Dear Wonderful Readers,
What does it take to forgive someone who HURT you? Why forgive them at all? Forgiveness is one of the greatest gifts that you can give to yourself. You do it for YOU, not for anyone else. Think about when you hold on to the thoughts of someone who hurt you, how does it make you feel? Think about when you let go of all the painful past experience in life, how does it make you feel?
There are many people who have been abused or hurt in life. I once was one of them. It is very painful, so painful and hurting that the abused ended up hating the abuser, himself/herself or others, even innocent people. When abused, the mind of the abused becomes a breeding ground for prejudice, hate, hurt, closed heart and other negative traits. In some cases, the abused may feel hurt physically, verbally, mentally, emotionally, psychologically and even spiritually. Though a bad and sad encounter, there's always something to learn for the duo. This is a situation that impels the abused to ask, “Why me?”
From my personal experience, forgiveness sets me free. Forgiveness brings me love, peace, and joy in my heart. I would love to share some tips with you about how to forgive.
1. Love yourself
Be kind and gentle with yourself. Take good care of your body, think good thoughts, and live in spirit. You are a spirit. You are love. Stop beating yourself up from all those past hurts. Nurture yourself with love and care. Eat healthy food. Exercise. Do things that bring you joy, peace, and love. Look in the mirror and say “I love you.”
2. Look at life in perspective
Life is a precious gift. Every problem that comes in life is a great gift. Why? It is for each one of us to learn, grow, and become stronger. In truth, it is for all of us to learn how to love, accept, trust, and forgive ourselves. Look back and see everyone who has come into your life as your teacher. When someone hurt you, see the lesson behind it. You might be learning about forgiveness and compassion or love. You might be learning about who you truly are. You might be learning about making choices to choose how you think, act, and say and learn discrimination. You might be learning about being in the moment. When you put things in perspective and see the person who hurt you gave you as a gift of truth for you to learn more about yourself, you will be at peace.
3. Be in the present moment
Stop thinking about the past. When you think about your old hurts in the past, you make the stories become alive. Thoughts are real. Thoughts are energy. The more you think about negative thoughts, the more you give them energy. Focusing your thoughts on the past feeds the demons by giving them your attention. The result is that you create your own hurt by thinking about it. You cannot fix the past. You are here now. The incident is over. Start your new day and create your new picture. You are a creator of your own world. Think about what you want to create at this moment. The incident is not happening now. It is all in the past. Focus on your present. Take a couple of deep breaths, inhale, hold your breath, and let go. When you breathe in, feel the love that surrounds you. Allow yourself to truly feel that love within yourself too. When you exhale, allow your old hurts to leave you. Let it go, let it go, and let it go. Be at peace with yourself and feel that love in your heart at the very present moment.
4. Control your thoughts
When negative thoughts show up, acknowledge it. Then, ask yourself the following questions.
* Why am I thinking about this?
* Am I in the past or in the now?
* What is the benefit of holding on to this thought?
* What is the benefit of letting go of this thought?
* What choice do I want to make to bring me at peace?
You have the power to control your thoughts. It takes practice. You can do it!
5. Let go of your anger
Writing and meditating are great ways of letting go of anger. Releasing your anger through writing will help you let go of your anger. You can write an angry letter to someone who hurt you, but don’t mail it. It is not necessary. You might want to even burn it. Then, let go. Meditation is really a great way to bring you to focus on the present. When you are in the present, it brings you love, peace, and joy in your heart.
6. Choose to be, do and have
Forgiveness is a choice. You can choose to be angry, or loving. You can choose holding on or letting go. You can choose to be happy or sad. You can choose to be stuck or free. You can choose to have anger or love in your heart. You can create the world you want. You have the power within you.
7. Get help
It can be difficult to forget about the painful past and forgive those who hurt you. Find help and the support you need. Meeting with a therapist, friend, or coach might help you with letting go of your old hurts on a deeper level. Talking out your pain with someone who loves you and isn’t going to judge you will help. You deserve to have a happy life. You really do.
