Love makes all things beautiful. As a wife and a mother of three, I have been learning a great lesson about true love. Before getting married and before having children, I thought life was all about me. Once I have been giving my life to my family, something significant changed within me. Life has been no longer about “me”, but “we”. Life is all about loving and serving others. Life is about giving and receiving love. There are more than nine principles of true love, but I would love to share with you about what I have been learning. Plus, the number “9” is a great number for the Thai people. Number 9 means moving forward.
1. True love is selfless.
If you truly love someone, you would be willing to give of yourself to him/ her. You would be willing to give what is the most precious thing for you to the other person. You would be willing to give what the other person needs. You would be willing to give up something that is very important to you to give them something that is very important to them. For example, if your boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse loves watching TV, you would let him/her watch TV instead of paying attention to you or helping you do the house chores. If he/she loves going out with friends, you would allow him/ her to be with friends. If he/she has a bad day from work, you would give him/ her attention, care, and ask how he/ she is feeling. You would be willing to listen without judgment, but with love. Giving yourself to your others brings a valuable reward. It makes you happy. It brings you joy.
2. True love is unconditional.
If you truly love someone, you would let the other person be and not try to change him/her. You would give without expecting things in return. You would accept the other person for who she/he is. You would forgive the other person when the other person hurts your feelings. You would let go of your ego and be humble to true love.
3. True love is nurturing.
If you truly love someone, you would nurture him/her. How do you nurture? If you are a parent, you would know how to nurture your baby by holding, kissing, hugging, or singing lullabies. If you are a plant lover, you would know how to nurture your plant by watering it. If you are a pet lover, you would pet it, or even kiss it. If you have a boyfriend/ girlfriend, you would express your care by spending time together, doing something fun together, supporting, kissing, touching, etc. If you have a spouse, you would keep on loving by doing small things each day to let your spouse know how much you care, love, appreciate, admire, and adore him/her. We all are human beings. Basic human needs are to love and to be loved, to be appreciated, and to be wanted. In summary, you will never want to take your loved ones for granted. You would express your love in anyway you can to let the other person know how much you care.
4. True love is patient.
If you truly love someone, you would be patient with him/her. This is an ongoing lesson for many people. I know. It takes practice. How do you practice being patient? Here are some questions for you to ask yourself when things don’t come your way.
* What am I impatient about?
* How does being impatient help me?
* What makes me feel impatient?
* What is it about this person/ situation that I don’t like? Do I see my own reflection in the other person?
* What can I do to make me feel at peace?
* What would be my best solution right now to solve this problem?
* What attitude do I need to change in order to help me see and feel better about the person or situation?
* What is the benefit of holding on to the ideas of how things should be?
* What would be my great benefit to allow the process to be and to accept things/people the way they are?
5. True love is understanding.
If you truly love someone, you would learn to understand the other person by putting yourself in his/her shoes. It is hard to imagine yourself in someone’s shoes. When you practice this principle, you will learn not to judge people. You will learn to understand the other person. For example, if your girlfriend, boyfriend, or spouse wants to go out with his/her friend, but you want him/her to stay with you and spend time with you, practice putting yourself in his/her shoes and imagine how you would feel when you want to do something you love, but your loved one is holding you back and not letting you go. What kind of love is that? Would you allow the other person to have freedom and do what the other person likes to do? Learning to understand someone’s needs is an art of being loving.
6. True love is loving what is.
If you truly love someone, you would be loving what is. You would accept the other person for who he/she is. You would not try to change the other person. It is impossible to change the other person anyway. The one thing that you can change is your attitude to accept things the way things are.
7. True love is inspiring.
If you truly love someone, you would inspire him/her by being your authentic self. Being your authentic self brings about love and beauty. You would build, uplift, and inspire others. Being inspiring means being in Spirit. That Spirit is you; your true being, your pure being, your beautiful, and magnificent being.
8. True love is present.
If you truly love someone, you would be present with the other person. Being present means you are embracing each and every moment with him/her. You would not think about the past or the future, but the now. You would be fully in the present moment and enjoy each moment of your life with the other person.
9. True love is eternal.
Love has always been here. Love never dies. It is this love that sustains all life. It is this love that makes all things beautiful. It is this love that is within each one of us, every breath we take, and every moment we live. It is the Divine love that is so beautiful, unconditional, immeasurable, sweet, present, inspiring, and eternal. Feel that love in your heart and give it to the world around you. Know that you are here because you are loved. You have always been loved. And you will always be loved...
With Love and Gratitude,
Pichaya
It is wonderful
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