Dear Wonderful Readers,
I can write a whole book about falling in love, but I will share with you about my personal experience. Falling in love is falling into karma.(There is no good nor bad karma. Everything is the way it is. Everything that comes into my life is for my spiritual growth. The Holy spirit knows best about what I need. God always sends each man to me to help me learn about myself. The key is to help me learn to love myself, love a man, and love God.) It depends on what kind of karma I have with each man. Falling in love and being in love are completely different things. They both are beautiful experiences for me.
The “falling in love stage” does not require a relationship. Being in love requires knowing the person and being in a relationship with the other person. When I fall in love, I don't even know much about the other person. I just fall. Looking back at each relationship I have had in the past with each man, I really did allow myself to fall without questioning it and without balancing my heart with my head. Here is how I felt about my husband Craig when I crazily fell for him. (I fell for him then. I fall for him now. I am still crazily falling for him and being deeply in love with him.)
Here is my definition of falling in love: It is when I can't think, feel, or see anything else, but him. When I am awake, I smile until my jaw hurt because I feel his warm presence and hear his gentle voice. When I close my eyes, I see his kind face, sexy mustache and beard, green eyes, and patient smile. I hear his gentle voice saying how much he loves and wants me. I feel his warm body beside me. I see him kiss me, touch me, and make love with me. I can't concentrate on doing anything because my mind goes wild and think too much about sex!(It is crazy!) I can't eat. I can't sleep. People say I am in glowing. People notice how happy I am.
Falling in love is a state of bliss, happiness, attachment, desire, and lust. It is like I was born again. Life is extra exciting! Everything in my world is beautiful. I walk around smiling to myself and people think that I am crazy. I feel like dancing in the sky and skipping across the rainbow and saying “I am on top of the world. I am in love.” Falling in love creates bravery and boldness. I am willing to risk anything just to be with him. I clear away all obstacles in front of me and I don't listen to anyone or allow anything to stop me from being with him. I am unstoppable like a forest fire that burns all things closed by. Whatever he does is so attractive and charming; the way he walks, the way he talks, and even the way he combs his hair. His presence makes me want to melt on the floor like butter melted by the hot sun. I feel special. I feel like a princess! I feel secure. I am on fire of desire, lust, and filled with passions. I feel complete!
The torture part is that I fall into lust. To be honest with you, I prefer to be in love...It is calmer, more peaceful, and more loving. Our connection is in a deeper level now. We are learning, growing, and evolving together. I am falling in love with Craig still. This time I am in a deeper hole and I am staying here!
One thing that I would love to share is that it takes true love, complete acceptance, absolute trust, and real forgiveness to have a successful, loving, and long lasting relationship. True love is selfless and unconditional. We learn to give what each other needs with no expectations. Complete acceptance is accepting our greatness and all of our flaws. Forgiveness is a true giving. We always forgive each other when we make mistakes. Craig and I have been through some hard times. We have ups and downs in our relationship. What makes us stay together? The answer is what I mentioned above. Also, we have the same life and relationship visions, values, and purpose.
To sum up, falling in love is a beautiful thing. The trick is to keep falling in love with the same person everyday, fall deeper, and keep the romance going!
I would like to end up with Rumi's quote.
“Let us fall in love again and scatter gold dust all over the world.”
With Love,
Pichaya
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Sunday, January 30, 2011
9 Ways to Give from the Heart
Dear Readers,
Giving from the heart
Giving from the heart has no strings attached. It has no conditions. When you give freely without expectation, your heart expands for more love to enter. As a result you have more love to give. When you give more, it makes you happy. The more you give, the more you receive. You feel fulfilled with love, joy, and happiness.
There are 9 simple ways to give from the heart.
1.Your Smile
You have a unique and attractive smile! Your smile can light up someone's day. If you go out in public whether it is a grocery store, post office, or a mall, practice being conscious and giving a smile to a clerk or someone you feel the call to do so. If you go for a walk and see people pass by, give a smile to those people. It does not matter if the other people will give you a smile back. It is not the point. The point is giving without expectation. You indeed give that happiness to yourself because you feel happy inside when you give.
2.Your Touch
Give your loved ones your personal touch by holding, hugging, or cuddling. Pet your dog or cat. Give your friends a hug. Hugging feels good! People love to be loved and held. Even pets love to be touched. Giving your gentle and sweet touch to your loved ones or your pets will make both givers and receivers happy.
3.Your Kind Words or Compliments
People like compliments. Saying kind words and giving compliments make people feel good. Practice giving compliments and saying kind words everyday. Find something that you can authentically give compliments to another person whether it is about physical appearance, actions, or even a smile. You will feel the power of compliments.
4.Your Attention
Set aside sometime to give your full attention to people you talk to. Be fully present with your spouse, children, parents, friends, or neighbors. When you speak with the other person, make eye contacts and look at the other person with love. Listen deeply to spoken and unspoken words. Listen with love and without judgment or adding your own opinion. If you think you are right about things, practice allowing the other person to be without judging him/her. Just listen from the heart. Pay full attention while speaking by making eye contact and listening deeply.
5. Your Time
Time is precious. There is time for everything. There is time to be with yourself. There is also time for you to be with others and give yourself to others. You can give your time away by listening to your friend's problems or writing notes, e-mails to your friends or loved ones or calling your friends to say “hi” or simply saying “Thinking of you”.
You can give your time by listening to someone's troubles. When someone calls you up and wants to talk, you can listen to someone with love. People want to be heard. Just listen attentively and deeply.
6.Your Knowledge
You can give away your knowledge by sharing what you have learned in life or some information that might benefit others. Sharing your wisdom with others is a great gift that you can give. People will appreciate your knowledge.
7.Your Thanks
Give thanks to life and everyone you are in contact with. Express your gratitude in a loving way. Tell people that you appreciate them for being in your life. Think of anything that you appreciate them for and express it by saying or writing it. Send e-mail, texting, letters, or give them a call to express your gratitude toward the other person. Let people know how you feel about them. Say “Thank You” for being in your life and helping you in some ways.
8.Your Kindness
Be kind to everybody. Opening a door for someone is kind. Helping people when they need help is kind. Being tolerant, and considerate is kind. Be kind in thoughts, words, and actions. What does being “kind” mean to you? Being kind makes you feel at peace with yourself. As a result, you bring peace to those around you.
9.Your Love
Everybody needs love. You can start giving love unconditionally to yourself first. Love yourself greatly. Respect, accept, and forgive yourself for all the mistakes you make. Once you can give love to yourself unconditionally, it will be easy for you to love others that way. If you love someone, then express it in thoughts, words, and action. Say “I love you.” to your loved ones. Actions sometime are not enough. Words of love need to be heard too.
When you give from the heart, you feel so much joy and happy within yourself. No one can take this happiness away from you.
Everything starts within your heart. It is very important that you give all the above to yourself first. It has to be given unconditionally. When you love yourself unconditionally, you are more willing to do the same to others.
When you give with love and detach from the outcome, you benefit from it. The result is that you find peace, love, harmony, and happiness within your loving heart. You have earned that blissful feeling by giving yourself away. You become happier and live a purposeful life.
With Love and Gratitude,
Pichaya
Giving from the heart
Giving from the heart has no strings attached. It has no conditions. When you give freely without expectation, your heart expands for more love to enter. As a result you have more love to give. When you give more, it makes you happy. The more you give, the more you receive. You feel fulfilled with love, joy, and happiness.
There are 9 simple ways to give from the heart.
1.Your Smile
You have a unique and attractive smile! Your smile can light up someone's day. If you go out in public whether it is a grocery store, post office, or a mall, practice being conscious and giving a smile to a clerk or someone you feel the call to do so. If you go for a walk and see people pass by, give a smile to those people. It does not matter if the other people will give you a smile back. It is not the point. The point is giving without expectation. You indeed give that happiness to yourself because you feel happy inside when you give.