Forgiveness is another form of love. You give yourself a great gift by forgiving those who hurt you. You free yourself from hurt, anger and resentment. You are in this present moment. It is the moment for you to move forward. It is the moment for you to be in a new place where it is brighter, happier, and more beautiful. It is the moment for you to be free!
With Gratitude and Love,
Pichaya
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Friday, September 3, 2010
Ten Ways to Open Your Heart to Love
Dear Wonderful Readers,
What is life all about? Why are we here? For me, what I have experienced is that I am here to learn how to give and receive love. I am here to be of service to others. If life is about giving and receiving love, what is the point of having a relationship with someone, fall in love, then experience heart broken, dealing with challenges, problems, obstacles, pain, sorrow, grief, regret, etc. Life is teaching us how to find love within ourselves, keep our hearts open, and know that the best is yet to come. When situation in life does not come your way, if you can put it in perspective and see it in a bigger picture, you will realize that there is a reason behind everything. There is a specific lesson that you are supposed to learn from every experience in life. All experiences in life teach you how to find your true self. All experiences in life teach you how to love, accept, trust, and forgive yourself. All experiences in life teach you how to open your heart to love.
What do you do when you experience a broken heart, getting hurt, or facing disappointments? Some of us close ourselves up because we are fear to be hurt again. Some of us can move on with ease. There are at least ten ways to help you open your heart again. I have been practicing them and would like to share with you.
1. Do what you love and love what you do
*What makes you heart sing?
Find the time to do something that you love. Give that special time for yourself and connect with your authentic, true self who has an ability to give love, receive and be love. For example, reading, writing, cooking, talking to friends, walking in the woods, working in your garden, going to the beach, etc. When you do something that you love, your heart opens for more love to enter and more love to give.
2. Do something for someone without any expectations
*What would be a kind deed, thought, or speech that you would like to give to someone without expectations?
*How would that make the other person feel when he/she receive an act of kindness from you?
*How would that make you feel when you do something kind to others?
For me, it does not have to be a big, grand action, but small things with great love. For example, I walk my dog regularly because I love her. I do it just for her because I know she loves going out and it is good for her. When she is happy, it makes me happy. Making someone happy keeps my heart glowing, dancing, and expanding to more love. My other favorite things to do are to open doors for someone wherever I go, smile at people who walk by, wave to my neighbors, say “hi” to people who pass by while I walk my dog, etc. You will feel the love in your heart that you give out because what goes around comes around.
3. Think happy thoughts
*What brings you a smile when you think about it?
Have you ever heard of the “Law of Attraction”? Like attracts like. Love attract love. Hate attract hate.
When you think of happy thoughts, some happy things start to show up in your life.
When you think of sad thoughts, sad incidents start to show up in your life. When you think of someone or your old friend, that person would call you or e-mail you, etc. Thoughts are energy and so are you. Be aware of what you are thinking about because you will receive whatever you think about. If you want happiness, then, think of happiness. If you want to have love in your heart, then, think about love. If you want peace, then, think about peace, etc. When you think of happy thoughts, your heart will be filled with love and happiness. Your heart will smile and be ready to open up again.
4. Embrace life and say “yes” to it
*What happens when you embrace life?
*What happens when you don’t?
When an opportunity is presented to you, what do you with it? When a new friend, relationship or job appears in your life, how do you embrace it? Are you accepting with grace or running away from it?
If you say “no” to life, think about how many opportunities and lessons in life you will miss. Think about what you might miss in order for you to learn, grow and become strong. Life is growth. As long as you live, you will continue to grow.
Take risks, get out of your comfort zone, stretch your muscles, and say “yes” to life. I would also recommend you to see the movie “Yes Man!” with Jim Carrey. It is a great movie for all of us to learn how to listen to our hearts and say “Yes” to life.
