Seven Tips for Forgiveness

Dear Wonderful Readers,

What does it take to forgive someone who HURT you? Why forgive them at all? Forgiveness is one of the greatest gifts that you can give to yourself. You do it for YOU, not for anyone else. Think about when you hold on to the thoughts of someone who hurt you, how does it make you feel? Think about when you let go of all the painful past experience in life, how does it make you feel?

There are many people who have been abused or hurt in life. I once was one of them. It is very painful, so painful and hurting that the abused ended up hating the abuser, himself/herself or others, even innocent people. When abused, the mind of the abused becomes a breeding ground for prejudice, hate, hurt, closed heart and other negative traits. In some cases, the abused may feel hurt physically, verbally, mentally, emotionally, psychologically and even spiritually. Though a bad and sad encounter, there's always something to learn for the duo. This is a situation that impels the abused to ask, “Why me?”

From my personal experience, forgiveness sets me free. Forgiveness brings me love, peace, and joy in my heart. I would love to share some tips with you about how to forgive.

1. Love yourself

Be kind and gentle with yourself. Take good care of your body, think good thoughts, and live in spirit. You are a spirit. You are love. Stop beating yourself up from all those past hurts. Nurture yourself with love and care. Eat healthy food. Exercise. Do things that bring you joy, peace, and love. Look in the mirror and say “I love you.”

2. Look at life in perspective

Life is a precious gift. Every problem that comes in life is a great gift. Why? It is for each one of us to learn, grow, and become stronger. In truth, it is for all of us to learn how to love, accept, trust, and forgive ourselves. Look back and see everyone who has come into your life as your teacher. When someone hurt you, see the lesson behind it. You might be learning about forgiveness and compassion or love. You might be learning about who you truly are. You might be learning about making choices to choose how you think, act, and say and learn discrimination. You might be learning about being in the moment. When you put things in perspective and see the person who hurt you gave you as a gift of truth for you to learn more about yourself, you will be at peace.

3. Be in the present moment

Stop thinking about the past. When you think about your old hurts in the past, you make the stories become alive. Thoughts are real. Thoughts are energy. The more you think about negative thoughts, the more you give them energy. Focusing your thoughts on the past feeds the demons by giving them your attention. The result is that you create your own hurt by thinking about it. You cannot fix the past. You are here now. The incident is over. Start your new day and create your new picture. You are a creator of your own world. Think about what you want to create at this moment. The incident is not happening now. It is all in the past. Focus on your present. Take a couple of deep breaths, inhale, hold your breath, and let go. When you breathe in, feel the love that surrounds you. Allow yourself to truly feel that love within yourself too. When you exhale, allow your old hurts to leave you. Let it go, let it go, and let it go. Be at peace with yourself and feel that love in your heart at the very present moment.


4. Control your thoughts

When negative thoughts show up, acknowledge it. Then, ask yourself the following questions.
* Why am I thinking about this?
* Am I in the past or in the now?
* What is the benefit of holding on to this thought?
* What is the benefit of letting go of this thought?
* What choice do I want to make to bring me at peace?
You have the power to control your thoughts. It takes practice. You can do it!

5. Let go of your anger

Writing and meditating are great ways of letting go of anger. Releasing your anger through writing will help you let go of your anger. You can write an angry letter to someone who hurt you, but don’t mail it. It is not necessary. You might want to even burn it. Then, let go. Meditation is really a great way to bring you to focus on the present. When you are in the present, it brings you love, peace, and joy in your heart.

6. Choose to be, do and have

Forgiveness is a choice. You can choose to be angry, or loving. You can choose holding on or letting go. You can choose to be happy or sad. You can choose to be stuck or free. You can choose to have anger or love in your heart. You can create the world you want. You have the power within you.

7. Get help

It can be difficult to forget about the painful past and forgive those who hurt you. Find help and the support you need. Meeting with a therapist, friend, or coach might help you with letting go of your old hurts on a deeper level. Talking out your pain with someone who loves you and isn’t going to judge you will help. You deserve to have a happy life. You really do.

Forgiveness is another form of love. You give yourself a great gift by forgiving those who hurt you. You free yourself from hurt, anger and resentment. You are in this present moment. It is the moment for you to move forward. It is the moment for you to be in a new place where it is brighter, happier, and more beautiful. It is the moment for you to be free!

With Gratitude and Love,

Pichaya