2.Your Touch
Give your loved ones your personal touch by holding, hugging, or cuddling. Pet your dog or cat. Give your friends a hug. Hugging feels good! People love to be loved and held. Even pets love to be touched. Giving your gentle and sweet touch to your loved ones or your pets will make both givers and receivers happy.
3.Your Kind Words or Compliments
People like compliments. Saying kind words and giving compliments make people feel good. Practice giving compliments and saying kind words everyday. Find something that you can authentically give compliments to another person whether it is about physical appearance, actions, or even a smile. You will feel the power of compliments.
4.Your Attention
Set aside sometime to give your full attention to people you talk to. Be fully present with your spouse, children, parents, friends, or neighbors. When you speak with the other person, make eye contacts and look at the other person with love. Listen deeply to spoken and unspoken words. Listen with love and without judgment or adding your own opinion. If you think you are right about things, practice allowing the other person to be without judging him/her. Just listen from the heart. Pay full attention while speaking by making eye contact and listening deeply.
5. Your Time
Time is precious. There is time for everything. There is time to be with yourself. There is also time for you to be with others and give yourself to others. You can give your time away by listening to your friend's problems or writing notes, e-mails to your friends or loved ones or calling your friends to say “hi” or simply saying “Thinking of you”.
You can give your time by listening to someone's troubles. When someone calls you up and wants to talk, you can listen to someone with love. People want to be heard. Just listen attentively and deeply.
6.Your Knowledge
You can give away your knowledge by sharing what you have learned in life or some information that might benefit others. Sharing your wisdom with others is a great gift that you can give. People will appreciate your knowledge.
7.Your Thanks
Give thanks to life and everyone you are in contact with. Express your gratitude in a loving way. Tell people that you appreciate them for being in your life. Think of anything that you appreciate them for and express it by saying or writing it. Send e-mail, texting, letters, or give them a call to express your gratitude toward the other person. Let people know how you feel about them. Say “Thank You” for being in your life and helping you in some ways.
8.Your Kindness
Be kind to everybody. Opening a door for someone is kind. Helping people when they need help is kind. Being tolerant, and considerate is kind. Be kind in thoughts, words, and actions. What does being “kind” mean to you? Being kind makes you feel at peace with yourself. As a result, you bring peace to those around you.
9.Your Love
Everybody needs love. You can start giving love unconditionally to yourself first. Love yourself greatly. Respect, accept, and forgive yourself for all the mistakes you make. Once you can give love to yourself unconditionally, it will be easy for you to love others that way. If you love someone, then express it in thoughts, words, and action. Say “I love you.” to your loved ones. Actions sometime are not enough. Words of love need to be heard too.
When you give from the heart, you feel so much joy and happy within yourself. No one can take this happiness away from you.
Everything starts within your heart. It is very important that you give all the above to yourself first. It has to be given unconditionally. When you love yourself unconditionally, you are more willing to do the same to others.
When you give with love and detach from the outcome, you benefit from it. The result is that you find peace, love, harmony, and happiness within your loving heart. You have earned that blissful feeling by giving yourself away. You become happier and live a purposeful life.
With Love and Gratitude,
Pichaya
Sunday, December 19, 2010
7 Tips on Finding Your Ideal Life Partner
Dear Wonderful Readers,
I hope you are getting ready for your holidays! We are getting near the end of the year. Have you thought about what you have learned this year about Life, Love, and Relationship? What have you gained? What is your next step? Where are you going next?
If you are searching for your Ideal Relationship, here are some tips for this week.
1. Fill your heart with love
You fill your heart with love by finding something or someone that you love. If you have friends whom you love, then, give your love to your friends. If you have a pet, then, give your love to your pet. If you love to dance, read, write, cook, or do some activities that you love, then, put your whole heart into everything you do. When you put your heart into everything you do, you will find joy, happiness, and love. You will become a magnet of love. You will attract more love into your life.
2. Let go of your limiting beliefs
Find your hidden beliefs that are holding you back. Here are some limiting belief:
Fear of greatness
Fear of not being good enough
Fear of not being loved
Fear of rejection
Fear of failure
Fear of success
I don't deserve/ I am not worthy of love
You can practice letting go of your limiting beliefs by:
1. Be aware of the limiting beliefs.
2. Ask yourself if that belief is true or not?
3. Dig deeper and find out where it is coming from. Whose voice is it that is talking to you? Perhaps it is from your parents, your ex, other people, or your own critic voice that has been sabotaging you for years.
4. Change your new belief
Write it down on a piece of paper or type into your computer in bold letters. State in a present tense.
Here are some example of new beliefs:
I am good enough.
I am worthy of love.
I can succeed in finding my Ideal Life Partner.
I deserve to be loved.
5. Post it somewhere that you can see it daily
6. State your new belief out loud 2 times a day morning and night. Make it a routine. You might need to say your new belief 50 times a day to replace the old.
7. Do this exercise for the next 30 days
It takes time to change your limiting beliefs. It takes reputation, determination, courage, and love. You can do it!
3. Be happy
You can choose to be happy. When you are happy, you attract more happiness in your life. When you are happy, you are attractive!!! It is an attitude that you want to have in order for you to live joyfully. You are the Chooser! You can be happy now by choosing to be!
4. Be the Ideal person who you want to attract
If you want to attract love, be love, loving, and lovable.
5. Give of yourself
The secret of getting love is by giving it. Give without expectation. Give with love even if it is a small thing like your smile. Smile from the heart! Everybody loves a smile. Find some ways to give each day. You will find love, peace, and happiness. The key is to detach from the outcome. You give because you want to give; not because you want something back. That is the true giving. It is giving without expectation. When you give from your heart, it all will come back to you in many beautiful magical ways!!!
6. Believe in yourself
To succeed in anything in life, you have to believe in yourself. If you want to succeed in love, you have to believe that you are worthy of love. Believe that you will meet the right person. Believe that you are good enough. Believe that you have the right to be the Chooser. Don't wait to have someone to choose you.
7. Take actions
Nothing will happen unless you take actions. What is your next step on finding love? What do you need to do? Where will you meet your life partner? What is your plan? If you want something, take actions. If you want love, take actions now. The Divine Spirit will step in and help you when you first help yourself on finding love.
Love starts within a loving heart. Love yourself first. Then, love others more.
If you want love, be love.
If you want peace, be peace.
If you want happiness, be happy.
If you want joy, be joyful.
If you want your Ideal Life Partner, be the Ideal Life Partner.
Just be...And start giving from the heart today.
Happy Sunday!
With Love and Gratitude,
Pichaya
I hope you are getting ready for your holidays! We are getting near the end of the year. Have you thought about what you have learned this year about Life, Love, and Relationship? What have you gained? What is your next step? Where are you going next?
If you are searching for your Ideal Relationship, here are some tips for this week.
1. Fill your heart with love
You fill your heart with love by finding something or someone that you love. If you have friends whom you love, then, give your love to your friends. If you have a pet, then, give your love to your pet. If you love to dance, read, write, cook, or do some activities that you love, then, put your whole heart into everything you do. When you put your heart into everything you do, you will find joy, happiness, and love. You will become a magnet of love. You will attract more love into your life.
2. Let go of your limiting beliefs
Find your hidden beliefs that are holding you back. Here are some limiting belief:
Fear of greatness
Fear of not being good enough
Fear of not being loved
Fear of rejection
Fear of failure
Fear of success
I don't deserve/ I am not worthy of love
You can practice letting go of your limiting beliefs by:
1. Be aware of the limiting beliefs.
2. Ask yourself if that belief is true or not?
3. Dig deeper and find out where it is coming from. Whose voice is it that is talking to you? Perhaps it is from your parents, your ex, other people, or your own critic voice that has been sabotaging you for years.
4. Change your new belief
Write it down on a piece of paper or type into your computer in bold letters. State in a present tense.
Here are some example of new beliefs:
I am good enough.
I am worthy of love.
I can succeed in finding my Ideal Life Partner.
I deserve to be loved.
