Nine Principles of True Love

Dear Readers,

Love makes all things beautiful. As a wife and a mother of three, I have been learning a great lesson about true love. Before getting married and before having children, I thought life was all about me. Once I have been giving my life to my family, something significant changed within me. Life has been no longer about “me”, but “we”. Life is all about loving and serving others. Life is about giving and receiving love. There are more than nine principles of true love, but I would love to share with you about what I have been learning. Plus, the number “9” is a great number for the Thai people. Number 9 means moving forward.

1. True love is selfless.

If you truly love someone, you would be willing to give of yourself to him/ her. You would be willing to give what is the most precious thing for you to the other person. You would be willing to give what the other person needs. You would be willing to give up something that is very important to you to give them something that is very important to them. For example, if your boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse loves watching TV, you would let him/her watch TV instead of paying attention to you or helping you do the house chores. If he/she loves going out with friends, you would allow him/ her to be with friends. If he/she has a bad day from work, you would give him/ her attention, care, and ask how he/ she is feeling. You would be willing to listen without judgment, but with love. Giving yourself to your others brings a valuable reward. It makes you happy. It brings you joy.

2. True love is unconditional.

If you truly love someone, you would let the other person be and not try to change him/her. You would give without expecting things in return. You would accept the other person for who she/he is. You would forgive the other person when the other person hurts your feelings. You would let go of your ego and be humble to true love.

3. True love is nurturing.

If you truly love someone, you would nurture him/her. How do you nurture? If you are a parent, you would know how to nurture your baby by holding, kissing, hugging, or singing lullabies. If you are a plant lover, you would know how to nurture your plant by watering it. If you are a pet lover, you would pet it, or even kiss it. If you have a boyfriend/ girlfriend, you would express your care by spending time together, doing something fun together, supporting, kissing, touching, etc. If you have a spouse, you would keep on loving by doing small things each day to let your spouse know how much you care, love, appreciate, admire, and adore him/her. We all are human beings. Basic human needs are to love and to be loved, to be appreciated, and to be wanted. In summary, you will never want to take your loved ones for granted. You would express your love in anyway you can to let the other person know how much you care.

4. True love is patient.

If you truly love someone, you would be patient with him/her. This is an ongoing lesson for many people. I know. It takes practice. How do you practice being patient? Here are some questions for you to ask yourself when things don’t come your way.
* What am I impatient about?
* How does being impatient help me?
* What makes me feel impatient?
* What is it about this person/ situation that I don’t like? Do I see my own reflection in the other person?
* What can I do to make me feel at peace?
* What would be my best solution right now to solve this problem?
* What attitude do I need to change in order to help me see and feel better about the person or situation?
* What is the benefit of holding on to the ideas of how things should be?
* What would be my great benefit to allow the process to be and to accept things/people the way they are?

5. True love is understanding.

If you truly love someone, you would learn to understand the other person by putting yourself in his/her shoes. It is hard to imagine yourself in someone’s shoes. When you practice this principle, you will learn not to judge people. You will learn to understand the other person. For example, if your girlfriend, boyfriend, or spouse wants to go out with his/her friend, but you want him/her to stay with you and spend time with you, practice putting yourself in his/her shoes and imagine how you would feel when you want to do something you love, but your loved one is holding you back and not letting you go. What kind of love is that? Would you allow the other person to have freedom and do what the other person likes to do? Learning to understand someone’s needs is an art of being loving.

6. True love is loving what is.

If you truly love someone, you would be loving what is. You would accept the other person for who he/she is. You would not try to change the other person. It is impossible to change the other person anyway. The one thing that you can change is your attitude to accept things the way things are.

7. True love is inspiring.

If you truly love someone, you would inspire him/her by being your authentic self. Being your authentic self brings about love and beauty. You would build, uplift, and inspire others. Being inspiring means being in Spirit. That Spirit is you; your true being, your pure being, your beautiful, and magnificent being.

8. True love is present.

If you truly love someone, you would be present with the other person. Being present means you are embracing each and every moment with him/her. You would not think about the past or the future, but the now. You would be fully in the present moment and enjoy each moment of your life with the other person.

