Wednesday, March 14, 2012

13 Ways to Build Trust in a Relationship

Dear Wonderful Readers,

Have you been hurt in the past?

Has someone cheated, lied, or betrayed you?

Do you want to know how to trust again?

The truth is everything starts from within.

If you don't love yourself, how can you love others?

If you don't accept yourself, how can you accept others?

If you don't forgive yourself, how can you forgive others?

If you don't trust yourself, how can you trust others?

It takes time to build trust in a relationship. The question is “How”?

Here is how.

1. Trust Yourself

Trust that you are good enough. Trust that you are worthy of love and capable of loving. Trust that you are in the right place, at the right time, and meet the right people. All of the experiences in the past are your great teachers. Each lesson in life is teach you to become the person you are today. Trust that you deserve to live to the fullest. Trust that you can be, do, and have anything you want. Give yourself that gift of trust. And see what else is there for you to explore.

2. Trust Life

Trust that everything happens for a reason. Life is about loving, living, learning, growing, and becoming who you are here to be—the best you can be. No matter how many challenges you are facing, trust yourself that you can overcome it. Lessons come to you because you need them. Trust in your own abilities to face challenge and solve problems that come. You have that power to create the world you want. When you don't trust life, you live in fears, doubts, and worries. As a result, you limit yourself to receive blessings that come your way. When you trust life, you know that you can survive in any difficult situation. Suffering does not last. Some relationships don't last either. Material things don't last. Your job you have today might not last. What would last forever? It is trust in life and trust in yourself that whatever comes your way, you are able to face it with love, strength, and courage.

3. Trust Others

Often people don't trust others because they have been hurt before. They close their hearts tightly. They hold on to the past events that happened in their lives. They live in fears. When they meet new people, or new opportunities, they remind themselves that they have been hurt in the past and convince themselves that they will get hurt again. Guess what! If you believe that you will get hurt again, you will. You are the one who attract the energy. You are the one who causes it by projecting your own future. You still live in the past and you make your past become your reality. Give yourself a chance to first trust yourself. Then, be open to trust others. Just because you had a broken heart in the past, it does not mean that you would experience it again. Even if you experience it again, there is always a gift behind each experience to teach you to learn more about yourself.

4. Accept Yourself

If you make a mistake in the past, stop beating yourself up. Accept that you made a mistake/ mistakes. We all do them. Cheer up! Hug yourself, love yourself, and nurture yourself. Accept that you can't change the past. Accept that you can't change others. It is hard enough to change yourself, so why bothers thinking about changing others. You can't go back to fix it. Ask yourself “What can I learn from this experience? And What can I do now in order to move forward?” You are a powerful being. Don't allow the negativity thoughts or emotions to control you. You can be liberated from it by accepting yourself completely and love yourself unconditionally. Accept yourself NOW.

5. Be Open & Embrace Life

When you are open to the new, you are more open to trust that life has so much to give you. Life is full of wonder. Explore something new that you have never experienced before. Go out in the word and make new friends. When new people or opportunities come, be open to embrace them. By being open and embracing life you will receive more blessings. It is because we live in an abundance of love. Love comes to you from different directions. You just need to be open your heart and embrace life.

6. Be Patient

It takes time to trust someone. Be patient with yourself. Work on trusting yourself first. Then, trusting others will fall into line.

7. Be Present

No regret from the past. No worries about the future. Be here now. If you have a trust issue from your past relationship, leave it in the past. Everyday is your new day and new beginning. Be here now with the relationship you have. Life is to live in the NOW. Breathe...Feel your heart beat. Treasure this precious moment NOW.

8. Be Aware of Your Surrounding

Surround yourself with positive people. Spend time with those people who truly love you, support you, and want the best for you. They trust in you and your ability to be, to do, and to have anything in life. Avoid those who don't trust in your ability, who look down on you, who are jealous, who are negative, etc. Avoid those people who are not supportive.

9. Be Trustworthy

Live with integrity. Do what you say that you are going to do. Keep being consistent. If you say that you would call him/ her at 6:00pm., then call at 6:00pm. If you promise to show up at a birthday party, then show up at the certain time. There comes a time, when you might not be able to keep your words. Then, that leads you to the next step.