5. Post it somewhere that you can see it daily
6. State your new belief out loud 2 times a day morning and night. Make it a routine. You might need to say your new belief 50 times a day to replace the old.
7. Do this exercise for the next 30 days
It takes time to change your limiting beliefs. It takes reputation, determination, courage, and love. You can do it!
3. Be happy
You can choose to be happy. When you are happy, you attract more happiness in your life. When you are happy, you are attractive!!! It is an attitude that you want to have in order for you to live joyfully. You are the Chooser! You can be happy now by choosing to be!
4. Be the Ideal person who you want to attract
If you want to attract love, be love, loving, and lovable.
5. Give of yourself
The secret of getting love is by giving it. Give without expectation. Give with love even if it is a small thing like your smile. Smile from the heart! Everybody loves a smile. Find some ways to give each day. You will find love, peace, and happiness. The key is to detach from the outcome. You give because you want to give; not because you want something back. That is the true giving. It is giving without expectation. When you give from your heart, it all will come back to you in many beautiful magical ways!!!
6. Believe in yourself
To succeed in anything in life, you have to believe in yourself. If you want to succeed in love, you have to believe that you are worthy of love. Believe that you will meet the right person. Believe that you are good enough. Believe that you have the right to be the Chooser. Don't wait to have someone to choose you.
7. Take actions
Nothing will happen unless you take actions. What is your next step on finding love? What do you need to do? Where will you meet your life partner? What is your plan? If you want something, take actions. If you want love, take actions now. The Divine Spirit will step in and help you when you first help yourself on finding love.
Love starts within a loving heart. Love yourself first. Then, love others more.
If you want love, be love.
If you want peace, be peace.
If you want happiness, be happy.
If you want joy, be joyful.
If you want your Ideal Life Partner, be the Ideal Life Partner.
Just be...And start giving from the heart today.
Happy Sunday!
With Love and Gratitude,
Pichaya
Friday, December 10, 2010
7 Tips to Overcome Fear
Dear Wonderful Readers,
There are many different kinds of fears that we all do face. Are you familiar with one or some of the following? How do you overcome fears?
Fear of... heights, darkness, water, a certain kind of animals
public speaking
change
unknown
uncertainty
taking risks
rejection
not good enough
looking bad
failure
losing your loved one?
You might want to add on to the list above. Good news is this! You are not alone. I have met many people who have some of those fears and they learned to overcome them.
From my personal experience, I have faced all the fears mentioned above. One of my biggest fears is losing my loved one. I had to deal with it 10 years ago when I lost my previous husband who died of lung cancer. He left me with two small children; 8 months old and 2 years old at that time. I had all sorts of fears. My children and I lived on food stamps in New Mexico. I had no job, no money, and no family to support me. (They all were in Thailand.) I did not know how I could survive in the U.S. I was living with fears for quite sometime. Fortunately, I had some great support from amazing people to help me for what I needed. I am very grateful for those wonderful people who came into my life at that time. Although I had great support, I was still living with fears. Finally, I got to the point where I did not want to live that way anymore.
We all have fears. As long as we live on this earth, we all have to face our own fears. It depends on what kind of fear that we are meant to face and how we deal with them. I would love to share with you about how to overcome fears.
Here are some tips.
1. Acknowledge the fear, feel it, and shift your attention
When fear is presented to you, there is a significant meaning in the fear itself. It is your gift to learn more about yourself that there is nothing that you can't handle. Otherwise, it would not have been given to you since the first place. When you feel the fears, I invite you to ask yourself the following questions.
*What are you afraid of?
*Why?
*What is the worse case that could happen?
*What is the hidden gift behind this event?
*What is your focus?
*What do you really want?
*What is the most important thing for you right now?
*Who are you being?
*Which choice would you want to choose; love or fear?
*What would you do for love?
By acknowledging the fear and feeling it, it helps you recognize that there is something that you really need to work on. Fears come to you because you need the experience to learn more about yourself. You will learn that you can handle anything that comes your way. You will know how to handle them better each time. When fear appears, acknowledge it, feel it, and shift your attention to love and service.
2. Focus on Love and Service
Focus is a great key to bring forth the energy and love to where you want it to be. For example, when I lost my previous husband, I shifted all of my attention on my children instead of feeling sorry for myself. The children were my inspiration. I put all my love and attention on my children. Fear disappeared when I did not think about it. It is all about focus and attention. When I focus on what is more important to do, I can put my energy and love on what I want to focus on. Instead of focusing on the husband who already passed, or feeling sorry for myself, I put my love, care, energy, and attention on my two small children who needed me. I needed to move on not just with my life, but my childrens lives. Focusing on the past brings sadness, regret, guilt, shame, anger, resentment, and fear. Focusing on the goal and the present brings strength, motivation, determination, peace, enthusiasm, trust, acceptance, forgiveness and love. Focusing on love and service brings a sense of life purpose and it chases fears away. When love appears, fear is vanished.
3. Trust, Believe, and Act As If
Trust
Trust in yourself that you can handle anything that comes your way. When you have more trust in yourself, there is nothing to hold you back from doing anything that you want to do. If you have a negative voice that says to you “ You are not good enough” or “You can't handle it.”, please acknowledge that voice and talk to it by questioning your own thoughts and use the questions in #1. You can also say to that voice in a loving way with a positive talk “Thank you for saying so. I do believe and trust in myself and I want to move forward. Thank you for giving me strength.”
Believe
Believe in yourself. Believe in your own highest potential despite of what people say about you or what your negative voice says to you. You can choose to believe when and what you want to. Let's say that you are fear of dating, initiating contacts, or intimacy, you can ask yourself all the questions that I share with you on # 1 Acknowledging Fear, feel it, shift your attention, and focus on Love and Service. Then, make your decision and choose to believe in your own power. Say it many times out loud to yourself “I believe in me.”
Act as if
Have you seen successful people who are very confident in themselves? What if you could act like that by acting as if you were a successful, powerful and confident being? Act as if you are 100% confident in yourself and knowing that you can succeed in anything that you do.
A few years ago, someone asked me to give a talk and share my story in public. First, I said “no” to the person. I got away with it. I did not want to do it because I had fear of looking bad, fear of not good enough, and fear of making mistakes about my English grammar, etc. (FYI: I am Thai. I am not a native speaker.) A few months later, she asked me again to give a talk. This time I asked myself “What is this all about? Why does she keep asking me?” The truth was that it was a gift for me to break through this fear. That was why it was presented to me. Finally, I saw that opportunity as a gift, accepted it, and acted as if I was fully confident in myself to give a talk. I focused on Love and Service and acted as if I was a professional speaker. I acted as if I was a native speaker. As a result, I did fine. I would not want to say that I liked it, but I did it. I walked through it, took action, and I saw the gift.
4. See a hidden gift
When fears are presented to you, look for a gift. What is in it for you? Let's say... you have fears of rejection. You are afraid to initiate contacts because you were hurt from the past and you don't want to get hurt again. Ask yourself “What is in it for me?” Or “What is my gift here?” You might find a gift that helps you to learn how to open heart and accept more love into your life despite of what happened to you in the past. You might be seeing a gift of confidence. That fear of rejection is giving you a gift to bring more confidence in yourself. A great way to see a gift is by looking at life in perspective and be positive. Look for your hidden gift and you will find it.
5.Be in the now
Often we live in the past and in the future. We are not in the now. Have you experienced hurt in the past? Has someone hurt your feelings, broken your heart and trust? Have you found yourself still living in the past thinking about such and such person who hurt you when that event happened a few years or many years ago? In your thoughts you are still hurting even though that event is over. Why don't you want to let go of the past? Why are you keeping it in your thoughts? How does living in the past serve you? It does not. Have you ever been worried or feared of what is going to happen in the future? Why do you worry about the future that has not arrived yet?
We all are given a new day everyday. There is only this moment. It is the now. Be here now. A great way to be in the now is doing meditation, controlling your breathing, and focus on your positive self talk. Put your attention on where you are right now. If you are feeling the fear of something, be here now. Feel the fear, ask yourself the above questions from #1. Next, fill your heart with love.