If you say “yes” to life, you will learn to find your true self who is unlimited, incredible and bold. You will learn that you can indeed do anything that you want to do and be anything you want to be. You have that power within you. It is a matter of taking action and accepting all opportunities that come. The important key is to always listen to your heart or your inner voice because it always speaks the truth. Say “yes” to what you want and say “no” to what you do not want.
*What is holding you back from being open or embracing life?
A typical answer would be “I am afraid of….” Yes, it is good to acknowledge the fear. It is indeed good for you. It is healthy. It can help you build confidence when you move past your fear to the other side. You will be proud of yourself that you actually overcame it. The key is to fill your heart with love. With love you can do anything!
Although things may seem to be difficult at the moment, allow yourself to be who you truly are and tap into the power within. Go beyond the limitation. Feel and experience the limitless within you. You will be amazed with yourself that in truth anything is possible when you allow yourself to be who you truly are -- the unlimited!
You are unlimited. Why limit yourself? Be open, say “yes” to life and see what life might bring for you.
5. See the best in every person, every situation, every opportunity and every moment
*What do you see in your life right now that is a great opportunity for you to grow?
*What is your life teaching you?
When you see things in perspective, it helps you widen your perception. You see things in a bigger picture. Instead of beating yourself up, blaming yourself or others about your past mistake, practice seeing the lesson behind your experience. What does life teach you? When you see the best in everything and everyone, you are more likely to see the best in yourself. When you see things in a bigger picture, your heart is more likely to accept what life might bring and be more open to love.
6. Practice controlling your breathing, meditation, or contemplation
*What helps you be at peace?
Controlling your breathing, meditation, or contemplation helps you connect to your true being. As many of you may have heard, we are spiritual beings living in human bodies. Each one of us has the inner voice that always speaks the truth. Practice controlling your breathing, meditation or contemplation. This will help you still your mind and be in touch with who you truly are. It will bring you love, peace, and even heal your broken heart. When you listen to the mind instead of your own heart, it stops you. It stops you from seeing truth. It stops you from being your authentic, true self. It stops you from feeling that love within you. It blocks you from opening your heart. Your true nature is love. Love is what you are.
Close your eyes, still your mind and practice your breathing. Take deep breaths, hold them, and let go slowly. Let go of all your hurts, worries, doubts, and fears. Be in the moment of your breathing. You are breathing love in and letting love out. You are conscious of your state at the moment. It is a state of being in love. Keep practicing that for about 15-20 minutes a day and you will see the result. You will feel at peace and find love there.
Control your mind. Do not let the mind control you.
7. Be grateful for everything
*What are you grateful for today?
*What blessings have you been receiving since you were born until now?
*What are the blessings that make you feel loved, accepted and special?
Start counting you blessings today. You will be amazed that indeed you are very blessed.
Are you still breathing? You are alive! You have eyes to see, ears to hear, mouth to eat, nose to smell beautiful roses, hands to touch things or hold people, you even have six sense and your heart is still beating!!! You might not have what your neighbors have; dream mate, children, dream job, dream car, money, etc., but you do have you, the wonderful, incredible you!
What are you grateful for? Do you have your journal that you can write down your list? When you write things down, it helps you see things clearly. At the moment, you might not feel grateful. If you pick up a pen and start jotting it down, going through all of the wonderful things that you are grateful for in your life, you will be surprised. Think about someone in the past who came into your life and taught you something -- whether it was your parents, siblings, spouse, children, teachers, friends, coworkers, boss, neighbors, strangers or even your ex, etc.. What did you learn from them? What specific lesson was it that each of those people taught you and brought you to be the person you are today?
I count my blessings everyday before going to bed and when I wake up each morning. I thank the Higher Power for the gift of life. I thank my spouse and my children for being in my life. I thank all my friends and everyone for being in my life. I thank my dog for teaching me how to love unconditionally. I thank every situation, every experience, and every challenge to help me grow. I thank the sun for shining. I thank the beautiful green trees for their beauty. I thank the rain for pouring on all those trees. I can go on with my endless list. The more I count my blessings, the more love comes into my heart.
