Dear Readers,
A relationship starts with yourself. Before you have a good relationship with someone, it is very important to have a great relationship with yourself. There are at least 10 principles of being and doing in order for you to have wonderful relationships with yourself and others. There are questions for you to ask yourself too. When asking yourself questions, you will find answers.
1. Love
Love yourself. This might seem like an old story being said over and over again. Some people might say “Why do you have to love yourself?” My question to you is “How can you love others if you don’t love yourself first?”
Loving yourself sounds easy, doesn’t it?
* Do you truly love yourself?
* What do you say when you talk to yourself? Do you say “Oh, you are not good enough, or do you say “You are great, incredible, and amazing!”?
* What do you do when you make a mistake? Do you beat yourself up, or do you hold that inner child and say “It is o.k. You made a mistake. I love you anyway. All is well.”?
* What do you do when you love yourself? Do you nurture yourself? Do you eat healthy food for your healthy body or you eat food that is not good for you? Do you take the time for yourself? Do you do what you love to do?
* How do you treat yourself? Do you treat yourself kindly or do you say unkind words to yourself when things do not come your way? Do you allow others to dominate you, or do you stand up for yourself?
2. Accept
Self acceptance is an important key for a wonderful relationship. When you accept yourself as who you are, you are ready to accept others. Self acceptance means you accept yourself no matter what.
* Do you accept yourself the way you look, the way you are, the way you walk, or talk, or whatever that is all about you?
* Do you call yourself names because someone in the past called you those names and you still believe in those thoughts?
* Do you accept yourself right now and say to yourself “I accept me for who I am”?
* How does it feel when you accept yourself?
* What is acceptable or unacceptable for you?
* What can you do to change your attitude toward self acceptance?
3. Appreciate
Appreciation or gratitude is a key to open your heart to love. When you appreciate or are grateful for something or someone, you feel loved, blessed, and happy.
* Do you appreciate yourself for every positive action you do, or do you think that no matter what you do, it’s not good enough?
* What do you most appreciate about yourself, your life, your body, your mind, your being, your feelings, your thoughts and actions?
* What are you grateful for?
4. Trust
Ok. You made mistakes. You had broken hearts. Someone who was supposed to love you did not love you the way you wanted. Someone broke your trust. It is hard for you to learn to trust people because of your past experiences.
* What are you going to do with it?
* Are you willing to hold on to that pain and be miserable for the rest of your life, or let go and move on?
* What would be your benefit of holding on to all the painful past experiences?
* What would be an impact on you or others when you focus on your painful past experiences?
* What choice would you like to make for your own goodness sake?
5. Listen
Listening is love.
* How do you listen to yourself?
* Do you listen to yourself with love or you have your negative opinions about anything you say?
* What happens when you listen to your own inner self (intuition, or your gut)?
* What happens when you do not listen?
6. Be present
To live is to be in the now. When you dwell on the painful past experiences, it brings you pain. When you worry about the future that has not yet arrived, it brings you anxiety. Which way would you like to live your life?
What does it mean to be present? For me, being present is when I put my whole attention on whatever I am doing. For example, when I write, I put all my thoughts, my love, and my awareness into my writing. When I cook, I do not worry about paying bills. When I eat ice cream, my attention is to taste the richness and the sweetness of the ice cream. I am not worrying about my work. I enjoy everything I do at each moment. Every given moment is precious.
There is no past to hold you back. There is no future to worry you. There is only the now. It is the time to be in the moment and embrace this wonderful opportunity to live to the fullest. You deserve it.
7. Be happy
Happiness is a state of mind. It is also a choice. Happiness is a way of life. You have a choice to be happy or miserable about your life, your love, or your relationship no matter what circumstances you are in. Life has ups and downs. You can choose to roll with the punch or you can choose to be rigid or against it. You can choose to accept things the way things are or you can choose to keep arguing about truth. It is all about a choice. It is all about your attitude. What choice would you rather make? What attitude would you rather have?
8. Believe
Belief in yourself is one of the first steps to success. Building your self esteem is very important. Here are some questions for you:
* Do you believe in someone’s negative opinions about you?
* What would be your benefits of believing in those thoughts?
* What would be your benefits for you when you shift your awareness to believing in yourself?
* How would that feel?
* What would be happening when you start to believe in yourself right now?
* What action can you take in order for you to believe in yourself?
9. Give
True love is selfless. It is all about giving. The more you give, the more you get. The secret of getting love is by giving it. When you truly love someone, you would be willing to give unconditionally the other person to what he/she needs.
* What are you willing to give freely and unconditionally to yourself at this very moment?
* What are you willing to give up when you are in a relationship?
* Do you give yourself a chance to be open or do you close yourself up tightly after you experienced your broken heart?
* When you give yourself freedom, what benefit does it bring you?
10. Forgive
This is one of the hardest things to do. I know. It is for your own benefit. Forgiveness sets you free. Forgive yourself and someone who hurt you. By doing so, you do yourself a favor. You are giving yourself a wonderful gift. That gift is freedom! You will be free from pain, anger, hurt, resentment, and all other negative feelings that have been eating you up.
You are a beautiful and wonderful being. You are loved. Look around and focus on only those who love you. Forgive those who hurt you. Forget about the past, live in the now, and live the life that you deserve. You are magnificent. All you need to do is to recognize it. Love yourself, love others, and love the higher source. Fill your heart with love until you become a magnet of it. One way for you to fill your heart with love is by counting your blessings. The more you count your blessings, the more you will see that life indeed is precious. When your heart is open to love, you will attract more love into your life.
Building a wonderful relationship takes time. Start with small steps. Every step you take will bring you to where you want to be. Please keep on loving yourself. You can do it! You are incredible! You are magnificent! You are love!