10. Forgive

Forgiveness is a medicine for Soul. It is a healing. If someone broke your trust in the past, it is very important for you to forgive that person. Why? If you still hold on to your past hurt, guess who is hurting? It is you. If you are angry at someone and holding on to that anger, who is hurting? It is you. If you make a mistake, forgive yourself. If someone betrayed, lied, and and cheated on you, forgive yourself for holding on to negative feelings toward those who hurt you. In order for you to move forward, you need to forgive yourself and others for everything that happened to you in the past. You will be liberated by all the negativity, and be ready to take the next step. That is to trust again.

Please read my previous article about "Forgiveness"

11. Ask Yourself “What would love do?”

When you ask yourself that question, you are connecting with truth. With the heart, you are linked up with your higher self which is the pure being; LOVE. With love, you will find truth. When you do things with your whole heart, your whole being, you do the right thing. The right thing is to trust yourself again and again...And again...

12. Be Grateful

Be grateful for each experience you have. Get the most out of it. We learn fast when we face with challenge, disappointment, broken hearts, and hurt. Let your experiences be your best teachers. Without them, you would not have become who you are today. You become wiser and stronger. Most importantly, you become to trust yourself and trust life more. The more grateful you are, the more trust you have in your heart. The more you trust your heart, the more you trust others.

13. Love Yourself

Please read my previous article about “Self Love”.

There is a saying that goes like this: “You can't give away what you don't have.”

If you don't trust yourself, how can you trust others?


Thursday, March 1, 2012

3 Simple Ways of Being to Attract More Love Into Your Life

Hello Wonderful Readers!

I am passionate about sharing love with others.

If you want to attract more love into your life, here are 3 simple ways.

1.Be Love

You are not the body. You are not the mind. You are love.

Do you see the sun? Be like that!

“Be like the sun who always shines and never says “You owe me.”

Love radiates only Love.

Just be love.

2.Be Loving

Ask yourself “What are some characteristics of someone who is loving?” Then, be that!

Is nagging someone called “loving”?
Is complaining about yourself or someone else called “loving”?
Is gossiping called “loving”?
Is judging others called “loving”?
What are you being?
How can you be more loving?

Life does not come your way sometime. Whatever life brings, being loving is a choice. You always have a choice to be loving or the other way around.

It is a choice to be loving be hateful.
It is a choice to forgive vs. to hold on to anger.
It is a choice to be free vs. to be in the prison of the mind.

What choice would you like to make?

3.Be Lovable

What does it mean to be “Loveable”?

You are lovable!

Don't let the mind tell you that you are not. Don't let others tell you that you are not.

If you don't like something about yourself, change it. The first step is to accept your own flaws. Then, admit that you have something to work on. Be kind and gentle with yourself. Whatever it is, forgive yourself. Love yourself completely.


1.What am I feeling?
2.What am I hearing?
3.Who can I give unconditional love to today?

Be love, loving, and lovable. Let your LOVE and LIGHT shine!

Keep on loving! It is very contagious!


Friday, February 24, 2012

3 Simple Ways to Say “No” Gracefully Without Feeling Guilty

Dear Wonderful Readers,

“I am only one, but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something; And because I cannot do everything I will not refuse to do the something that I can do.”
~Helen Keller

Are you someone like me who have a hard time saying “no” to others?

Are you someone like me who love to volunteer and serve your community?

Are you someone like me who love to help everybody in needs?

When someone asks you to do something, whether they are your friends, your parents, your siblings, your relatives, your kids, your husband, or someone you know in your communities such as churches or any kind of organization, you want to help because you have a loving heart. Right? You want to serve because it makes you feel useful. You want to volunteer and give back to life. You want to give because that is the way to live a happy life. It makes you feel very good about living your life on purpose and being there for others.

We are here to serve and love others.

The truth is you can't say “Yes” to everything eventhough your heart wants to serve everybody.

The challenge comes when you need to say “no”.