Sometime when life does not come our way, we get frustrated, disappointed, and close our hearts. If you start to look at life in perspective, you will see that indeed life is teaching you to learn how to love you. Life is teaching you how to find yourself and find that love within you. When you are grateful for life and everything, you heart will start opening. That is the secret. Count your blessings today and feel your heart expand!
Life is a precious gift. Don’t take it for granted.
8. Be in the now
*Where are your thoughts right now?
If you are reading this article, you are here and now. If your eyes are looking at this article, but your mind is somewhere else, you are not being present.
Some of us or most of us spend too much time dwelling in the past thinking about how happy you were when you were in your past relationship, how sad it was to break up, how our bodies used to look like when we were younger, how you enjoyed your moment with someone, but now it is all gone, how much you regret, etc. When you think about the past, you live in the past. You are not here. You cannot go forward when you live in the past. Let go of your past. Let it go. It is over. Don’t worry about the future either. There is neither past, nor future, but the now. Every moment of your life is in the now.
9. Be loving
*How can you attract love if you are not being loving?
Be loving by giving love to yourself. Fill your heart with love by thinking of happy thoughts, letting go of your old hurts, limiting negative beliefs and seeing who you are right now. When you are loving, you allow love to enter. When you feel loving, you are tending to be more open to possibilities. You are willing to give. When you give and whatever you give out, it all comes back to you.
Practice being loving by looking at yourself in the mirror and say “ I love you. You are incredible. You are a happy being. You are loving and lovable.” When you love, trust, accept and forgive yourself, you will become more loving. Give unconditional love to yourself. Feel that love and be it.
10. Be yourself
*Who are you really?
Spend time discovering yourself. You are the creator of your own world. You can do or be anything you want to do and be. The key is to tap into that power within and to start to act now. Discover the real, authentic you. Discover the loving you who has a beautiful heart that is filled with so much love, joy, and peace. You inspire others. You are beautiful. You are love. Be yourself and be love. Then, you will attract love into your life. You become a magnet of love.
Open your heart again. Let the love come in. Fill your heart with it and give it to those who needs it. You are incredible! The world does not need your suffering, but your love. You are love.
With Love and Gratitude,
Pichaya
What is life all about? Why are we here? For me, what I have experienced is that I am here to learn how to give and receive love. I am here to be of service to others. If life is about giving and receiving love, what is the point of having a relationship with someone, fall in love, then experience heart broken, dealing with challenges, problems, obstacles, pain, sorrow, grief, regret, etc. Life is teaching us how to find love within ourselves, keep our hearts open, and know that the best is yet to come. When situation in life does not come your way, if you can put it in perspective and see it in a bigger picture, you will realize that there is a reason behind everything. There is a specific lesson that you are supposed to learn from every experience in life. All experiences in life teach you how to find your true self. All experiences in life teach you how to love, accept, trust, and forgive yourself. All experiences in life teach you how to open your heart to love.
What do you do when you experience a broken heart, getting hurt, or facing disappointments? Some of us close ourselves up because we are fear to be hurt again. Some of us can move on with ease. There are at least ten ways to help you open your heart again. I have been practicing them and would like to share with you.
1. Do what you love and love what you do
*What makes you heart sing?
Find the time to do something that you love. Give that special time for yourself and connect with your authentic, true self who has an ability to give love, receive and be love. For example, reading, writing, cooking, talking to friends, walking in the woods, working in your garden, going to the beach, etc. When you do something that you love, your heart opens for more love to enter and more love to give.
2. Do something for someone without any expectations
*What would be a kind deed, thought, or speech that you would like to give to someone without expectations?
*How would that make the other person feel when he/she receive an act of kindness from you?
*How would that make you feel when you do something kind to others?
