Loving yourself sounds easy, doesn’t it?
* Do you truly love yourself?
* What do you say when you talk to yourself? Do you say “Oh, you are not good enough, or do you say “You are great, incredible, and amazing!”?
* What do you do when you make a mistake? Do you beat yourself up, or do you hold that inner child and say “It is o.k. You made a mistake. I love you anyway. All is well.”?
* What do you do when you love yourself? Do you nurture yourself? Do you eat healthy food for your healthy body or you eat food that is not good for you? Do you take the time for yourself? Do you do what you love to do?
* How do you treat yourself? Do you treat yourself kindly or do you say unkind words to yourself when things do not come your way? Do you allow others to dominate you, or do you stand up for yourself?
2. Accept
Self acceptance is an important key for a wonderful relationship. When you accept yourself as who you are, you are ready to accept others. Self acceptance means you accept yourself no matter what.
* Do you accept yourself the way you look, the way you are, the way you walk, or talk, or whatever that is all about you?
* Do you call yourself names because someone in the past called you those names and you still believe in those thoughts?
* Do you accept yourself right now and say to yourself “I accept me for who I am”?
* How does it feel when you accept yourself?
* What is acceptable or unacceptable for you?
* What can you do to change your attitude toward self acceptance?
3. Appreciate
Appreciation or gratitude is a key to open your heart to love. When you appreciate or are grateful for something or someone, you feel loved, blessed, and happy.
* Do you appreciate yourself for every positive action you do, or do you think that no matter what you do, it’s not good enough?
* What do you most appreciate about yourself, your life, your body, your mind, your being, your feelings, your thoughts and actions?
* What are you grateful for?
4. Trust
Ok. You made mistakes. You had broken hearts. Someone who was supposed to love you did not love you the way you wanted. Someone broke your trust. It is hard for you to learn to trust people because of your past experiences.
* What are you going to do with it?
* Are you willing to hold on to that pain and be miserable for the rest of your life, or let go and move on?
* What would be your benefit of holding on to all the painful past experiences?
* What would be an impact on you or others when you focus on your painful past experiences?
* What choice would you like to make for your own goodness sake?
5. Listen
Listening is love.
* How do you listen to yourself?
* Do you listen to yourself with love or you have your negative opinions about anything you say?
* What happens when you listen to your own inner self (intuition, or your gut)?
* What happens when you do not listen?
6. Be present
To live is to be in the now. When you dwell on the painful past experiences, it brings you pain. When you worry about the future that has not yet arrived, it brings you anxiety. Which way would you like to live your life?
What does it mean to be present? For me, being present is when I put my whole attention on whatever I am doing. For example, when I write, I put all my thoughts, my love, and my awareness into my writing. When I cook, I do not worry about paying bills. When I eat ice cream, my attention is to taste the richness and the sweetness of the ice cream. I am not worrying about my work. I enjoy everything I do at each moment. Every given moment is precious.
There is no past to hold you back. There is no future to worry you. There is only the now. It is the time to be in the moment and embrace this wonderful opportunity to live to the fullest. You deserve it.
7. Be happy
Happiness is a state of mind. It is also a choice. Happiness is a way of life. You have a choice to be happy or miserable about your life, your love, or your relationship no matter what circumstances you are in. Life has ups and downs. You can choose to roll with the punch or you can choose to be rigid or against it. You can choose to accept things the way things are or you can choose to keep arguing about truth. It is all about a choice. It is all about your attitude. What choice would you rather make? What attitude would you rather have?
8. Believe
Belief in yourself is one of the first steps to success. Building your self esteem is very important. Here are some questions for you:
* Do you believe in someone’s negative opinions about you?
* What would be your benefits of believing in those thoughts?
* What would be your benefits for you when you shift your awareness to believing in yourself?
* How would that feel?
* What would be happening when you start to believe in yourself right now?
* What action can you take in order for you to believe in yourself?
9. Give
True love is selfless. It is all about giving. The more you give, the more you get. The secret of getting love is by giving it. When you truly love someone, you would be willing to give unconditionally the other person to what he/she needs.
* What are you willing to give freely and unconditionally to yourself at this very moment?
* What are you willing to give up when you are in a relationship?
* Do you give yourself a chance to be open or do you close yourself up tightly after you experienced your broken heart?
* When you give yourself freedom, what benefit does it bring you?
10. Forgive
This is one of the hardest things to do. I know. It is for your own benefit. Forgiveness sets you free. Forgive yourself and someone who hurt you. By doing so, you do yourself a favor. You are giving yourself a wonderful gift. That gift is freedom! You will be free from pain, anger, hurt, resentment, and all other negative feelings that have been eating you up.
You are a beautiful and wonderful being. You are loved. Look around and focus on only those who love you. Forgive those who hurt you. Forget about the past, live in the now, and live the life that you deserve. You are magnificent. All you need to do is to recognize it. Love yourself, love others, and love the higher source. Fill your heart with love until you become a magnet of it. One way for you to fill your heart with love is by counting your blessings. The more you count your blessings, the more you will see that life indeed is precious. When your heart is open to love, you will attract more love into your life.
Building a wonderful relationship takes time. Start with small steps. Every step you take will bring you to where you want to be. Please keep on loving yourself. You can do it! You are incredible! You are magnificent! You are love!
Much Love,
Pichaya
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