The question is “How do you say “no” gracefully without feeling guilty?”

Here is how.

1.Thank you for this wonderful opportunity. I would really love to help, but I am not available at this time.
2.Thank you for thinking of me. I can't help this time, but please ask me again in the future. I would love to help when I can.
3.Thank you for asking me. I already have another plan.

Always thank people who ask you to do something. Thank that person sincerely. You are asked to do something because people see you as a loving heart person who wants to serve. Perhaps you are a very easy person to talk to. You have been saying “yes” to everything.

The important key to keep in mind is that you do not owe your explanation to anyone. You have the right to say “no”.

The world does not end when you say “No”. Someone else will take care of situations. It is an opportunity for you to rejuvenate, rest, and get energized.

Guilt is poison. You don't need to feel guilty by saying “no” to others. You can choose to feel good about yourself, stand up for yourself, and take care of yourself. The more you take care of yourself, the bigger room you have for serving others. It is all get away from the crowd for awhile to restore, rejuvenate, and relax.

All is well.

Once you say “no” enough, then, you can go back to say “yes” more. Get some rest! Enjoy your quiet time.

The more you rest, the best serve you can contribute.

Always do everything with love. If you can't put your whole heart into it, don't do it.

It is not an amount of work that counts. It is your amount of love that matters.


Sunday, January 29, 2012


Hello Wonderful Readers!

I have been thinking about what to share with you this week.

Since this month is the beginning of New Year, the word “Change” has been shouting at me.

I have looked back in my life and realized that I have learned many lessons. Yet, there are a lot more to learn and overcome.

When it comes to change, it is tough. However, it is practical and possible once I put the mind into it.

Here is my story.

I was a very wild woman! When I was in college, I smoked one pack of cigarettes a day, I drank alcohol, and went party with boys! * wink* (FYI: I don't do that anymore. Thank God! It feels good to be older!!!)

I am not going to talk about men today, but what I want to share with you is about how I changed one of the habits that did not serve me.

When I was 30, I lost my previous husband who died of lung cancer. He smoked 3 packs a day. I did 1 pack a day.

One day after he died, a friend of mine who was there to help me with my grief process said to me “Do you want to die like James? You have 2 kids to raise!!!”

Do you know what? With her question, I quit smoking instantly!!!

So...what drove me to change my behavior?

It is the love for my kids. My son was only 2 years old and my daughter was 9 months old. When I thought about my kids, their lives, and their well beings, I let go completely and instantly of the smoking habit even though I smoked for 10 years. I never go back.

From that experience, I learned about true love. True love is loving someone more than myself and willing to do anything for the ones I loved.

Thank God for sending my friend to me and giving me the words I needed to hear.

If you want to change something in your life, what would that be?

Whether it is your attitude, relationship, work, or habit, I invite you to ask yourself the questions below.

1.What do I really want to change?
2.Why do I want to change?
3.What strengths do I have to help me in the process of change?
4.How do I cultivate my strengths?
5.What outcome am I wanting to see happen?
6.What one thing do I need to do today in order to change?
7.What am I committed in doing?
8.What attitude do I need to have in order to best support me to achieve the outcome I desire?

With intention, integrity, and inspiration, you can create the life that you want to live!

Have a great day!


Monday, October 17, 2011

How to Have the Relationship You Want

Dear Wonderful Readers,

“If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always gotten.”
~Tony Robbins

If you want to lose 10 lbs, but keep consuming sweets without exercising, how would that behavior help you achieve your goal?

If you want to find your life partner, but you keep repeating the same pattern, how would that help you find the right one?

If you want to find your dream job, but you are still staying at the same place without doing anything about it, how would that lead you to your goal?

To get the result you want, action steps must be made. People who are successful in getting what they want take actions.

I have a permission to share case studies here.

Lin strongly believes in God. She believes and feels that God arranges everything in life. She follows God's guidance in every step in life.
She asked me why she keeps attracting the wrong men in her life. Those men are not available for her. They are either married or they date other people while she dates only one man. As a result, she makes herself unavailable for other potential partners.