For me, it does not have to be a big, grand action, but small things with great love. For example, I walk my dog regularly because I love her. I do it just for her because I know she loves going out and it is good for her. When she is happy, it makes me happy. Making someone happy keeps my heart glowing, dancing, and expanding to more love. My other favorite things to do are to open doors for someone wherever I go, smile at people who walk by, wave to my neighbors, say “hi” to people who pass by while I walk my dog, etc. You will feel the love in your heart that you give out because what goes around comes around.
3. Think happy thoughts
*What brings you a smile when you think about it?
Have you ever heard of the “Law of Attraction”? Like attracts like. Love attract love. Hate attract hate.
When you think of happy thoughts, some happy things start to show up in your life.
When you think of sad thoughts, sad incidents start to show up in your life. When you think of someone or your old friend, that person would call you or e-mail you, etc. Thoughts are energy and so are you. Be aware of what you are thinking about because you will receive whatever you think about. If you want happiness, then, think of happiness. If you want to have love in your heart, then, think about love. If you want peace, then, think about peace, etc. When you think of happy thoughts, your heart will be filled with love and happiness. Your heart will smile and be ready to open up again.
4. Embrace life and say “yes” to it
*What happens when you embrace life?
*What happens when you don’t?
When an opportunity is presented to you, what do you with it? When a new friend, relationship or job appears in your life, how do you embrace it? Are you accepting with grace or running away from it?
If you say “no” to life, think about how many opportunities and lessons in life you will miss. Think about what you might miss in order for you to learn, grow and become strong. Life is growth. As long as you live, you will continue to grow.
Take risks, get out of your comfort zone, stretch your muscles, and say “yes” to life. I would also recommend you to see the movie “Yes Man!” with Jim Carrey. It is a great movie for all of us to learn how to listen to our hearts and say “Yes” to life.
If you say “yes” to life, you will learn to find your true self who is unlimited, incredible and bold. You will learn that you can indeed do anything that you want to do and be anything you want to be. You have that power within you. It is a matter of taking action and accepting all opportunities that come. The important key is to always listen to your heart or your inner voice because it always speaks the truth. Say “yes” to what you want and say “no” to what you do not want.
*What is holding you back from being open or embracing life?
A typical answer would be “I am afraid of….” Yes, it is good to acknowledge the fear. It is indeed good for you. It is healthy. It can help you build confidence when you move past your fear to the other side. You will be proud of yourself that you actually overcame it. The key is to fill your heart with love. With love you can do anything!
Although things may seem to be difficult at the moment, allow yourself to be who you truly are and tap into the power within. Go beyond the limitation. Feel and experience the limitless within you. You will be amazed with yourself that in truth anything is possible when you allow yourself to be who you truly are -- the unlimited!
You are unlimited. Why limit yourself? Be open, say “yes” to life and see what life might bring for you.
5. See the best in every person, every situation, every opportunity and every moment
*What do you see in your life right now that is a great opportunity for you to grow?
*What is your life teaching you?
When you see things in perspective, it helps you widen your perception. You see things in a bigger picture. Instead of beating yourself up, blaming yourself or others about your past mistake, practice seeing the lesson behind your experience. What does life teach you? When you see the best in everything and everyone, you are more likely to see the best in yourself. When you see things in a bigger picture, your heart is more likely to accept what life might bring and be more open to love.
6. Practice controlling your breathing, meditation, or contemplation
*What helps you be at peace?
Controlling your breathing, meditation, or contemplation helps you connect to your true being. As many of you may have heard, we are spiritual beings living in human bodies. Each one of us has the inner voice that always speaks the truth. Practice controlling your breathing, meditation or contemplation. This will help you still your mind and be in touch with who you truly are. It will bring you love, peace, and even heal your broken heart. When you listen to the mind instead of your own heart, it stops you. It stops you from seeing truth. It stops you from being your authentic, true self. It stops you from feeling that love within you. It blocks you from opening your heart. Your true nature is love. Love is what you are.