6. Fill Your Heart With Love
A wonderful way to fill your heart with love is by thinking of when you experience great love. Think of someone you love so greatly that you are willing to risk anything for the other person whether that person is your lover, spouse, children, parents, friends, your pets or your job. Think of something that makes you feel so joyful, happy, and in love. Listen to your favorite music or sing your favorite song. Another way to fill your heart with love is by choosing it to be. Just be love. When your heart is filled with love, there is nothing to hold you back. You will be willing to take risks and do anything just for love.
7. Face Your Fear
Now your heart is filled with great love, fear is starting to quiet down. If you still feel the fear, the only way to overcome your fear is to face it and walk through it. Just do it. Once you take actions, you will experience your own power and learn that you have an ability to handle anything that comes your way. You will face fears with confidence, believe and trust in yourself that you could handle it. Above of all, you will learn about the Power of Love which is the highest power in this whole universe! And you are that LOVE.
Fear is a great opportunity for growth in each area of your life; lifestyle, self-esteem, personal organization, health and fitness, relationships, money and finances, job and career, personal growth, quality of life, and spirituality. Fear will keep appearing in your life until you leave this earth. Life requires growth. When you pass one test, there will be another test to challenge you. There is always a next step to unfold. If you look at fear as your great vitamin for life, you will learn to appreciate fear. It gives you strength. When fear appears, embrace it with love and humility. You will never fail when you do anything with love. When your heart is filled with love, there is nothing to hold you back from moving forward to where you want to go. The more you experience fear, the more you learn about how to love, trust, and believe in yourself. Believe in your own ability. Believe in your own given power. Believe that you can succeed in anything that you want to do. You are unlimited and you are capable of handling anything that life gives you. Take your time to unfold. Go at your own pace. You can do it! Feel the love, face the fear, and find freedom!
With Love and Gratitude,
Pichaya
There are many different kinds of fears that we all do face. Are you familiar with one or some of the following? How do you overcome fears?
Fear of... heights, darkness, water, a certain kind of animals
public speaking
change
unknown
uncertainty
taking risks
rejection
not good enough
looking bad
failure
losing your loved one?
You might want to add on to the list above. Good news is this! You are not alone. I have met many people who have some of those fears and they learned to overcome them.
From my personal experience, I have faced all the fears mentioned above. One of my biggest fears is losing my loved one. I had to deal with it 10 years ago when I lost my previous husband who died of lung cancer. He left me with two small children; 8 months old and 2 years old at that time. I had all sorts of fears. My children and I lived on food stamps in New Mexico. I had no job, no money, and no family to support me. (They all were in Thailand.) I did not know how I could survive in the U.S. I was living with fears for quite sometime. Fortunately, I had some great support from amazing people to help me for what I needed. I am very grateful for those wonderful people who came into my life at that time. Although I had great support, I was still living with fears. Finally, I got to the point where I did not want to live that way anymore.
We all have fears. As long as we live on this earth, we all have to face our own fears. It depends on what kind of fear that we are meant to face and how we deal with them. I would love to share with you about how to overcome fears.
Here are some tips.
1. Acknowledge the fear, feel it, and shift your attention
When fear is presented to you, there is a significant meaning in the fear itself. It is your gift to learn more about yourself that there is nothing that you can't handle. Otherwise, it would not have been given to you since the first place. When you feel the fears, I invite you to ask yourself the following questions.
*What are you afraid of?
*Why?
*What is the worse case that could happen?
*What is the hidden gift behind this event?
*What is your focus?
*What do you really want?
*What is the most important thing for you right now?
*Who are you being?
*Which choice would you want to choose; love or fear?
*What would you do for love?
By acknowledging the fear and feeling it, it helps you recognize that there is something that you really need to work on. Fears come to you because you need the experience to learn more about yourself. You will learn that you can handle anything that comes your way. You will know how to handle them better each time. When fear appears, acknowledge it, feel it, and shift your attention to love and service.
2. Focus on Love and Service
Focus is a great key to bring forth the energy and love to where you want it to be. For example, when I lost my previous husband, I shifted all of my attention on my children instead of feeling sorry for myself. The children were my inspiration. I put all my love and attention on my children. Fear disappeared when I did not think about it. It is all about focus and attention. When I focus on what is more important to do, I can put my energy and love on what I want to focus on. Instead of focusing on the husband who already passed, or feeling sorry for myself, I put my love, care, energy, and attention on my two small children who needed me. I needed to move on not just with my life, but my childrens lives. Focusing on the past brings sadness, regret, guilt, shame, anger, resentment, and fear. Focusing on the goal and the present brings strength, motivation, determination, peace, enthusiasm, trust, acceptance, forgiveness and love. Focusing on love and service brings a sense of life purpose and it chases fears away. When love appears, fear is vanished.
3. Trust, Believe, and Act As If
Trust
Trust in yourself that you can handle anything that comes your way. When you have more trust in yourself, there is nothing to hold you back from doing anything that you want to do. If you have a negative voice that says to you “ You are not good enough” or “You can't handle it.”, please acknowledge that voice and talk to it by questioning your own thoughts and use the questions in #1. You can also say to that voice in a loving way with a positive talk “Thank you for saying so. I do believe and trust in myself and I want to move forward. Thank you for giving me strength.”
Believe
Believe in yourself. Believe in your own highest potential despite of what people say about you or what your negative voice says to you. You can choose to believe when and what you want to. Let's say that you are fear of dating, initiating contacts, or intimacy, you can ask yourself all the questions that I share with you on # 1 Acknowledging Fear, feel it, shift your attention, and focus on Love and Service. Then, make your decision and choose to believe in your own power. Say it many times out loud to yourself “I believe in me.”
Act as if
Have you seen successful people who are very confident in themselves? What if you could act like that by acting as if you were a successful, powerful and confident being? Act as if you are 100% confident in yourself and knowing that you can succeed in anything that you do.
A few years ago, someone asked me to give a talk and share my story in public. First, I said “no” to the person. I got away with it. I did not want to do it because I had fear of looking bad, fear of not good enough, and fear of making mistakes about my English grammar, etc. (FYI: I am Thai. I am not a native speaker.) A few months later, she asked me again to give a talk. This time I asked myself “What is this all about? Why does she keep asking me?” The truth was that it was a gift for me to break through this fear. That was why it was presented to me. Finally, I saw that opportunity as a gift, accepted it, and acted as if I was fully confident in myself to give a talk. I focused on Love and Service and acted as if I was a professional speaker. I acted as if I was a native speaker. As a result, I did fine. I would not want to say that I liked it, but I did it. I walked through it, took action, and I saw the gift.
4. See a hidden gift
When fears are presented to you, look for a gift. What is in it for you? Let's say... you have fears of rejection. You are afraid to initiate contacts because you were hurt from the past and you don't want to get hurt again. Ask yourself “What is in it for me?” Or “What is my gift here?” You might find a gift that helps you to learn how to open heart and accept more love into your life despite of what happened to you in the past. You might be seeing a gift of confidence. That fear of rejection is giving you a gift to bring more confidence in yourself. A great way to see a gift is by looking at life in perspective and be positive. Look for your hidden gift and you will find it.
5.Be in the now
Often we live in the past and in the future. We are not in the now. Have you experienced hurt in the past? Has someone hurt your feelings, broken your heart and trust? Have you found yourself still living in the past thinking about such and such person who hurt you when that event happened a few years or many years ago? In your thoughts you are still hurting even though that event is over. Why don't you want to let go of the past? Why are you keeping it in your thoughts? How does living in the past serve you? It does not. Have you ever been worried or feared of what is going to happen in the future? Why do you worry about the future that has not arrived yet?
We all are given a new day everyday. There is only this moment. It is the now. Be here now. A great way to be in the now is doing meditation, controlling your breathing, and focus on your positive self talk. Put your attention on where you are right now. If you are feeling the fear of something, be here now. Feel the fear, ask yourself the above questions from #1. Next, fill your heart with love.