A few years ago, she met a man through a friend of her. Her friend introduced her to this man. They never met in person. They had a long distance relationship. They communicated through e-mails and phones. Lin gave all her heart to him while he was dating some other women. He kept telling her that he would come to meet her in person, but it never happened. Lin was in this relationship for over a year. It led her no where. Finally, she realized that it would not work because he never showed up. She decided to break up with him.

After she broke up with that man, she dated another man in her area. He was a married man. He also had a lot of issues. She decided to tell him that she wanted to be friend with him.

Next, she met another man in her area. She had been dating him for five months. Yes, she fell in love with him. Recently he just told Lin that he was unhappily married. He wants to continue having a long term relationship with Lin. So..what did Lin get herself into? She did not know from the beginning that he was married until recently. He fell in love with her too. Is it practical to be involved with a married man? What is she doing?

Another case study, John had been dating Vicki for 15 years while Vicki was dating other men. John was content with this relationship. He felt that having someone is better than having no one at all. This relationship lasted 15 years. It ended because it led John no where.

What insight do you see in these cases?

Here is what Lin and John realized after the coaching with me.

1.Lin realized that she had her pattern. She keeps attracting unavailable men because she wanted to be rescued. She did not want to be alone. She did not have a crystal, clear, and compelling vision. She does not know her relationship requirements.

2.God arranges everything, but it is still up to her to make a choice. She thanked God for sending those men to her. She realized that she needed to learn important lessons; discrimination, standing up for herself, boundaries, communication skills, being the chooser, self love, etc.

3.John was being a person to be chosen. He stayed in his comfort zone without taking any risks to find an ideal relationship. It was better to be with someone than being alone.

If you want something, you need to put an effort into it. Asking God, wishing, dreaming, having vision, and goals are great steps. If you really want the result, there must be actions steps.

Here are some steps to have the relationship you want. I invite you to ask yourself the following questions.

1.What do I really want?

2.Why do I want it? (This must be crystal, clear, and compelling. What are my good reasons?)

3.Imagine having the relationship I want, what would that look like, feel like, and be like?

4.What is stopping me from moving forward? (Fears of rejection, being hurt, abandonment, not good enough, not worhtly of love, failure, success, unknown, etc.)

5.What would be the pay off if I am staying at the same place?

6.What change do I need to make in order to have the relationship I want? (This could be old attitude, beliefs, letting go of fears, improving relationship skills, etc.)

7.What one small step can I take today in order to achieve my goal?

8.What am I committing in doing?

After you ask yourself those question, then, I invite you to take one small change/ action to lead you to where you want to go. Start by taking your first small step. You have the power to change and create a love relationship that you deserve.

You can do it! I believe in you! Go for it!

With Love,

Sunday, July 17, 2011

How to Get What You Want

Dear Wonderful Readers,

What is your biggest dream?

“If you can dream it, you can do it.”
~Walt Disney

I would like to share a story with you.

Once there was a little seven years old Thai girl who dreamed of living in the USA. People laughed at her when she shared her dreams because it was ridiculous to others. She was growing up with poverty. Sometime she did not even have food to eat. She grew up starving. There was no way that the dream of that little girl would come true from other people's perspective. Nothing stopped that little girl to keep on dreaming. When she was 18, she kept dreaming that one day she could be able to speak English so that she could meet with an American man. People around her looked down on her ability to graduate from college. Nothing stopped that young, determined woman. She studied English in college and graduated within three and a half year. Her dream was to be able to speak English so that one day she could meet with her dream man and be able to communicate. When she was 25, she met an American man. She fell in love with him. They got married, had two beautiful children and lived happily ever after until he passed away five years after marriage. (He died 10 years ago and left her with 2 small children...)

The girl in this story was me. My point of telling you this story was to encourage you to dream big. Don't worry about what other people think of you. Don't worry about how ridiculous your dream is. Don't worry about how you are going to achieve it. The most important key is to really know what you truly want, believe in yourself, keep dreaming, focus on what you want, and take actions. The universe will respond to what you. You have to be very clear, specific, determined, and focused.