Close your eyes, still your mind and practice your breathing. Take deep breaths, hold them, and let go slowly. Let go of all your hurts, worries, doubts, and fears. Be in the moment of your breathing. You are breathing love in and letting love out. You are conscious of your state at the moment. It is a state of being in love. Keep practicing that for about 15-20 minutes a day and you will see the result. You will feel at peace and find love there.
Control your mind. Do not let the mind control you.
7. Be grateful for everything
*What are you grateful for today?
*What blessings have you been receiving since you were born until now?
*What are the blessings that make you feel loved, accepted and special?
Start counting you blessings today. You will be amazed that indeed you are very blessed.
Are you still breathing? You are alive! You have eyes to see, ears to hear, mouth to eat, nose to smell beautiful roses, hands to touch things or hold people, you even have six sense and your heart is still beating!!! You might not have what your neighbors have; dream mate, children, dream job, dream car, money, etc., but you do have you, the wonderful, incredible you!
What are you grateful for? Do you have your journal that you can write down your list? When you write things down, it helps you see things clearly. At the moment, you might not feel grateful. If you pick up a pen and start jotting it down, going through all of the wonderful things that you are grateful for in your life, you will be surprised. Think about someone in the past who came into your life and taught you something -- whether it was your parents, siblings, spouse, children, teachers, friends, coworkers, boss, neighbors, strangers or even your ex, etc.. What did you learn from them? What specific lesson was it that each of those people taught you and brought you to be the person you are today?
I count my blessings everyday before going to bed and when I wake up each morning. I thank the Higher Power for the gift of life. I thank my spouse and my children for being in my life. I thank all my friends and everyone for being in my life. I thank my dog for teaching me how to love unconditionally. I thank every situation, every experience, and every challenge to help me grow. I thank the sun for shining. I thank the beautiful green trees for their beauty. I thank the rain for pouring on all those trees. I can go on with my endless list. The more I count my blessings, the more love comes into my heart.
Sometime when life does not come our way, we get frustrated, disappointed, and close our hearts. If you start to look at life in perspective, you will see that indeed life is teaching you to learn how to love you. Life is teaching you how to find yourself and find that love within you. When you are grateful for life and everything, you heart will start opening. That is the secret. Count your blessings today and feel your heart expand!
Life is a precious gift. Don’t take it for granted.
8. Be in the now
*Where are your thoughts right now?
If you are reading this article, you are here and now. If your eyes are looking at this article, but your mind is somewhere else, you are not being present.
Some of us or most of us spend too much time dwelling in the past thinking about how happy you were when you were in your past relationship, how sad it was to break up, how our bodies used to look like when we were younger, how you enjoyed your moment with someone, but now it is all gone, how much you regret, etc. When you think about the past, you live in the past. You are not here. You cannot go forward when you live in the past. Let go of your past. Let it go. It is over. Don’t worry about the future either. There is neither past, nor future, but the now. Every moment of your life is in the now.
9. Be loving
*How can you attract love if you are not being loving?
Be loving by giving love to yourself. Fill your heart with love by thinking of happy thoughts, letting go of your old hurts, limiting negative beliefs and seeing who you are right now. When you are loving, you allow love to enter. When you feel loving, you are tending to be more open to possibilities. You are willing to give. When you give and whatever you give out, it all comes back to you.
Practice being loving by looking at yourself in the mirror and say “ I love you. You are incredible. You are a happy being. You are loving and lovable.” When you love, trust, accept and forgive yourself, you will become more loving. Give unconditional love to yourself. Feel that love and be it.
10. Be yourself
*Who are you really?
Spend time discovering yourself. You are the creator of your own world. You can do or be anything you want to do and be. The key is to tap into that power within and to start to act now. Discover the real, authentic you. Discover the loving you who has a beautiful heart that is filled with so much love, joy, and peace. You inspire others. You are beautiful. You are love. Be yourself and be love. Then, you will attract love into your life. You become a magnet of love.
Open your heart again. Let the love come in. Fill your heart with it and give it to those who needs it. You are incredible! The world does not need your suffering, but your love. You are love.
With Love and Gratitude,
Pichaya
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