6. Fill Your Heart With Love
A wonderful way to fill your heart with love is by thinking of when you experience great love. Think of someone you love so greatly that you are willing to risk anything for the other person whether that person is your lover, spouse, children, parents, friends, your pets or your job. Think of something that makes you feel so joyful, happy, and in love. Listen to your favorite music or sing your favorite song. Another way to fill your heart with love is by choosing it to be. Just be love. When your heart is filled with love, there is nothing to hold you back. You will be willing to take risks and do anything just for love.
7. Face Your Fear
Now your heart is filled with great love, fear is starting to quiet down. If you still feel the fear, the only way to overcome your fear is to face it and walk through it. Just do it. Once you take actions, you will experience your own power and learn that you have an ability to handle anything that comes your way. You will face fears with confidence, believe and trust in yourself that you could handle it. Above of all, you will learn about the Power of Love which is the highest power in this whole universe! And you are that LOVE.
Fear is a great opportunity for growth in each area of your life; lifestyle, self-esteem, personal organization, health and fitness, relationships, money and finances, job and career, personal growth, quality of life, and spirituality. Fear will keep appearing in your life until you leave this earth. Life requires growth. When you pass one test, there will be another test to challenge you. There is always a next step to unfold. If you look at fear as your great vitamin for life, you will learn to appreciate fear. It gives you strength. When fear appears, embrace it with love and humility. You will never fail when you do anything with love. When your heart is filled with love, there is nothing to hold you back from moving forward to where you want to go. The more you experience fear, the more you learn about how to love, trust, and believe in yourself. Believe in your own ability. Believe in your own given power. Believe that you can succeed in anything that you want to do. You are unlimited and you are capable of handling anything that life gives you. Take your time to unfold. Go at your own pace. You can do it! Feel the love, face the fear, and find freedom!
With Love and Gratitude,
Pichaya
Sunday, October 24, 2010
9 Tips to Self love
Dear Readers,
Are you one of those people who have a hard time loving yourself? If so, you are not alone. Loving yourself is an ongoing journey. It takes practice. You can do it! Here are some tips for you to practice self love.
1. Practice receiving love
To truly love is to be able to receive it. When someone loves you, does some kind deeds to you, say kind words, give you gifts, or give you compliments, embrace it. Allow yourself to feel the love that has come your way. Know that you are worthy of love. It is important to accept a gift of love by others. You give yourself a chance to learn more about yourself that you are lovable. You give someone a joy of giving by loving you. Another important way is to practice receiving love by saying “I love you” to yourself. Let that love fill your heart. Receive that love that you give to yourself unconditionally.
2. Practice saying “no”
It is o.k. to say “no” to people when you do not feel like doing something. Do not feel guilty about it. Just realize that you have the right to do so. This is different from doing things out of love. If you do things out of love and your heart wants to do them, that is a different story. What I am talking about here is when your heart does not want to do it and you feel like you have to please someone, and make others happy by over extending yourself. Learning how to say “no” is an art. It takes practice. You might say “Thank you for asking. I am not ready to commit to doing anything right now.” You cannot please everyone. When you say “no”, remember to smile sincerely and say “no” gracefully.
3. Do what you love
What do you love to do? If you could find something that you love to do and spend time doing it, you will experience love, joy, and happiness in your heart. That is when you truly connect with your authentic self. As a result you become happier and more loving.
4. Treat yourself like treating your very best friend
How do you treat your very best friend? Do you treat him/her with love, kindness, trust, appreciation, acceptance, and respect? If you can give that to your friend, why don’t you give that to yourself? Practice treating yourself like you treat your very best friend by saying kind words to yourself. Stop calling yourself names. Stop beating yourself up. Forgive yourself. Give yourself compliments. Know your boundaries and listen deeply to your needs. Treat yourself kindly, gently, and lovingly like you treat your very best friend.
5. Forgive
Forgive yourself for all the mistakes, regrets, shames, and everything. Leave the past behind and be present with your new day. Today is your day. It is time to move forward. Just do it.
6. Nurture yourself
Self care is very important. Set up some time to be by yourself, just by yourself. Do something that gives you peace, love, and joy with yourself. You can nurture yourself physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.
Physical
*Go to a gym, yoga class, take a walk, play tennis, or any kind of exercise that you love to do
*Go to a dance class if you love to dance
*Take a nap when you want and need to
*Get a massage
*Consume healthy food that is good for your body.
Realize that you do this because you love you. Take very good care of you. If you don’t, who will?
Emotional
*Feel good about yourself. Look at yourself in the mirror, smile, and say “I love you. I am love, loving, and lovable.”
*Listen to your favorite music
*Acknowledge your accomplishment each day even it is a small thing
*Look at the sunrise each morning
*Pet your dog or cat
*Water your plants
*Call or e-mail your friends and share your feelings with them
*Wear your favorite clothes
*Do whatever makes you feel good about yourself
Mental
*Read your favorite books
*Write your daily journal about dreams
*Write your to do list
*Write your gratitude list
*Make a list of your short and long term goals
*Track your goals
*Make a list of things that you want to improve about your life, love, and relationships
Spiritual
*Meditate or contemplate
*Be centered with your higher self
*Connect with nature
7. Stop comparing yourself to others
Everyone on this earth is unique. We all have different gifts. When you compare yourself to others, it makes you feel bad about yourself. When you compare yourself to others for what they have, whether it is a car, a house, a mate, children, money, or a job, it makes you feel low self esteem, lose your confidence, and perhaps depressed, envy or jealous. A way to stop comparing yourself to others is by focusing on your own strength. Get to know yourself and discover what is your greatest gift that you are meant to share with the world.
Another great way is by practicing gratitude. Be happy for what you have. Really be grateful about everything that you have; people in your life, job, relationships, material, etc. Gratitude keeps your heart open to love. No one is quite like you. Just be you. Be grateful for being the wonderful you. Do the best you can. Be the best you can and love yourself more. Then, you have more love to give to others.
8. Stop trying to be perfect
Here is a quote from a dear friend of mine: “Excellence I can achieve. Perfection is God’s business”. Stop criticizing yourself for being less than perfect. Always do your best. But, not reaching perfection is not failure.
9. Change your self talk
“Change your Self-Talk and you will change your programs. Change your programs and you will change your life.”
~Dr. Shad Helmstetter
Have you ever watched your thoughts on how you talk to yourself? Is it negative or positive? If you have been talking to yourself negatively, you can change it by changing your programs. You can change your self-talk by changing your programs that have been stored in your brain since you were born. A great way that I would recommend is to listen to self-talk cds. It works for many people. It worked for me and it changed my life in an amazing, profound, and incredible way.
There are 3 books by Dr. Helmstetter that I highly recommend.
1. What To Say When You Talk to Your Self.
2. Who Are You Really And What Do You Want?
3. The Gift
To learn more about Self Talk, please visit www.selftalkstore.com.
If those books and cds can change my life and many people’s lives, it can change yours!
When you love yourself, you have more love to give. You become more attractive. As a result, you attract more love into your life when you are love, loving, and lovable.
With Love and Gratitude,
Pichaya
Are you one of those people who have a hard time loving yourself? If so, you are not alone. Loving yourself is an ongoing journey. It takes practice. You can do it! Here are some tips for you to practice self love.
1. Practice receiving love
To truly love is to be able to receive it. When someone loves you, does some kind deeds to you, say kind words, give you gifts, or give you compliments, embrace it. Allow yourself to feel the love that has come your way. Know that you are worthy of love. It is important to accept a gift of love by others. You give yourself a chance to learn more about yourself that you are lovable. You give someone a joy of giving by loving you. Another important way is to practice receiving love by saying “I love you” to yourself. Let that love fill your heart. Receive that love that you give to yourself unconditionally.