9. True love is eternal.

Love has always been here. Love never dies. It is this love that sustains all life. It is this love that makes all things beautiful. It is this love that is within each one of us, every breath we take, and every moment we live. It is the Divine love that is so beautiful, unconditional, immeasurable, sweet, present, inspiring, and eternal. Feel that love in your heart and give it to the world around you. Know that you are here because you are loved. You have always been loved. And you will always be loved...

With Love and Gratitude,
Pichaya

Are You Ready for Love?

Relationship Readiness Quiz will help you level of readiness for love… It is a kind of love that is deep, long lasting and fulfilling.

To assess your readiness for a committed relationship, rate yourself in each of the following ten areas. Try to be objective and honest with yourself.

Rating Scale: Rate each item on a scale from 0 to 10

8-10: Good; this area of my life is strong and would be an asset to my next relationship
5-7: OK; this area needs work, but most likely would not sabotage my next relationship
0-4: Needs Work; this area could interfere with the success of my next relationship

1. I know what I want have a clear vision for my relationship. I can envision my perfect relationship in rich detail that feels strong, very real and keeps me motivated.

2. I know my requirements. I have a written list of at least ten non-negotiable requirements that I use for screening potential partners. I am clear that if any are missing, a relationship will not work for me.

3. I am happy and successful being single. I enjoy my life, my work, my family, my friends and my own company. I am living the life that I want and I am not seeking a relationship out of desperation and need.

4. I am satisfied with my work/career. My work is fulfilling, supports my lifestyle and does not interfere with my availability to build a new relationship.

5. I am ready and available for commitment. I have no emotional or legal baggage from a previous relationship. My schedule, commitments and lifestyle allow my availability to build a new relationship.

6. I am healthy in mind, body and spirit. My physical, mental or emotional health does not interfere with having the life and relationship that I want. I am reasonably happy and feel good.

7. My financial and legal business is handled. I have no financial or legal issues that would interfere with having the life and the relationship I want.

8. My family relationships are functional. My relationship with my children, ex, siblings, parents and extended family do not interfere with having the life and relationship that I want.

9. I have effective dating skills. I initiate contact with people I want to meet and disengage from people who are not a match for me. I keep my physical and emotional boundaries and balance my heart with my head with potential partners.

10. I have effective relationship skills. I understand relationships, can maintain closeness and intimacy, communicate authentically and assertively negotiate differences positively, allow myself to trust and be vulnerable and can give and receive love without emotional barriers.


Score Results:

80 - 100: Green Light You are well on your way to the life and the relationship you really want.
50 - 79: Yellow Light Continue to work on the areas needed and take it slow in relationships whole doing so.
0 - 49: Red Light Take a break from seeking a partner, focus on your life and prepare for the relationship you really want

© Relationship Coaching Institute
Used with permission

Principles for Conscious Dating Success

1. Know who you are and what you want - Endeavoring to partner when you don't know who you are or what you want is like trying to find the match to a pair of shoes you haven't seen yet.

2. Learn how to get what you want - Learn information, tools, and skills you will need to find your true love. Develop creative strategies and action plans. Don't leave things to chance.

3. Be the Chooser - Take initiative and responsibility for your outcomes. Don't react to what, or who, chooses you. Seek to create what you want in your life.

4. Balance your heart with your head- Make your relationship choices consciously. It's still exciting!

5. Be ready and available for commitment - Know the difference between dating for fun and dating for partnering. Complete business from any old relationships before dating seriously.

6. Use the Law of Attraction - Become the kind of person you want to attract by developing yourself and living the life that you want. Do you have the traits you desire in a partner?

7. Gain relationship knowledge and skills - Prepare for the love of your life by learning how relationships work, improving your relationship skills, and deepening your relationships with your family, friends, and colleagues. Date for fun and practice. Take relationship classes and workshops.

8. Create a support community - Isolated singles become lonely in their relationships when they focus on a partner to meet all their social and emotional needs. Having a strong community of friends is the best indication that you are ready for serious dating.

9. Practice assertiveness - Ask for what you want and say no to what you don't want with equal zeal.

10. Be a Successful Single - Don't put your life on hold waiting for a relationship to happen. The best way to find your life partner is to be a happy, successful single person living the life that you really want.

© Relationship Coaching Institute
Used with permission