If you want to find your Ideal Life Partner, you will find that special someone. When you look for him/ her, that person is also searching for you!

The following steps can be applied in any area of your life. It works for me and many people. I get what I want; husband, kids, home, car, job, and friendship. If this can happen to me, it can happen to you too!

Here are some tips on getting what you want.

1.Be crystal clear and specific for what you want
2.Let go of your limiting beliefs
3.Dream big
4.Set Goals
5.Take actions
6.Believe in yourself
7.Be determined and focused on your goal
8.Be detached from the outcome (Focus on your goal. Trust the Divine Spirit to bring you for what you need. If you don't get what you want, it means that it is not meant to be for you. Let it go. Set another goal. There is someone or something greater and the best is yet to come your way!)
9.Enjoy the process
10.Expect miracles!

Here are some inquiries for you:

1.What is your biggest dream right now; dream job, home, place to live, weight, partner, etc.?
2.What is stopping you from getting what you want?
3.What is your action plan?
4.Who are you being? Are you being positive or negative? Are you being optimistic or pessimistic? Are you being motivated or discouraged?
5.What attitude are you having?
6.How committed are you to pursue your dream?
7.What is your next small step to do in order for you to achieve what you want?

Have a great week!

Until next time...


"No Money, No Honey" Is That True?

Dear Wonderful Readers,

Since I was a eighteen, I have heard this quote very often from my male friends. From my personal experience, I am convinced that “No money, no honey” is not true. I have seen a millionaire who is not happy with his life and has no honey. I have seen many men who have no money, but have their honey. Their honey stay with them through good time and bad time. There is such thing call “no money, but have got honey.”

I would love to share with you about my story. This happened in 1995 in Thailand. I met with an American man who I had always dreamed of. I wanted to have an American boyfriend. There he was. We met and fell in love. Then, I asked him to marry me. This might sound strange that a woman asked a man to marry her. Anyway, I did. I asked him to marry me because I loved him and wanted him. Here was what he said “I don’t have money. I don’t have a home in America. I have nothing. I am fat. I am poor. I am old.” He was 12 years older than me. He was over 200 lbs. I said “I don’t care about what you say to yourself. I love you just the way you are. I don’t care you are poor. What I want is you.” He said “I am scared.” He was afraid that I would leave him for someone who had more money. I said “If you love me, that is more than enough. We can survive.” We had that conversation for a long time. Until one day he accepted my proposal. My love was stronger than his fear.

That was not the end of the story. As a Thai woman living in Thailand, in our culture, I must have had an approval from my parents. There was dowry required. The value of a woman depends on how much money a groom would offer to the parents of the bride. Well, my groom at the time had no money. I spoke with my parents. Of course they wanted the dowry that my groom did not have. My father said to me “I will not go to your wedding. You are not my daughter. If you are going to get married with an American, why don’t you get married with someone who had a lot of money.” My groom had nothing, but himself, and I did not care. I wanted his heart and I loved him deeply. Nothing stopped me from being with the man I loved. I decided to have our wedding at a Thai temple without the dowry and without my dad that day. My mother, grandmother, sisters, relatives, and a few friends came to our wedding though which was great.

I did the right thing because I followed my heart. I broke the rule of the Thai society. I left Thailand to the unknown to be with my husband in America. We never had a house. We rented someone’s room. We were homeless a couple times. One time while walking along a street in California, he sang this song “Even though we ain’t got money, I’m so in love with you honey. Everything will bring a chain of love…” All we had was 2 pennies in his pocket. That was it. Yes, we had 2 pennies; no home, no car, no money in the bank account, no credit card, nothing but the love that we had for each other. We did survive! No money, I survive. No love, I would cry or die.

The point of my story is that I would like to share with you hopes, love, and dreams. You deserve to have your woman to love you, cherish you, appreciate you and trust you. You really do. If you are searching for love, don’t give that up. The right person will love and accept you for who you truly are. There are some women who do not care how much money you have in your bank account, how big your house is, or how big your brain or anything else is. Believe in yourself and trust your loving heart. Love will find you and you will find it.

With Love,