2. Practice saying “no”
It is o.k. to say “no” to people when you do not feel like doing something. Do not feel guilty about it. Just realize that you have the right to do so. This is different from doing things out of love. If you do things out of love and your heart wants to do them, that is a different story. What I am talking about here is when your heart does not want to do it and you feel like you have to please someone, and make others happy by over extending yourself. Learning how to say “no” is an art. It takes practice. You might say “Thank you for asking. I am not ready to commit to doing anything right now.” You cannot please everyone. When you say “no”, remember to smile sincerely and say “no” gracefully.
3. Do what you love
What do you love to do? If you could find something that you love to do and spend time doing it, you will experience love, joy, and happiness in your heart. That is when you truly connect with your authentic self. As a result you become happier and more loving.
4. Treat yourself like treating your very best friend
How do you treat your very best friend? Do you treat him/her with love, kindness, trust, appreciation, acceptance, and respect? If you can give that to your friend, why don’t you give that to yourself? Practice treating yourself like you treat your very best friend by saying kind words to yourself. Stop calling yourself names. Stop beating yourself up. Forgive yourself. Give yourself compliments. Know your boundaries and listen deeply to your needs. Treat yourself kindly, gently, and lovingly like you treat your very best friend.
5. Forgive
Forgive yourself for all the mistakes, regrets, shames, and everything. Leave the past behind and be present with your new day. Today is your day. It is time to move forward. Just do it.
6. Nurture yourself
Self care is very important. Set up some time to be by yourself, just by yourself. Do something that gives you peace, love, and joy with yourself. You can nurture yourself physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.
Physical
*Go to a gym, yoga class, take a walk, play tennis, or any kind of exercise that you love to do
*Go to a dance class if you love to dance
*Take a nap when you want and need to
*Get a massage
*Consume healthy food that is good for your body.
Realize that you do this because you love you. Take very good care of you. If you don’t, who will?
Emotional
*Feel good about yourself. Look at yourself in the mirror, smile, and say “I love you. I am love, loving, and lovable.”
*Listen to your favorite music
*Acknowledge your accomplishment each day even it is a small thing
*Look at the sunrise each morning
*Pet your dog or cat
*Water your plants
*Call or e-mail your friends and share your feelings with them
*Wear your favorite clothes
*Do whatever makes you feel good about yourself
Mental
*Read your favorite books
*Write your daily journal about dreams
*Write your to do list
*Write your gratitude list
*Make a list of your short and long term goals
*Track your goals
*Make a list of things that you want to improve about your life, love, and relationships
Spiritual
*Meditate or contemplate
*Be centered with your higher self
*Connect with nature
7. Stop comparing yourself to others
Everyone on this earth is unique. We all have different gifts. When you compare yourself to others, it makes you feel bad about yourself. When you compare yourself to others for what they have, whether it is a car, a house, a mate, children, money, or a job, it makes you feel low self esteem, lose your confidence, and perhaps depressed, envy or jealous. A way to stop comparing yourself to others is by focusing on your own strength. Get to know yourself and discover what is your greatest gift that you are meant to share with the world.
Another great way is by practicing gratitude. Be happy for what you have. Really be grateful about everything that you have; people in your life, job, relationships, material, etc. Gratitude keeps your heart open to love. No one is quite like you. Just be you. Be grateful for being the wonderful you. Do the best you can. Be the best you can and love yourself more. Then, you have more love to give to others.
8. Stop trying to be perfect
Here is a quote from a dear friend of mine: “Excellence I can achieve. Perfection is God’s business”. Stop criticizing yourself for being less than perfect. Always do your best. But, not reaching perfection is not failure.
9. Change your self talk
“Change your Self-Talk and you will change your programs. Change your programs and you will change your life.”
~Dr. Shad Helmstetter
Have you ever watched your thoughts on how you talk to yourself? Is it negative or positive? If you have been talking to yourself negatively, you can change it by changing your programs. You can change your self-talk by changing your programs that have been stored in your brain since you were born. A great way that I would recommend is to listen to self-talk cds. It works for many people. It worked for me and it changed my life in an amazing, profound, and incredible way.
There are 3 books by Dr. Helmstetter that I highly recommend.
1. What To Say When You Talk to Your Self.
2. Who Are You Really And What Do You Want?
3. The Gift
To learn more about Self Talk, please visit www.selftalkstore.com.
If those books and cds can change my life and many people’s lives, it can change yours!
When you love yourself, you have more love to give. You become more attractive. As a result, you attract more love into your life when you are love, loving, and lovable.
With Love and Gratitude,
Pichaya
Saturday, October 2, 2010
8 Tips to Attract Love Into Your Life
Dear Friends,
If you are yearning to love and to be loved, here are some tips for you to attract the love into your life.
1.Be a magnet of love
You attract love by being a magnet of love. Love is what you are. The people you attract are the reflection of who you are. If you are loving, cheerful, or positive, you will attract that kind of people into your life. If you are angry, negative, or doubtful, you are more likely to attract that into your life. How do you practice being a magnet of love? It is simply by filling your heart with love and thinking happy thoughts. Think of a time when you first fell in love. Feel it. Truly feel it. How wonderful and blissful does it make you feel? Then, act upon it. Act as if you are already in love with your ideal partner. What does he/she look like? What are the values/qualities in the other person that you want to see? Imagine he/she is here right beside you. Imagine how great it feels for you to be loved by that special someone. Imagine the touch, the kisses, and the love making. Feel the softness of his/her skin, hair, the warmth of his/ her body, and hear the voice. See you both together being deeply in love, hear the laughter, and feel that strong bond of love between the two of you. When you imagine, it becomes real. Allow yourself to be unlimited. That is what you are. You are unlimited. Why limit yourself? Imagine, think, act, feel, and act upon it. Then, you will manifest it. When your heart is filled with love, you become a magnet of it.
2.Know who you are and what you want
It is very important to know who you are and to be specific with what you really want in your ideal life partner.
Here are some questions for you:
*What is your mission, vision, and life purpose?
*What are your values?
*What do you really want in a relationship?
*What is the most important for you in a relationship?
*What does your future partner look like?
*What qualities/values of your partner are you searching for?
*What are your relationship requirements, needs, and wants? To give you some ideas, please see mine:
Requirements
1. Must love me and my children unconditionally. (I was a widow with two small children at the time.)
2. Must accept the differences between us especially on my spiritual path.
3. Must be honest, loving, kind, giving, thoughtful, and understanding.
If one of those qualities is missing, the relationship would not work for me. I would not waste my time with that person. I would put my love and energy on searching for my white knight who would have those three qualities.
Wants
1.Compliment
2.Excitement
3.A middle age man 50+ with mustache and beard is a plus!
Needs
1.Love for me and my children.
2.Trust
3.Complete acceptance
4.Open Communication
5.Romance
6.Support
3.Believe in yourself and believe in love
What you believe, you achieve. If you believe that you would attract the right partner, you will succeed. If you believe that there was no right person for you, then, you would attract the wrong person. It is very important to recognize your highest potential and be aware of how you talk to yourself. Is it positive or negative? Any time when your negative voice appears, acknowledge it and ask yourself if it is true. Then, change that thought to be a positive and loving thought. Belief in yourself is a crucial step for your success in any area of your life.
4.Give love freely
One of the secrets of getting love is by giving it. True giving is when you give without expectation. When you give love freely, all that you give out comes back to you. It might not come back in the way you expect it, but you would truly feel it in your heart. If you can picture when you throw a boomerang, you will see how it comes back to you. What you give out comes back to you. When that love comes back to you, your heart will be filled with it. Then, you become a magnet of love and attract more love into your life.
5.Keep your heart open
It is hard to open your heart again after getting hurt. I know. I invite you to put things into perspective. Please see my questions to ask yourself below.
*How can you attract love into your life if you close the door?
*What could be the worst things that would happen to you if you allow yourself to be open?
*What possibilities or opportunities would you miss if you close your heart?
*What door would open if you keep your heart open?
*What are you afraid of?
*What impact does it have on you when you feel afraid?