Much Love,
Pichaya
Friday, July 30, 2010
Thursday, July 22, 2010
10 Tips for Online Dating
There are many people using online dating. Some people are successful, become couples, get married, and live happily ever after, but some aren’t. I am one of those successful people! There are 10 tips that I would like to share with you to help you with your success and results that you are looking for.
1. Do your homework
Research and determine which website is best for you. Generally the ones that charge you are better than the free ones. As an old saying that is said “You get what you pay for.”
2. Create an attractive and selective profile
Being attractive means using only positive words on your profile. Adding your sense of humor on your profile is a plus.
Do: I am looking for someone who is honest, spiritual and loves children.
Don’t: If you are not honest and spiritual, and if you do not like children, please don’t bother to respond.
Being selective means you design your profile based on your requirements, needs, and wants in your ideal relationships. Be clear about what you want and don’t want. Writing a profile that will attract fewer, but more qualitative responses is the best approach. Remember, your goal is to attract highly qualified individuals who are in alignment with what you want. If your profile is too vague, too general, or too inclusive, you will have to spend too much time sorting through responses to find those who are more closely matched with you.
3. Post your recent photos
If you do not have your recent photos, please take some. Head shot photos are terrific because people want to see your face, your eyes, and perhaps your smile. People like a smiley face, don’t you think?
4. Be honest and truthful
Being honest is one of important keys in wonderful relationships. If you are honest from the start, you will have a great score! Being honest and truthful for everything you say, you will show others about your values.
5. Limit your personal information on your profile
Being brief, precise, and honest is a great start for your profile. Your long stories are not necessary. Telling others about your past relationships are not necessary at this point. You want to create a wonderful impression when people read your profile. If your profile sounds like a great match for individuals, they will want to get to know you more and contact you.
6. Protect yourself
When signing up for an e-mail account, use your first name only. Leave your last name blank on the form. This will protect you from others to find out more information about you.
7. Give out your phone number
A safe way for you is to provide your cell phone number instead of your home phone number. You can also use skype, yahoo, google, or windows live to talk to the other person. You can even see his/her face if you have a webcam installed on your pc. Those are free. Giving out your cell phone number is to protect yourself until you get to know the other person better.
8. Start talking
You will get a feel when you start talking to someone. You will know by talking to the other person if he/she would be a good match for you. Your next step is meeting in person.
9. Meet in public
Your first meeting face to face will tell you a lot about the other person. Make sure you meet in public. Make sure your friends and relatives know where you are and who you are with.
10. Trust your inner voice
Your inner voice or “intuition” is powerful. Your inner voice, your heart, and your intuition know truth. After reading profiles, responding to e-mails, talking on the phone, and meeting in person, your will have a feeling about it. Your inner voice will tell you.
I hope this helps! Following those tips will help you with your online dating at some degree. Remember, you want a quality person who aligns with your requirements, needs, and wants. Therefore, please be clear about what you want and do not want. You have power to choose and create your own world! Have fun, be positive, and always trust your heart because it knows best!
Love,
Pichaya
1. Do your homework
Research and determine which website is best for you. Generally the ones that charge you are better than the free ones. As an old saying that is said “You get what you pay for.”
2. Create an attractive and selective profile
Being attractive means using only positive words on your profile. Adding your sense of humor on your profile is a plus.
Do: I am looking for someone who is honest, spiritual and loves children.
Don’t: If you are not honest and spiritual, and if you do not like children, please don’t bother to respond.
Being selective means you design your profile based on your requirements, needs, and wants in your ideal relationships. Be clear about what you want and don’t want. Writing a profile that will attract fewer, but more qualitative responses is the best approach. Remember, your goal is to attract highly qualified individuals who are in alignment with what you want. If your profile is too vague, too general, or too inclusive, you will have to spend too much time sorting through responses to find those who are more closely matched with you.
3. Post your recent photos
If you do not have your recent photos, please take some. Head shot photos are terrific because people want to see your face, your eyes, and perhaps your smile. People like a smiley face, don’t you think?
4. Be honest and truthful
Being honest is one of important keys in wonderful relationships. If you are honest from the start, you will have a great score! Being honest and truthful for everything you say, you will show others about your values.
5. Limit your personal information on your profile
Being brief, precise, and honest is a great start for your profile. Your long stories are not necessary. Telling others about your past relationships are not necessary at this point. You want to create a wonderful impression when people read your profile. If your profile sounds like a great match for individuals, they will want to get to know you more and contact you.
6. Protect yourself
When signing up for an e-mail account, use your first name only. Leave your last name blank on the form. This will protect you from others to find out more information about you.
7. Give out your phone number
A safe way for you is to provide your cell phone number instead of your home phone number. You can also use skype, yahoo, google, or windows live to talk to the other person. You can even see his/her face if you have a webcam installed on your pc. Those are free. Giving out your cell phone number is to protect yourself until you get to know the other person better.
8. Start talking
You will get a feel when you start talking to someone. You will know by talking to the other person if he/she would be a good match for you. Your next step is meeting in person.
9. Meet in public
Your first meeting face to face will tell you a lot about the other person. Make sure you meet in public. Make sure your friends and relatives know where you are and who you are with.
10. Trust your inner voice
Your inner voice or “intuition” is powerful. Your inner voice, your heart, and your intuition know truth. After reading profiles, responding to e-mails, talking on the phone, and meeting in person, your will have a feeling about it. Your inner voice will tell you.
I hope this helps! Following those tips will help you with your online dating at some degree. Remember, you want a quality person who aligns with your requirements, needs, and wants. Therefore, please be clear about what you want and do not want. You have power to choose and create your own world! Have fun, be positive, and always trust your heart because it knows best!
Love,
Pichaya
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