*What opportunities are you missing when feel that way?
*What attitude do you need to shift?
*What would you do if you knew that there was someone out there in this universe who will love you truly and accept you for who you are?
*How would you feel if you fall in love again?
*How would you act differently?
*What would be possible when you give yourself a chance?
*How do you know if it is true that you would never find the right person? (This question is for those who believe in this thought.)
Please see my previous article about 10 Ways to Open Your Heart to Love.
6.Be grateful
Being grateful keeps you happy, healthy, and keeps your heart open to more love. The more you count your blessings, the more love will come to you. What are you grateful for? Make a list. Look at your list. Feel the love and all the blessings that have been given to you. Say “thank you” and really mean it from your grateful heart. You will feel the power of gratitude!
7.Be present
This is very important! Being in the present means you are here at this moment where you are manifesting love. Stop thinking about someone who broke your heart yesterday, last week, last year, or last decades. It is over. All of the broken hearts were over. The time is now for you to start your new life, new relationship, and new love. Let go of all the past. Be here now. Forgive those who hurt you. Send them love. Forgive yourself for everything. Today is your new day. It is your day to attract love. It is your day to be in love with yourself. Give yourself that love. Love, trust, accept, and forgive yourself. Give that unconditional love to yourself. You deserve to be happy. You deserve to be loved. You deserve your new love – it is on its way. It starts from you. Love yourself and be here now.
8.Dare to dream big
Dreams do indeed come true. When you dream, it gives you hope, courage, and inspiration. Anything is possible when you believe in yourself and allow yourself to be unlimited. Your dream have to be big enough that when you think about it, it gives you goosebumps. If you dream of finding your ideal partner, see yourself with that person, feel the love that you are receiving, and know that you deserve this special someone to truly love you. Be in the relationship that you have always dreamed of. Dare to dream big and start living it. You will see a miracle.
Attracting love into your life starts from you. You have the power to create the world you want. You have the power to attract the love you desire. You can do it! You are a magnet of love.
Love,
Pichaya
If you are yearning to love and to be loved, here are some tips for you to attract the love into your life.
1.Be a magnet of love
You attract love by being a magnet of love. Love is what you are. The people you attract are the reflection of who you are. If you are loving, cheerful, or positive, you will attract that kind of people into your life. If you are angry, negative, or doubtful, you are more likely to attract that into your life. How do you practice being a magnet of love? It is simply by filling your heart with love and thinking happy thoughts. Think of a time when you first fell in love. Feel it. Truly feel it. How wonderful and blissful does it make you feel? Then, act upon it. Act as if you are already in love with your ideal partner. What does he/she look like? What are the values/qualities in the other person that you want to see? Imagine he/she is here right beside you. Imagine how great it feels for you to be loved by that special someone. Imagine the touch, the kisses, and the love making. Feel the softness of his/her skin, hair, the warmth of his/ her body, and hear the voice. See you both together being deeply in love, hear the laughter, and feel that strong bond of love between the two of you. When you imagine, it becomes real. Allow yourself to be unlimited. That is what you are. You are unlimited. Why limit yourself? Imagine, think, act, feel, and act upon it. Then, you will manifest it. When your heart is filled with love, you become a magnet of it.
2.Know who you are and what you want
It is very important to know who you are and to be specific with what you really want in your ideal life partner.
Here are some questions for you:
*What is your mission, vision, and life purpose?
*What are your values?
*What do you really want in a relationship?
*What is the most important for you in a relationship?
*What does your future partner look like?
*What qualities/values of your partner are you searching for?
*What are your relationship requirements, needs, and wants? To give you some ideas, please see mine:
Requirements
1. Must love me and my children unconditionally. (I was a widow with two small children at the time.)
2. Must accept the differences between us especially on my spiritual path.
3. Must be honest, loving, kind, giving, thoughtful, and understanding.
If one of those qualities is missing, the relationship would not work for me. I would not waste my time with that person. I would put my love and energy on searching for my white knight who would have those three qualities.
Wants
1.Compliment
2.Excitement
3.A middle age man 50+ with mustache and beard is a plus!
Needs
1.Love for me and my children.
2.Trust
3.Complete acceptance
4.Open Communication
5.Romance
6.Support
3.Believe in yourself and believe in love
What you believe, you achieve. If you believe that you would attract the right partner, you will succeed. If you believe that there was no right person for you, then, you would attract the wrong person. It is very important to recognize your highest potential and be aware of how you talk to yourself. Is it positive or negative? Any time when your negative voice appears, acknowledge it and ask yourself if it is true. Then, change that thought to be a positive and loving thought. Belief in yourself is a crucial step for your success in any area of your life.
4.Give love freely
One of the secrets of getting love is by giving it. True giving is when you give without expectation. When you give love freely, all that you give out comes back to you. It might not come back in the way you expect it, but you would truly feel it in your heart. If you can picture when you throw a boomerang, you will see how it comes back to you. What you give out comes back to you. When that love comes back to you, your heart will be filled with it. Then, you become a magnet of love and attract more love into your life.
5.Keep your heart open
It is hard to open your heart again after getting hurt. I know. I invite you to put things into perspective. Please see my questions to ask yourself below.
*How can you attract love into your life if you close the door?
*What could be the worst things that would happen to you if you allow yourself to be open?
*What possibilities or opportunities would you miss if you close your heart?
*What door would open if you keep your heart open?
*What are you afraid of?
*What impact does it have on you when you feel afraid?
*What opportunities are you missing when feel that way?
*What attitude do you need to shift?
*What would you do if you knew that there was someone out there in this universe who will love you truly and accept you for who you are?
*How would you feel if you fall in love again?
*How would you act differently?
*What would be possible when you give yourself a chance?
*How do you know if it is true that you would never find the right person? (This question is for those who believe in this thought.)
Please see my previous article about 10 Ways to Open Your Heart to Love.
6.Be grateful
Being grateful keeps you happy, healthy, and keeps your heart open to more love. The more you count your blessings, the more love will come to you. What are you grateful for? Make a list. Look at your list. Feel the love and all the blessings that have been given to you. Say “thank you” and really mean it from your grateful heart. You will feel the power of gratitude!
7.Be present
This is very important! Being in the present means you are here at this moment where you are manifesting love. Stop thinking about someone who broke your heart yesterday, last week, last year, or last decades. It is over. All of the broken hearts were over. The time is now for you to start your new life, new relationship, and new love. Let go of all the past. Be here now. Forgive those who hurt you. Send them love. Forgive yourself for everything. Today is your new day. It is your day to attract love. It is your day to be in love with yourself. Give yourself that love. Love, trust, accept, and forgive yourself. Give that unconditional love to yourself. You deserve to be happy. You deserve to be loved. You deserve your new love – it is on its way. It starts from you. Love yourself and be here now.
8.Dare to dream big
Dreams do indeed come true. When you dream, it gives you hope, courage, and inspiration. Anything is possible when you believe in yourself and allow yourself to be unlimited. Your dream have to be big enough that when you think about it, it gives you goosebumps. If you dream of finding your ideal partner, see yourself with that person, feel the love that you are receiving, and know that you deserve this special someone to truly love you. Be in the relationship that you have always dreamed of. Dare to dream big and start living it. You will see a miracle.
Attracting love into your life starts from you. You have the power to create the world you want. You have the power to attract the love you desire. You can do it! You are a magnet of love.
Love,
Pichaya
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Seven Tips for Forgiveness
Dear Wonderful Readers,
What does it take to forgive someone who HURT you? Why forgive them at all? Forgiveness is one of the greatest gifts that you can give to yourself. You do it for YOU, not for anyone else. Think about when you hold on to the thoughts of someone who hurt you, how does it make you feel? Think about when you let go of all the painful past experience in life, how does it make you feel?
There are many people who have been abused or hurt in life. I once was one of them. It is very painful, so painful and hurting that the abused ended up hating the abuser, himself/herself or others, even innocent people. When abused, the mind of the abused becomes a breeding ground for prejudice, hate, hurt, closed heart and other negative traits. In some cases, the abused may feel hurt physically, verbally, mentally, emotionally, psychologically and even spiritually. Though a bad and sad encounter, there's always something to learn for the duo. This is a situation that impels the abused to ask, “Why me?”
From my personal experience, forgiveness sets me free. Forgiveness brings me love, peace, and joy in my heart. I would love to share some tips with you about how to forgive.
1. Love yourself
Be kind and gentle with yourself. Take good care of your body, think good thoughts, and live in spirit. You are a spirit. You are love. Stop beating yourself up from all those past hurts. Nurture yourself with love and care. Eat healthy food. Exercise. Do things that bring you joy, peace, and love. Look in the mirror and say “I love you.”
2. Look at life in perspective
Life is a precious gift. Every problem that comes in life is a great gift. Why? It is for each one of us to learn, grow, and become stronger. In truth, it is for all of us to learn how to love, accept, trust, and forgive ourselves. Look back and see everyone who has come into your life as your teacher. When someone hurt you, see the lesson behind it. You might be learning about forgiveness and compassion or love. You might be learning about who you truly are. You might be learning about making choices to choose how you think, act, and say and learn discrimination. You might be learning about being in the moment. When you put things in perspective and see the person who hurt you gave you as a gift of truth for you to learn more about yourself, you will be at peace.
3. Be in the present moment
Stop thinking about the past. When you think about your old hurts in the past, you make the stories become alive. Thoughts are real. Thoughts are energy. The more you think about negative thoughts, the more you give them energy. Focusing your thoughts on the past feeds the demons by giving them your attention. The result is that you create your own hurt by thinking about it. You cannot fix the past. You are here now. The incident is over. Start your new day and create your new picture. You are a creator of your own world. Think about what you want to create at this moment. The incident is not happening now. It is all in the past. Focus on your present. Take a couple of deep breaths, inhale, hold your breath, and let go. When you breathe in, feel the love that surrounds you. Allow yourself to truly feel that love within yourself too. When you exhale, allow your old hurts to leave you. Let it go, let it go, and let it go. Be at peace with yourself and feel that love in your heart at the very present moment.
4. Control your thoughts
When negative thoughts show up, acknowledge it. Then, ask yourself the following questions.
* Why am I thinking about this?
* Am I in the past or in the now?
* What is the benefit of holding on to this thought?
* What is the benefit of letting go of this thought?
* What choice do I want to make to bring me at peace?
You have the power to control your thoughts. It takes practice. You can do it!
5. Let go of your anger
Writing and meditating are great ways of letting go of anger. Releasing your anger through writing will help you let go of your anger. You can write an angry letter to someone who hurt you, but don’t mail it. It is not necessary. You might want to even burn it. Then, let go. Meditation is really a great way to bring you to focus on the present. When you are in the present, it brings you love, peace, and joy in your heart.
6. Choose to be, do and have
Forgiveness is a choice. You can choose to be angry, or loving. You can choose holding on or letting go. You can choose to be happy or sad. You can choose to be stuck or free. You can choose to have anger or love in your heart. You can create the world you want. You have the power within you.
7. Get help
It can be difficult to forget about the painful past and forgive those who hurt you. Find help and the support you need. Meeting with a therapist, friend, or coach might help you with letting go of your old hurts on a deeper level. Talking out your pain with someone who loves you and isn’t going to judge you will help. You deserve to have a happy life. You really do.
Forgiveness is another form of love. You give yourself a great gift by forgiving those who hurt you. You free yourself from hurt, anger and resentment. You are in this present moment. It is the moment for you to move forward. It is the moment for you to be in a new place where it is brighter, happier, and more beautiful. It is the moment for you to be free!
With Gratitude and Love,
Pichaya
What does it take to forgive someone who HURT you? Why forgive them at all? Forgiveness is one of the greatest gifts that you can give to yourself. You do it for YOU, not for anyone else. Think about when you hold on to the thoughts of someone who hurt you, how does it make you feel? Think about when you let go of all the painful past experience in life, how does it make you feel?
There are many people who have been abused or hurt in life. I once was one of them. It is very painful, so painful and hurting that the abused ended up hating the abuser, himself/herself or others, even innocent people. When abused, the mind of the abused becomes a breeding ground for prejudice, hate, hurt, closed heart and other negative traits. In some cases, the abused may feel hurt physically, verbally, mentally, emotionally, psychologically and even spiritually. Though a bad and sad encounter, there's always something to learn for the duo. This is a situation that impels the abused to ask, “Why me?”
From my personal experience, forgiveness sets me free. Forgiveness brings me love, peace, and joy in my heart. I would love to share some tips with you about how to forgive.
1. Love yourself
Be kind and gentle with yourself. Take good care of your body, think good thoughts, and live in spirit. You are a spirit. You are love. Stop beating yourself up from all those past hurts. Nurture yourself with love and care. Eat healthy food. Exercise. Do things that bring you joy, peace, and love. Look in the mirror and say “I love you.”
2. Look at life in perspective
Life is a precious gift. Every problem that comes in life is a great gift. Why? It is for each one of us to learn, grow, and become stronger. In truth, it is for all of us to learn how to love, accept, trust, and forgive ourselves. Look back and see everyone who has come into your life as your teacher. When someone hurt you, see the lesson behind it. You might be learning about forgiveness and compassion or love. You might be learning about who you truly are. You might be learning about making choices to choose how you think, act, and say and learn discrimination. You might be learning about being in the moment. When you put things in perspective and see the person who hurt you gave you as a gift of truth for you to learn more about yourself, you will be at peace.
3. Be in the present moment
Stop thinking about the past. When you think about your old hurts in the past, you make the stories become alive. Thoughts are real. Thoughts are energy. The more you think about negative thoughts, the more you give them energy. Focusing your thoughts on the past feeds the demons by giving them your attention. The result is that you create your own hurt by thinking about it. You cannot fix the past. You are here now. The incident is over. Start your new day and create your new picture. You are a creator of your own world. Think about what you want to create at this moment. The incident is not happening now. It is all in the past. Focus on your present. Take a couple of deep breaths, inhale, hold your breath, and let go. When you breathe in, feel the love that surrounds you. Allow yourself to truly feel that love within yourself too. When you exhale, allow your old hurts to leave you. Let it go, let it go, and let it go. Be at peace with yourself and feel that love in your heart at the very present moment.
4. Control your thoughts
When negative thoughts show up, acknowledge it. Then, ask yourself the following questions.
* Why am I thinking about this?
* Am I in the past or in the now?
* What is the benefit of holding on to this thought?
* What is the benefit of letting go of this thought?
* What choice do I want to make to bring me at peace?
You have the power to control your thoughts. It takes practice. You can do it!
5. Let go of your anger
Writing and meditating are great ways of letting go of anger. Releasing your anger through writing will help you let go of your anger. You can write an angry letter to someone who hurt you, but don’t mail it. It is not necessary. You might want to even burn it. Then, let go. Meditation is really a great way to bring you to focus on the present. When you are in the present, it brings you love, peace, and joy in your heart.
6. Choose to be, do and have
Forgiveness is a choice. You can choose to be angry, or loving. You can choose holding on or letting go. You can choose to be happy or sad. You can choose to be stuck or free. You can choose to have anger or love in your heart. You can create the world you want. You have the power within you.
7. Get help
It can be difficult to forget about the painful past and forgive those who hurt you. Find help and the support you need. Meeting with a therapist, friend, or coach might help you with letting go of your old hurts on a deeper level. Talking out your pain with someone who loves you and isn’t going to judge you will help. You deserve to have a happy life. You really do.
Forgiveness is another form of love. You give yourself a great gift by forgiving those who hurt you. You free yourself from hurt, anger and resentment. You are in this present moment. It is the moment for you to move forward. It is the moment for you to be in a new place where it is brighter, happier, and more beautiful. It is the moment for you to be free!
With Gratitude and Love,
Pichaya
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